supposedly im a bad mother..

I don't know your situation all that well, but I have wrote what you posted in earlier discussions. I don't think anyone has the right to call anyone a bad mother unless they truely are, but that is by means of the mother never taking care of the child. Secondly, I wouldn't say you chose your man over your daughter because like I said I don't know your situation, but of what you have said. But think what is best for your daughter and if staying with this man is not best for your daughter then that is a way of saying you chose him over your daughter. Him leaving you and your daughter on the street and him not caring enough that he just drove off...That don't sound like the best for your daughter. So I can see where your parents are saying you chose him over her.

I don't know the details of your situation, but I will support you anyways... UNLESS: your fiance beats you or your child, steals, lies, neglects or otherwises abuses either of you. I can only assume by your strong statement of "No man comes before my daughter" that this is not the case. So, if you love him and the problems you face are ones that can be resolved and not put you your or daughter in harms way, I think you should try to work them out. One very important thing you will teach your child is how to resolve issues with those you love. How to fight and still stay in love... My fiance and I have a beautiful little boy... we aren't perfect, our relationship isn't perfect and we do fight. But our issues are personality related; like any other normal couple, we fight over the temp of the house, the number of nightlights to keep on at night and putting the seat down! I wouldn't leave him for these issues even though my mom hates him! Issues like these are fixable; either by one of you accepting the way things are or one or both of you compromising and changing the way things are. Trying to see if this is the way to go with the man you love does not make you a bad mother. Giving up on the man you love, the relationship you invested time and emotions in, will only show your daughter that people are expendible. This will make you a bad mom. Try to work it out, don't listen to your mom's "bad mother" comments and remember, your mom is probably just worried about you and I hope is only looking out for your best interests. She's a completely different generation and that will definitely influence her thoughts when it comes to you, her daughter, the man you may spend the rest of your life with and her granddaughter. Good luck!

I certainly feel for your situation. I know it can be tough when it comes to close relationships. The fact that you say you are choosing to work things out with you fiance tells me there are some issues going on, and I know from experience that when you are in a relationship with someone and there are problems, your family is usually going to be more critical of the other person, simply because they are emotionally closer to you. In relationships the dynamics are that everything is not going to be perfect, there are ups, downs and everything in between. When that happens the family is closely watching and making judgments and are less forgiving when you are getting the bad end of things. On the flip side, because you are the one who loves that person intimately, you have more capacity to forgive even the worse of transgressions. Sometimes it's hard to see things for what they really are because you want to believe in this relationship and who wants to throw away all that they have worked so hard to build? I know for myself in the two intimate, long term relationships that I had, I ended up leaving eventually but looking back there were so many signs along the way that if I had looked at them for what they were, and not what I was hoping they would become, I could have spared myself a whole lot of grief. For your own sake and especially for the sake of your child, just try to look at what you are REALLY dealing with. If what you are dealing with can cause you and/or your child grief or harm, if when you are alone thinking about your relationship and you have feelings of doubt, if the thought of marrying makes you more anxious than happy (advice given to me that I did not listen to) then you have to give serious thought to if this is the right road for you. I don't think that choosing to work things out makes you a bad mother, but when a child is involved I feel you have to make more responsible decisions than you would need to do if you were on your own. I wish you the best in whatever you decide because I know it is tough. Just know that you have the ability to do what is best and above all, listen to your intuition.

that is to bad to hear i just wouldnt listen to them iknow that is harder to do then to say ive had people call me a bad mother and although it really hurts me i know it is not true