Relationship problems!!!
By Kysweetgal
@Kysweetgal (123)
United States
December 20, 2008 3:42pm CST
I asked you all the other day what you would do if your boyfriend or girlfriend was writing another person behind your back acting like the were not in a relationship and were only doing this behind your back while you were asleep or not in the room. When he wrote her a letter starting off dear sweetie, I didn't get to read it anymore because he deleted the page off really quick. The next day I saw him take a message of hers out of his inbox instead of reading it in front of me he moved it straight to her inbox. I confronted him about it and told him how I felt like you all said I should.
Now he says he is not writing her but I seen she had wrote him another letter after I confronted him about it saying she was so happy to get to hear from him again.
I told ho=im to tell her that he was engaged and he got a little efensive saying she knows. But the letter she wrote to him yesterday said that in his email she thinks that he likes and cares for her as well, like he is wanting to be with her instead of me. I emailed her from my account and got no response when I wrote her and said he was my fiance. So ater she wrote him back this time. It really irretated me so I emailed him from his account saying that he was engaged to be married. What do you think I should do now. I have tried talking to him. I want things to be better between us. I don't do this to him, why should he be able to do it to me?
4 people like this
11 responses
@michaeldadona (5684)
• Malaysia
20 Dec 08
Calm down girl, let play it by ear. The more you push him, the more stronger he would be. Matter of fact, you've done nothing wrong to him. Let him waste his energy to that girl. Once finished and if he come back to you in empty, easy for you to jolt him with only one simple sentence..."I hate you". Now you must show them that you are in stronger position and zone. How to do that?. Don't ask him anymore or show any element of botheration. Be quiet and some sort of isolation. I believe that, if you do this way, he'll starts asking himself for his wrong doing.
He is a male, going against him just like you're running against the strong wind. Male always easily broke either by ignorance or persuasion. So, better take ignorance step. Be a gainer and not for a winner, Kysweetgal.
@michaeldadona (5684)
• Malaysia
21 Dec 08
outch!!! thanks to both of you for you very nice 'chime-in'. I'm honored.
@piya84 (2581)
• India
21 Dec 08
Many have given reply to u dat what u shud do.I am telling u whatz cooking there in his mind.So u will be able to understan and take decission accordingly.Ur guy is nt in love with u.He likes u may be,but nt in love with u.If he get better option and a person for whom he can have intense attraction and love,then he is ready to dump u.This is may sound rude.but this is how it is.Why he is hiding it for u ?answer is he is nt sure about his other option,if he didnt get other option then he is happy whatever is in his hand ie.you.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
21 Dec 08
Does this writer told you that her man is dumping her. Why are you assuming that.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
21 Dec 08
Tell him that if this is how it is going to be between us, then I am calling the wedding off, and I am leaving you. No, you what, just leave him, yes, leave him because if he is doing this to you now, you know he will keep on doing this to you and he may end up doing it to the other woman. Man, some men can be real @$$holes!
@dodo19 (47121)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
21 Dec 08
He doesn't seem like he can be trusted. If he feels the need to lie to you now, chances are he's going to keep lying to you. And I don't think that that's the type of relationship you want to have with the man you want to marry. You should be able to trust him and both of you should be honest with each other. But I get the feeling that he can't be trusted and you seem to be the only one who is honest in this relationship, as you clearly told him how you felt about this. If you ask me, you deserve better than this guy. I know it's difficult to hear this type of this, as I would take it hard, if someone told me this of my fiance. But there are some guys who are like that, who are going to cheat, lie, be dishonest, ... And you deserve better.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
21 Dec 08
It seems that there is a trust issue on your part and I would not stand for it too much longer from your partner. Doing sneaky things and the like aren't going to do anything but cause more frustration for you. I wish you luck. You can find someone else to trust.
@metaljunkiechuk (225)
• Belize
21 Dec 08
Well, your relationship sounds like its on thin ice. Communication is key in any relationship. If your partner chooses not to talk then i guess you should let her go. I had similar problems, but with txts. My partner texted and texted and it got to my nerves i confronted her n saw that she liked the person she was txting. I talked it out and saw that it was not worth pursuing so i just had to break up with her. Just don't waste your time on people that aren't worth it. The more time u spend with her, the less time u spend finding the perfect one.
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
20 Dec 08
He does not seem like he can be trusted and if you do not trust him then you should not marry him.
@keep_onwatch (2680)
• India
21 Dec 08
Well just make it clear each time he does that, about your dislike to this one, and well even if he doesn't change, then it clearly means that he does nt respect how u feel about this thing. So when there is no co operation and understanding then its just a thing to think over the relationship again.
@vicki2876 (5636)
• Canada
21 Dec 08
You are only 24 year old and your live ahead of you. This guy is not ready to get married and still wants to be with other women. This is clearing going too far for a relationship that is suppose to led to marriage one day. It is not her fault but his fault. It is him in the relationship with you and he chooses to continue a relation on the side that is clearly more than friends. I would bail out now while you are still young and single instead of 40 with 2 kids and a divorce and he is off with another woman. He is a cheater and needs to go.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
21 Dec 08
I think that you are insecured and you need to get a grip of yourself. Stop writing this girl and STOP asking your fiancee about it. You are only pushing him towards this girl. As for endearments they don't means anything. The lady that I am working with she calls everyone honey, sweetheart etc. Sometimes I wonder which one of them she uses for her husband. Don't allow negativities take away your boyfriend from you.
Men dislike nagging and that is what you are doing. Both of you need your privacy and this is were respect comes in. Merry Christmas.
@kenchiprincess (5296)
• Philippines
21 Dec 08
kysweetgal, trust is very important in every relationship. in my case i won't marry someone whom i can't trust for behind my head i would be bother of what he will be doing behind my back. talk to him one more time and ask him what does he really like but you have to be ready of his answer. if he is doing this now are you sure he won't be doing it again after you two marry? you need t act now before it get worse. wish you the best my friend.
