December 18, 2008 1:34pm CST
If your husband confesses to you that he cheated on you for a few month for another girl but realized it's over and done with, would you believe him? Worse, would you still believe in him and let him stay with you? This is not a personal experience, I have been blessed with a loving husband who has been very faithful with me (As far as I know, of course)... This is my friend's case. She has been shattered by the thought of her husband sleeping with another women. As her friend, I hate to see her breaking out like that but it pains me to know that I don't have the right words to give her comfort. I can tell her to leave him but when loves him so much and I know she will not be able to take the pain. What if he really learned his lesson already? I can tell her to forgive him and take him back to start over but will I just push her to something she will regret for the rest of her life. As they say, cheaters- no matter how they try to change, will always be cheaters. It's actually more about the thrill you know... For a fact, men in their late 30s to 40s cheat on their wives just to prove to themselves or maybe to their friends that they still have it. That they are still desirable. Well, other men will juts put the blame on the wife..like how she has neglected his needs or because they don't have an open communication or the same level of understanding and friendship anymore...you know...the usual psychological baggage they try to put on women just to justify their need to thi9nk highly of themselves... Anyway, it's hard to see my friend so sad but it's harder to find ways to help her about it...
19 Dec 08
Even though the husband confess about the mistakes, he needs to make extra effort to gain back trust. As for your friend, she makes the call because the husband has already broken the wedding vows. If it really affects her so much, she should focus on other things, her church, career or children if any. Leave him and move on. She deserves a normal and happy life. However if she thinks she can forgive (Nobody can forgive totally for this case, let the husband know so he dont take for granted that he is forgiven), make sure the husband make constant effort to compensate. I believed over time and true repentance from the husband, she can get over it.