Who is Providing Our Children with Direction and Structure?

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College and the military are filled with people from every walk of life and background. Every family dynamic is represented, making both great places to learn about young people searching for their place in the world. When I was an Army NCO both on Active Duty and in the National Guards of 3 states, I had the opportunity to talk with new soldiers about their reasons for joining the Army. One of the most common responses had to do with wanting structure and direction in their lives. I saw the same thing when I went to college. Young men and women who were searching for structure and direction. I saw the same thing running ambulance in cities such as Atlanta and Milwaukee. Young people looking for direction and structure in their lives. People wonder why kids join gangs. The common misconception is that the kids are rebelious and refuse to follow rules or listen to anyone. But the reality is exactly the opposite. Kids in gangs have more rules and requirements than almost anyone else. It's one of the most conformist subcultures there is. Until they are initiated as members of the gang, they are ordered around and told what they can and can't do by pretty much any member of the gang they are trying to get into. They can be ordered to do the most degrading and abusive things, but they do it without argument. That's a lot different than the reaction their parents, teachers, counselors, police officers, judges or anyone else in authority get. So how do gangbangers get respect and obedience from the very same kids society has labelled "disrespectful" and "disobedient". The same way the military and college does it. The British SAS motto says, "Who Dares Wins". This is true in almost everything, including raising kids. The reason gang leaders get respect where parents don't is, they dare to tell the kids exactly what is expected of them and what the consequences will be if they don't do it. They are also not afraid to back it up when necessary. If you're not willing to give your kids structure and guidance, someone will...