My friends husband had a breakdown. His nephew called and said the brother died!

United States
December 16, 2008 2:44pm CST
My friend just called from Ohio very upset. Her husband will be in the hospital for at least a week from having a nerves break down. His brother had put his son up to calling him as a vicious joke. He was crying and saying that his dad had died. My friend feel apart, as this is the only sibling he has. He just lost his dad about a year ago. He and his brother got real close after my friend came back from Iraq. When he came back from Iraq he was told before arriving state side that he had to go for mental help as he wasn't coping well. He never did this. He has had an auto accident that left him disabled, with health issues. His wife also my friend said that they doctors are going to say something or send someone out to his brothers house for the prank. I have no idea what they are going to do, who they are sending and such. His wife had to get him to the hospital as he is trained in handing rifles and other things, as you can imagine from his time in bootcamp and Iraq. She was told to get anything and everything out of the house, guns, knives, etc. That when he returns home he may be able to harm himself with. His wife is beside herself. She is so upset and has told the brother not to call or come around again. This is a very sad situation. If you were her what would you have done when the brother called up laughing and going on? When he found out what had happened he blamed my friend for what happened to his brother, not taking any blame for the trick he played on his brother. Who do you think they are sending out to his brothers house and what do you think they are going to do or can do to him and his son??? As my friend calls me for advice and just to talk all of the time. Really calling when she has a problem asking me what to do and how to handle this and that. I told her to tell them to limit the people that can call or go to see her husband. In other words to not allow the brother and family to see or have contact with him at the hospital. Also for her to follow the advice of the doctors and get everything out of the house that he can harm himself with. She is alone now and has time to let things eat away at her. Thanks for hearing me out and reading all of this and for your response.
2 people like this
6 responses
• United States
17 Dec 08
I am so sorry your friend is having to go through this. The war has been so hard on families. Even some that return home, don't come home the same person that left. So the family still in a way lost the loved one they knew. The brother sounds like a very insensitive jerk. She is doing the right thing by trying to keep him out of her husbands life right now and I would not let him back in until he has proven to have changed. She does need to get everything that he can harm himself with out of the house. She may want to even lock up any and all medications. I hope that who ever they send out to talk to the brother really opens his eyes to the harm he has done to his own brother. I am truly sorry for your friends are having to go through this my heart and prayers go out to them.
2 people like this
• United States
17 Dec 08
Thank you so much travi. They have had so many problems since he came home, they lost their home because he couldn't find another job. They were homeless for a long time. You are right they do change and not in a good way. He stayed in the house and the jet booms around here he would hit there floor like it was a land mine. He said he wanted to go back. He never tried to and I'm glad he didn't. He also stopped going to his meetings and weekend things he was suppose to go to. His troup went back 6 months after they came home. He didn't go to a docotr and talk like he was suppose to. They put him out because of his problems. It's a shame they didn't try to help him. They just cut him loose. Then after he got a job someone hit him in an auto accident. The company van was totaled and he was severely hurt and is disabled now because of it. No job, and in servious need of help in many ways. They were homeless. They finally got a check for disability and bought a travel travel to live in. They have purchased some land and trying to get on their feet. His brother says it's his wife's fault that he went to the hospital. He is not taking responsibility for what he did. He has went so far as to tell her she is hurting him and no good for him and that he will pay for them to get a divorce. Now that is sad and has really hurt her. These kids really love each other and they have been through a lot.
1 person likes this
17 Dec 08
I think your friends brother is jealous of his relationship with his wife. His wife is really good for him. She has stood by him through some really bad times and will never let him down. The brother obviously cannot accept this. He is really sick and needs help. He also needs to realise what he has done to his brother. I hope everthing works out for them and that they get help for your friends troubles. I also hope his brother gets what he deserves. I hope you put on another discussion on this telling us he is OK.
