Should some one have the right to try to get joint or full custody of a child...

I don't think they should get the child back. Oh but its the mother who cares she wasn't around before and I think your damaging the child by doing that. I think the judge should think about the child more then the mother on this one. The mother should of taking responsibility when it was her time to. Its not like the child is a pet. I think a childs life would be messed up from doing that and they may act up and a different judge will then have another problem on their hands.

I don't think those that walk out on their family should have the right to joint or full custody later down the road, unless the parent that has full custody is somehow a bad parent. But still, I think it would be better if the parent that walked out of their child's life not bother with trying to get joint or full custody, but rather visitation rights instead. Of course, the child should be able to have some say in the matter, if they are old enough to do so and capable of making of making such a decision. One of my nephew's didn't meet his dad (my brother-in-law) until he was 9 years old. Apparently my nephew was curious about him and wanted to meet him. His mother agreed and they were able to met. Though my brother-in-law never tried to be a father to his son. In fact, my husband was more of a father figure than his brother was. My brother-in-law never tried to get custody, but his son's mother did let him visit this side of the family while my nephew was still a minor. He even lived with us for a while. My brother-in-law has another son from a different woman. Apparently they broke up when this son was just a year old or so. He hasn't seen him since. His half brother (my other nephew) got in contact with him recently, but he wants nothing to do with his dad. Can't say as I blame him, but I think he should get in touch with the rest of the family as we aren't all like his dad.

no court I know would give that person full rights, perhaps visiting rights and stay overs at the house if the conditions were right but not full rights. here in quebec a child of 14 can make up his or her own mind and stay with whatever parent they want to,

In this situation I dont think the parent should have any rights at all UNLESS the child wants to know their parent. If the child is happy, the parent shouldnt be so selfish to uproot the child in their life. I know that the parent is selfish as they took off but if they even cared at all they would then stay away in my opinion.

It doesn't make sense to me. They decided the noncustodial parent deserves all these rights but never consider the child or other parent. I believe the father who does his best by his kids deserves the right to see them, but this rule also applies to the bad ones who don't. Despite what the "experts" say, having contact with the other parent is not always a good thing. In my opinion, as a mother, a woman has no excuse. I've long said I have more respect for the deadbeat parent that leaves and never returns. At least they aren't coming around messing with the kid's head. My ex comes around once in a blue moon. My youngest is 17 so I expect that to stop soon. My son has no interest in having a relationship with him. He's given him more and more chances to start acting like a dad, still nothing. We came to the final straw when my son asked him to fix the radio in my car. He said he would and never came back. My son's reaction was "Well, I've done without him for thirteen years. Guess I can go another."

Several years ago I was a licensed foster parent. My primary fostering was emergency care for abused children. Most of the kids that I took into my home were there for less than 72 hours. I would get calls in the middle of the night when children, usually sibling groups were taken out of their homes and needed a place until they could be placed long-term with a family member. However, I had one sibling group that I kept long-term on three different ocassions. It was the saddest thing I ever saw. When I first met these children they oldest was 14 and the youngest was 7. Two boys and a middle girl. The oldest boy had a broken leg and couldn't get around. Mom had taken off with a boyfriend and left the children at home alone, she had been gone for over 3 weeks when the state found out. The children had been without food for a few days when the school figured out there was a problem. There were no family members to help. I lived in the same town so they placed them with me and they stayed with me as it was easier to keep them in the schools and near the medical facilities they were use to. Mom returned about 3 months later and petioned the courts for a return of her children, she got them. About six months later she took off again. This time she simply dropped them on my door step with a letter that she needed a break. I called the state again and this time petitioned for their custody, the state was happy to give them to me to foster as a sibling group. Not many people are willing to take sibling groups especially ones with problems. This time mom was gone about six months and she had to work a bit harder to get her kids back. This time she came back with a husband who had just recently been released from prison. The state was a little reluctant to simply release the kids so they ordered family counseling. Eventually, about two months actually back the kids went to mom and new step dad. Then oldest son was arrested for assault and theft. Because of the severity of the charges he was sent to Juvenile. Daughter was heading in the same direction. Mom and step-dad were in the bars every night and leaving youngest son alone a lot. One day they simply didn't come home. About a week later daugher and youngest son showed up on my door step again. This time because it was winter, they had no electricity, no food, and there was an eviction notice on their door. Again I petitioned the court for their fosterage, again they said yes. Again about four months later mom returned, this time without hubby who was returned to prison for parole violation. Again children were returned to her. The system is broken. Some people should not be parents. Just because a woman or man is capable of reproduction does not mean they should be allowed to raise children.

My son in law has custody of his kids...when they lived over seas the kids did nothing but flourish...she abandoned her family when they lived in Italy leaving them for another man....well my daughter has been their "mom" for six years...all of sudden they move back to the states and the mom has been given joint custody..so everytime my SIL has to go out of the states they go to their mom's and there sits my daughter without "her" kids.....the last time my SIL went though...the mom called my daughter and wanted her to take the kids because she couldn't handle it....The kids love going to their mom's.....she gives them everything and lets them do whatever they want...I think it's good they see their mom...but I dont' think it's right that they go for days at a time just to be rejected again by their mother.

It is not fair to leave your child and expect full custody after having been away for a long time. It is a selfish not to think about the effect the biological's parent's return can have on the whole family. I do agree that it is wrong; children are not possessions. If a person decides to give up a child part of the decision making process should be the fact that the mind can't be changed later. It is different I guess when biological parents may want to meet the child and vice versa years later as long as the rights of the adoptive parents are respected.

Hi again moonlit, I would sound a bit conservative when I venture to say that "DIVORCES" should not happen in the first place! Especially, when there is a child involved. A child really needs the LOVE & Care of both the Parents. He/ She needs to see, watch & learn from both the Mother and the Father. Parents should really try to avoid a DIVORCE !!!