What advice would you give someone on how to BE A GOOD MOTHER IN LAW?

So, this daughter-in-law/mother-in-law cribbing is there in the west too! That is little surprising for me for I thought the concept of MIL coming into the life of DILs is near absent in Western Societies since, there is not much dependence economic or otherwise between parents and children in the West. One thing I have learnt, the Oedipus complex in women and the mother's love for her son and jealousy with her DIL seem to be built into nature. Thus this problem is much reduced in the west than the East but all the sme it is not absent. I tell you one thing. If you are a good mother-in-law treating your DIL as a princess and if your DIL acknowledges it, then I am sure your are a rare case.

Never interfere in personal affairs. Call before a visit,you never know what is going on at your dil/sol house. Dont tell them how to raise their children. dont critize decisions they make. dont make comments about how they spend their money. dont make a point to find out everything that goes on in the household. Be respectful of their feelings. Respect their privacy. Be understanding of the way they want to live they are not you afterall. dont ask personal questions. dont critize the way they raise the children. dont critize at all.

My advice would be to except that your son now has a family of his own. He can't be there at your beck and call anymore. He has responsibilities to his family first. You can't run his life anymore or make his decisions for him. Same would go for a daughter I guess.

Someone told me she calls her daughter in law a daughter in love - if you approach it that way you can't go wrong! Also, understand that your son and daughter in law live in THEIR home and do things THEIR way.

think about your son or daughter's feelings. if you will do something bad for your son or daughter in-law, their also hurt about it. Yes, your right, don't talk behind their back because all those bad things you will say will also reflect to your son or to your daughter. hmmm! what a timing! just remember that if you show love to your son/daughter in-laws, they will show and give love too to your children. I think you have to take care of them, love them because they are the one who will be with your children for a lifetime the one who will take care of your children too when your gone, that's why you have to be good to all of your son and daugter in-laws.

Keep out of your son/daughter-in law's matter/household.