should i break up with him because he never think about his future?

Philippines
December 20, 2008 9:35pm CST
i'm so tired of my boyfriend's attitude towards his future, all he wanted is to have some fun. he's 24 years old and never experience applying for a job because of his laziness. should i keep him?
2 people like this
10 responses
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
21 Dec 08
My suggestion is for you to break up with him. It would be a different suggestion if he has tried his best and even followed recommended techniques in getting a job whether working for someone else or being self-employed. As people get older it becomes more difficult for them to change their attitudes especially if they are happy and satisfied with what they are getting now. People like your boyfriend need to be jolted out of their dreams. If not your life will become more miserable. I have seen this happening and even though I am a male I do not support such behaviour. Love can surmount obstacles provided both sides love each other. The way I see it your boyfriend loves himself more. Get rid of him before it is too late and he should prove himself with real actions instead of making promises. all the best, rosdimy
1 person likes this
@shonali (1286)
• India
21 Dec 08
i had a same relationship about a year back.... ofcourse i did the wisest thing i could think of and thats breaking up with him..... he is now 24 and normally guys start working from the age of atleast 22 .... if he is acting this way at this age then either you tell him and talk to him or just move on.... as he is definately not going to be any good for you .... i tried really hard telling my ex bf too about getting a job and the difference between you bf and my ex bf was that your bf never wants to go for the interview i guess but my ex bf used to go for a lot of interviews but get kicked out in the first round itself..... so i used to train him in presenting himself in interviews and try to help him but when i used to try he never used to bother..... so i finally one day gave up on him..... i have no idea where he is now and dont want to know too but i heard he has moved on and maybe a break up did good for him.... maybe he learnt his lesson that no girl would like to be with a guy who is lazy and doesnt want to earn his bread and butter .... later in life if you are still with him he could be hanging on to you for everything including money, finance and support in every which way so get out of the relationship as soon as you can before anything of this happens to you i say this from experience !!
@shonali (1286)
• India
21 Dec 08
i had a same relationship about a year back.... ofcourse i did the wisest thing i could think of and thats breaking up with him..... he is now 24 and normally guys start working from the age of atleast 22 .... if he is acting this way at this age then either you tell him and talk to him or just move on.... as he is definately not going to be any good for you .... i tried really hard telling my ex bf too about getting a job and the difference between you bf and my ex bf was that your bf never wants to go for the interview i guess but my ex bf used to go for a lot of interviews but get kicked out in the first round itself..... so i used to train him in presenting himself in interviews and try to help him but when i used to try he never used to bother..... so i finally one day gave up on him..... i have no idea where he is now and dont want to know too but i heard he has moved on and maybe a break up did good for him.... maybe he learnt his lesson that no girl would like to be with a guy who is lazy and doesnt want to earn his bread and butter .... later in life if you are still with him he could be hanging on to you for everything including money, finance and support in every which way so get out of the relationship as soon as you can before anything of this happens to you i say this from experience !!
@shonali (1286)
• India
22 Dec 08
thanks a lot for the best response you gave me.... and also sorry to post the discussion twice...there was a problem with the net connection so got it on twice :P
@Apollyon (91)
• Philippines
22 Dec 08
this post is probably late cause you already have broken up with him. all i wanted to say is. break up with him.
@maean_19 (4660)
• Philippines
22 Dec 08
I have the same situation way back year 2000. That was when i broke up with my spoiled brat bf. He was then in his teens and I have perceived he would be somewhat immature and irresponsible if I would remain with the relationship. I broke up with him because he is indecisive and happy go lucky. Many girls are into him and I hate it not because I was jealous rather it's because few of those girls had been harassing me knowing I was the real girlfriend. After we broke up, our communication and friendship have not faded and that was good. So, in a way I still know what has been going on his life. Last year, we met again and I even accommodated him to stay in my place for a while as he looks for a job at age 27. He has his own family now, yet unmarried, and he is jobless. After 2 or 3 job interviews, he quits. Now, a year had passed and still jobless. He does not live with his family and no interest to find a job because he is thinking he has his older siblings and parents to support. With that short summary, can you tell me if my decision of breaking up with him few years ago was just proper? When he stayed at my place for almost a month gave me a headache. He never tries his best to earn money thinking that he already have a family. He hasn't matured. His principles are still very shallow and he is thinking he is miserable. He is pathetic. Think!!!! If at your bf's age and he still thinks life is that easy, get out of the relationship. He would be a pain in your butt. When you talk to him about his plans, you can just assess how he thinks and his attitude towards life. You could already tell what would be his future like. The decision is yours.
@buenavida (9526)
• Sweden
22 Dec 08
We could ask: Who raised this guy? Why is he behaving like a teenager? Does he eat junk food, that has a lot of bad fats that prevents his brain to function properly? Lack of Omega3 fats could cause ADHD and DAMP and other behavior problems. So he might be in big need of help. Make a search online and check what these terms mean. Some older person should take care of him and teach him how men are supposed to behave, after all they may have to take care of their children and support their wife and respect her and others. If he gets the right treatment, preferably from someone who knows what he is doing, he might once become a responsible man who deserves respect.
@annierose (18949)
• Philippines
21 Dec 08
Did you talk with your boyfriend regarding on this issue? I suggest that before breaking him, you should talk to him first so to make it fair for both of you.Ask him what he really wants on his life. Perhaps, your boyfriend has a rich parents that is why he is not looking for a job. Some guys tend to depend on their parents especially if he knows that they can support him. Talk to him first. Make it a sincere talk. Open his mind on the consequences of his negative attitude.As much as possible, make him realize that you hate his character and you want him to change. That change will not be for his own benefit but also for the goodness of the relationship and for a bright future of both of you. If after talking to him, still you cannot see changes, then I can say that you cannot have good future with him. That just simply means to break with him.You cannot be happy if the guy you love is so irresponsible. Nothing good can happen with your life. I am afraid that if you continue your relationship, you will have regrets in the end. You might wish to turn back time so not to commit same decision again that will make you suffer.
@Gesusdid (1681)
• United States
21 Dec 08
well i mean theres nothing you cant do but compromise , or reason with him , its kinda sad to say put all the chips on the table and give him a choice to make , get a job or lose you ...i cant see how he's haivng fun everyday with no money coming in ..have a nice sit down with him and give him some straight talk , you know what you need to do
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
21 Dec 08
Your boyfriend is very irresponsible. If, at 24, he has never applied for a job it is not likely that will change until he has to. Ask yourself this? Who is supporting him right now? As long as that continues he will not change. Run, do not walk from this person as he will drag you down and the difficulty you have now in leaving will be minor to what it will be later. Your very question tells us you know the answer. Leave now and don't look back. Life is tough enough you don't need to have to raise him also.
• China
21 Dec 08
You can't change him, so you'd better go. If you still keep the relation with him, you will feel tired and at the end, you will be hurt by his attitude.