do you think Love is limited to your spouse only?

India
December 18, 2008 4:15am CST
We all love our spouce, but is it necessary that we love only him/her? is it not possible to fall in love, with a new person, and yet not feel guilty about it? would you think the same way had your spouce fallen in love with someone else? Why is it that we try and justify our own shortcomings, but are not forgiving when it comes to our spouce?
2 people like this
19 responses
18 Dec 08
There are lots of different kind of love. The kind we feel for our family is different to that we feel for our spouse. Likewise, we can have genuine feelings for friends or people who we don't know very well, still a kind of love, but not the same as that for our spouse. I don't think we should be looking to fall in love again if we are already married. We should not allow ourselves to develop those strong feelings which should be reserved only for our life-long partner. That way there should be no reasons for justifying betrayal, no cheating, no heartache which results from cheating. We should cherish our spouse and keep our love for them pure and only for them. :)
@laydee (12801)
• Philippines
18 Dec 08
I definitely agree with you icequeen. I mean, yes those feelings may be possible if you nurture it, but you know deep down that you're cheating when you fall in love deeply with someone else. No matter how people say it, there's no room for two loves in a lifetime. There's bound to be someone more loved.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
19 Dec 08
It is not possible to love more than one individual with the same type of true love associated with lovers. When true love fills the heart of a person, it does not leave any space for a similar love to occupy the same space. When a person says he/she is truly in love with another person, implying a similar kind of intense love, then there are several explanations or answers to this. 1) The person is lying. That is why in many cases the person can leave one of them high and dry. 2) The person is having a different kind of love for each person. 3) The love for the other person is similar but more intense and slowly pushing out the first love. 4) The same intense love is approximately divided into half, but never equal. Not all people try and justify their own shortcomings, and not forgiving when it comes to their spouse. Those who do are the arrogant, proud, and self centric people. all the best, rosdimy
2 people like this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
19 Dec 08
i dont think we should fall in love with someone else, if we are with our spouse that is all we need, however if we get divorced we can fall in love with whomever we want after that.
• Philippines
20 Dec 08
There are different kinds of love.We can fall in love with new people but of different degrees.For example,I can fall in love with my son because he is adorable but I can only love him as a son.I can do the same with my friends yet having only one special person in my heart.
@ronnyb (6114)
• Jamaica
21 Dec 08
The truth be told we are all humans and prone to error consequently we may see someone else and fall in love with them even when we are in a relationship with someone else.Naturally if love our spouse ,we should feel guilty about it and similarly we would hope that if the tables were turned our spouse would feel guilty too.We would hope they would feel so guilty that they fight to control these feelings and end them eventually.Many persons would feel betrayed if any action other than the one mentioned above was taken and this is why we should always consider how the other person would feel in these situations. This is the same premise on which any forgiveness should be based in situations like these.We should think we would like to be forgiven if we sinned against our partner in this way and that is why we would forgive our partner when they sin.It will be difficult though if we were faithful (at least to the extent of infidelity) but our partners were unfaithful.
1 person likes this
• India
21 Dec 08
thanks for the thought. i too feel the same.
@Khayam (346)
• Romania
18 Dec 08
Love is an deeply emotional change that occurs within our minds and souls. In contrast, marriage is a social contract that might/might not have been shaped around this emotional/mental system of value. You can't create an unbreakable bond between the two, because love could mean to be happy for someone's happines even when this happines doesn't include you. On another hand, people change. Not only phisycally, but also mentally/emotionally/spiritually. There are no certitudes that 2 people forming a couple would follow a similar path of development. It might happen for the two of them to choose different ways and to addopt different sistems of value. As a result, SPIRITUAL, EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL MUTATIONS might occur. And when these happen, it could trigger variations in a person's feelings and desires. In this context it would be utopian to claim that love, even intimate love, it is an unbreaakble bond.
2 people like this
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
19 Dec 08
Love is for everyone but Intimate Love is for that special someone. There is love and infatuation and sometimes we tends to mixed up the infatuation and think that it is love. I don't believe that a person can love two persons at the same time with the same intensity. I have always forgive my ex spouse because in receiving forgiveness you have to forgive. No human on earth is perfect and as soon as we realize this the harmony will be in the relationship. Even there were are not perfect we should make sure that there is respect in that relationship. Loss of respect will bring forth abuse etc.