• United States
17 Dec 08
Hi,moondancer,,,It is a sad situation when a brother will pull a sick prank like this when he knows his brother is having mental problems.To involve his son is unforgivable.This brother is sick and needs to get some help to find out why he would think that what he did is so funny.I don't know,but I don't think there is anything they can do to him except talk to him and find out why he would do this. Makes one wonder what he is raising his son up to be.To do a thing like this for any reason is sick and unforgivable.Evidently he has no feelings for his brother.Someone needs to see that he gets help.I hope your friend will be allright and that he will get the help that he needs..Good night and God Bless You
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 08
Your response that I wrote didn't show up. I apologize even though I know not what went wrong. I had said thank you and that you are absolutely right. The only way is to wait for it to be gone from the system. No way to beat it to this day, thank goodness.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 09
Hello moondancer,I thank you again for the best response. Take care and God Bless you.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
21 Jan 09
I think that your friend's husbands brother needs some ear pulling. He should know better how to treat his brother who is suffering from a depression. He needs help and not more things to put him down. I would talk with the doctors and professions to talk to the husband's brother and help them to patch up things. I don't think that its a good idea to keep them apart unless the brother is so insenstive to continue doing such pranks. © ronaldinu 2009 – the more people I meet – the more I love my dog.
• United States
21 Jan 09
actually ronald he is. He is always putting the guy down and telling him he's no good for anything and a bum. What it is the couple have had some bad and hard times but they still love each other and have roughed it all, but they still love another. The brother and his wife are over extended and not a good marriage. He has always put his brother down. After the brother came back from Iraq the wife got them together again thinking it would be a good thing for her husband since they had already lost their dad and he didn't patch things up with him. It wasn't a good idea and the other brother is as much of a jerk as her husband had been telling her he was. I would agree to helping them get back in with each other if the other brother was not the way he is. This couple have some land now and a travel traler even though they live in it, they are working on things in time. The brother comes over everyday giving him problems and then the phone call. Now he blames the hospitalization on the his brothers wife instead of himself where the blame should be. He even told her he would pay for them to get a divorce if she would leave him. he just can't let younger brother be happy.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
29 Aug 09
Well, it is a cruel joke to do and I sure don't know why his brother would pull a bonehead stunt like that but at the same time I would guess that he didn't think it would send his brother off the deep end like that. Sometimes ppl don't think that a joke would have that big of an affect on the person...especially if the person on the receiving end is already slightly off and hasn't gotten the counceling they were supposed to be getting. While I think that the brother really needs a good talking to about his "joke", I don't think they should be kept apart b/c obviously the brother means a lot to the one in the hospital or the joke wouldn't have affected him so much. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@wendy82 (437)
• United States
16 Dec 08
That is the worst prank or joke someone can play on someone. I agree they need to not be allowed to go see the husband in the hospital. Or they really need to apologize for what they are doing. Didnt they know that he would go into a breakdown for this prank. But they are being selfish to each one of themselve. Because no one would be my family member or friend if they would end taking the true love of my life away from me.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 08
I do agree. They are really selfish people and have caused them trouble for years. Always putting him and her down. Being jealous of what they have and buy for each other and the relationship they have.
1 person likes this
@teka44 (3420)
• Brazil
17 Dec 08
Hi moondancer. Where was you my dear? I miss you. Well, I think it is a very stupid joke. How a brother can do something like this with another brother? I think that you are right saying to her to not allow the brother and family to have contact with him. What would happen if they would make another joke like this? For me it is a devilish thing. When they will stop with stupid jokes? When he die? They make this and go with their lifes but your friend stay with the worst part. It isn't fair. If I were her never more allow them to have contact with him without vigilance. Some people doesn't have brain. Really! Don't disappear again my friend. Have a nice day.
• United States
17 Dec 08
Hello my dear teka. I have missed you as well. I have not felt good for a few months. With age it's so much harder and takes longer to over come illnesses. I have responded to as many post as I can but found it too much to post my own discussions until a week or so ago. I will be here as much as I can. Have a wonder New Year and the greatest Holidays ever y friend.