After marriage, the husband or wife,whose freedom is lost more?

@muru1950 (964)
India
December 26, 2008 1:22pm CST
I read in one of my bachelor friends home ,"This home is my castle..till the queen arrives " In another married man house I read:"I am the boss of this house,I got the permission to say so from the Home Management." In my opinion, in general, the wife only loses her freedom after marriage.But the husbands talk as if they only lost their freedom. What is your opinion?
3 people like this
25 responses
@miamhae (339)
• Philippines
26 Dec 08
Their an some thing we can't do when we are married and their are some we can't do when we are single... In my opinion it same both women and man lost same amount of freedom in their life....As now man and women are in same level of respect, except in some countries that they treat women as just in they feet...
1 person likes this
@muru1950 (964)
• India
27 Dec 08
Hi miamhae, In my country,the women who are housewives,suffer a lot from the ruling attitude of "in-laws".In some cases,even the employed women are no exemption.However there is a positive change in the attitude of husbands of this generation. Happy mylotting
1 person likes this
• India
29 Aug 09
But that change is only for some time after that they all become alike
@LaurenInLA (2271)
• United States
26 Dec 08
I've been married for 35 years and honestly, I've never thought of it as losing my freedom at all. Each of us is free to do what we want to do but when you get married, you lose the desire to do things with people other than your life partner. The only restriction that we have on each other is that if you're going to spend over $100, there needs to be a discussion with the other party first.
1 person likes this
@muru1950 (964)
• India
26 Dec 08
Hi LaurenInla, Happy to note your secret of happy married life. Consulting other partner,before spending a bigger amount,is a good tips to follow. Happy new year.
1 person likes this
@hellojam (42)
• India
27 Dec 08
It is not about loosing something. Actualy both husband and wife will have to give up something to lead a happy life
1 person likes this
@ahmadia (117)
• Malaysia
27 Dec 08
definately the man loses his freedom. he has to be at home every night , he cant take a time to be with his buddies .always and every time he has to be with her or at the house.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Dec 08
I will not marry just to loose my freedom. I don't think I got married to loose my freedom and I have never felt that way since the day. Marriage is not a chain link to someone else so they cannot move and do the things they can instead it can be an extension to freedom since you can do some tasks easily because someone is there to help you out and do things easily. Our love one should be like a breath of fresh air to us. Respecting each other in the family is one of the basic rules in marriage. Sometimes disagreement arises but it does not mean the freedom to do something is lost. I can always go anywhere I want without my husband as long as he knows where I am and vice versa. Trust and respect are issues settled in even in the beginning of relationships. If we truly love a person we should trust and respect them. If we can't then there is no need to get married.
• India
26 Dec 08
I personally feel that women will be losing her freedom after getting married because as she have to get into new place and have to adjust with the strangers and neighbors which is not an easy thing.Even she may feel uncomfortable and lonely with her husband at the beginning of their married life f they had got arranged marriage.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 08
Neither will lose anything unless it's a bad marriage. We're not discussing slavery, after all. In a marriage, we enhance one another's lives, we don't restrict them. I'm always truly happy to have the husband I have. Thinking about your post, I wonder if I'm a lot luckier than I even realized!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 08
I think both partners lose a little bit of their freedom. When it comes to who loses more, I think it depends on the two people in the relationship. Some men are more bossy and take over control in the relationship. While in other cases, the women is more bossy and takes control. But in my opinion, both people loose a little bit of freedom.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 08
Both parties lose some of the freedoms they had.Once you bring another person into your life you lose the freedom to make decisions on a whim. You now have to consult your partner, or at least consider the other persones feelings. Then when children come into play freedom can become a distant memory. So now your feelings aren't first or even second any more. Hopefully you and your partner love each other enough to make the freedom that you are losing well worth it.
• Philippines
26 Dec 08
I have not been married yet but I live with my partner for years. And from the way I felt it, I myself has lost freedom (husband) Once you had a child or a family you'll be thinking much on how you will improve their life with you. You want to buy things they want, give them foods they need, make them happy, Even give them a house to shelter and etc. That will be your highest obligation. But for me doing those I mention above makes me happier that my lonely life. You won't be happy if you don't do anything.
1 person likes this
@goldeneagle (6774)
• United States
26 Dec 08
definitely the husband...
1 person likes this
@snowcat46 (2322)
• United States
27 Dec 08
I think both people lose some freedom. At least, if they're making a good marriage. Marriage, like any relationship, is a compromise. We also have some of those "funny" sayings. Our daughter bought each of us things like that. Part of marriage is being able to accept these funny sayings, that hold a bit of truth, in the spirit they're given. Laugh, and try not to think about when it's actually true. In the beginning of any marriage, both people are so busy dealing with loss of freedom they have a hard time seeing that the other person is also coping. Marriage is rough. But with the right person, it's well worth it.
@liisafiat (660)
• Latvia
27 Dec 08
I think that woman is the one who losses her freedom after marriage. Woman is the Queen in a household and takes care about EVERYTHING: cleaning dishes, washing clothes, preparing food, etc. Simply because man does not care about things like that!! So woman takes care of EVERYTHING, and besides all that: she will carry a baby, and after birth she will loose her beauty... :( So she becomes even more `sticked` to her husband and the household. What about man? Well, he still has his social life and lots of friends outside the house! He does not do much work in the household, everything is cleaned and prepared for him. He does not give a birth to child, so his body remains beautiful for a longer period of time. He only losses his power inside house, like, to walk with dirty shoes, etc, but this is just because his wife knows: he will not clean it afterwards!! So he has to accept rules of his wife: "Take off your shoes!", "Wash Your hands!" and "Fix this shelve!". :)
@nchap36 (556)
• United States
27 Dec 08
They both equal loses there freedom.
@herumana (52)
• Guinea
27 Dec 08
i think both will think that he/she is the one who lost most.... as i said before....as soon as they get married, the man lost his degree, the woman gets her doctor, and soon they will get their PHD, problem holder degree.....
• India
27 Dec 08
woman looses more of her freedom as she has to take care of her own family as well as her husband's family. Husbands loose their freedom to flirt with every second woman for which they lament a lot.
• China
27 Dec 08
I think both, because marriage is not the thing for oneself, the two people should take their own responsibility.
@sweetyethot (1738)
• China
27 Dec 08
I think it depends mostly on personal characters.Besides, different people have diffrent attitudes towards freedom.As im a single,i cant tell you more on the topic.But i dont wanna lose much freedom after marriage one day.
@jpso138 (7863)
• Philippines
27 Dec 08
Hi muru, I have been married for about 7 years. Well, I do not think that their is freedom lost in our relationship. But rather, there are obligations, new obligations which we never had before when we were single. We are free of course but the thing is, when we make decisions, it has to be for the benefit of both. Marriage is actually a union and for it to work their should be a mutual understanding between both. If one has last freedom, then I do not think it is a healthy marriage relationship. Best to you!
@rajesha20 (209)
• India
27 Dec 08
i always feel once u feel ur freedom is gone then the relationship will get into tuffer time but there are some time it happen but u always get to know new friend to join for the party which i think increase happiness