• United States
19 Dec 08
well genuine love should only be for your spouse, but its very possible to fall out of love, and back in love with someone else. but then thats a problem in itself!
@jadegoat (89)
• United States
19 Dec 08
Forgive me but, I think you are confusing love with lust. True love is something that is long and lasting. I use to think you could love more than one person until I truly fell in love now I know it is just an attempt to have no guilt for not taking the time to let God pare you up with your true love. If my spouse fell in love with someone else, I would give him the same answer I just gave you. If he chose to sleep with that person our marriage would be over. The end.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
19 Dec 08
A husband or a wife may fall in love with other person.It's not unnatural.A person can fall in love several times.But if a person can't avoid his or her lover he or she should say this relationship to his or her spouse.They can amicabely settle this matter.Either they can be separeted or maintain their relationship.
@pitsay (172)
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
If you believe that loving someone when you are already married is unjustifiable then you are right, because you would only hurt your partners feeling. When we decided to get married we also make a bow that we will only love this person for forever. Well not unless that he beats you or something else. Basically i think that a person falls in love with someone or make a "head turn" to other person when he/she is not contented of what "they" have. But, if a person would only stay happy with the relationship and just make things possible then there would no "mistresses" or "the second half" in the world =).
@shebeck (114)
• Jamaica
19 Dec 08
That is quite an interesting question. I sometimes asked myself that same question too. I believed that your love cannot be limited to your spouse only. Why, because you can love several persons not with the same feeling though, you can love each individual for the different qualities or personalities that they display. I love my husband because he is industrious, helpful around the house and he is always concern about me. I have another male friend that I love as well and I love him because he treats me as if I am the only person in the world, he always said nice positive things about me even if I doubt it myself. Secondly, your spouse is not going to be the only person who loves you. Other persons will love you for different reasons. You do not need to feel guilty about loving another, it is natural as long as you are not sneaking around with the other person and doing things with him/her that your spouse would disagree with. If your spouse trust you enough and you are in love with someone else, there is no reason to any form of jealousy or resentment. Sometimes too it is not always easy when your spouse end up loving someone else and yes we do try and justify our own shortcomings but are not forgiving when it comes to our spouse, that because we are all human and can be selfish and unforgiving at times. Good luck
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
love is not only limited to your wife. It is also applicable to your mistresses.
• China
19 Dec 08
aha..good question firs of all. we'd better only love our spouse but love is not a thing we can control, for family's sake, we can't fall in love with others, if we do, then the family is borken and hurt the spouse's feeling i think. so. so lovers had better to keep them always green in their lovers eyes to escape any love move to others ....
@shonali (1286)
• India
18 Dec 08
the word love is vatly used.... why should and how canlove be related only to your husband or wife? wouldnt you love your children? your siblings? your parents? your pets? wouldnt yuo love your job? then how can one say that love is only related to your spouse..... i love my bike and car too..... but loyalty ...yes.... thats one thing that you can relate to your family only..... your personal relationships you can relate to your spouse..... but not love for sure.....
@bbsr13 (4197)
• India
18 Dec 08
Hello,Sweeti! Love is a vast subject.You love your parents,brothers and sisters,friends and others.But when you say of your love to your wife or husband it is something different.I love my wife very much which I can't share with anybody.It is a special type of love which comes from within,it is deeply emotional.thanx.
@bellebads (740)
• Philippines
18 Dec 08
since you're referring to the love for spouse, i must say that it should be felt only for your spouse. the fact that you marry him/her that means that you're in love with him/her and it should stay that way forever.
• Malaysia
18 Dec 08
Hi sweetnsalty :) In my opinion love for spouse is only one, it is different with love you had with children or love you give with family members. It could be summarized as: Love for spouse = 1 Love for children = according to how many you have Love for family members = father, mother, sisters, brothers. So, there shouldn't be any love outside this boundaries. If there is a feeling that we thought like LOVE, maybe it just a LIKE, and we can prevent that feeling before it becomes WORST. So, it is really important to take care our own heart from that unwanted feelings if we really love the family we had. Well, people always forgot to think outside/ or the bad effect if they do break the rule of love.
• China
18 Dec 08
i cant love anybody else when i still love my bf,but if he love someone else when we in love ,i will breake up with him .i think love should be unique