faking sick

Canada
January 5, 2009 5:48pm CST
my 5 year old daughter has been faking sick a lot this year to avoid going to schoo. she likes school once she gets there so i don't think there is something going on there. i think it's just that she is not a morning person like me and has a hard time getting up and ready in the morning. i've tried explaining is she keeps lying i'll never beleive her when she is really sick. she had 3 weeks off school for hollidays, today was her first day back and she tried to pull this on me. do your kids do this. this is like every morning so it's getting on my nerves
3 people like this
15 responses
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
6 Jan 09
She may have had one or two run ins with someone that made her feel bad and is having anxiety. I have horrible anxiety to the point that it actually does make me sick but I'm always ok once I get into the activity. Do you know if she has friends? It may be a good idea to invite one of her friends over for a playdate so she is looking forward to seeing her each day. My daughter has said it once or twice in the last 3 years but never consistently and she only has a moment of reservations. She may be introverted and have a hard time opening up to new people. She may be very sensitive and things that we wouldn't think would bother someone may bother her. There are many reasons. The best thing would just be to have a conversation with her and with her teacher(if she is receptive and kind). I would try the playdate. One good friend can make a world of difference. Good luck, they are so hard to understand sometimes! I understand!
2 people like this
• Canada
6 Jan 09
she is actually very outgoing. has lots of friends and one really good one which she hangs out with at school every day. she is not shy at all and the teachers have a hard time getting her to stop talking at school. she is sensitive though if people are mean to her. but i've been talking to her about it for ever. even spoke to another little girl that used to be mean to her last year but that problem has been solved. she never complains about people being mean to her unless somone accidently knoecked her over or through snow in her eye which happened today. anyway not sure what else to do. thanks for the advice
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
5 Jan 09
Maybe something is going on before school or on the bus if your daughter rides the bus. This happened with my daughter last year and come to find out two girls on the bus were being mean to her once they got off the bus before school. She finally told me and I called the principal and bus driver. It was taken care of and then she was fine going to school again.
2 people like this
• Canada
6 Jan 09
no she's really open when it comes to people bugging her. she's a bit of a wimp. anyway i drive her to school and pick her up. she likes school i think she'd like it better if it started in the afternoon though. lol
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jan 09
oh lor dmy step sons do this all the time. they will even wait til the get to school and make themselves throw up so they can be sent home. my kids have learnt many ways to get to stay home or to be sent home nad im so sick of it. so what i do is if they are "sick" they stay in their room.
2 people like this
• Philippines
6 Jan 09
Kids often try to manipulate adults by pulling out an excuse not to go to school, but it's probably a good idea not to say it up front that you know she's making it up, because this might cause some distrust between the two of you. It's important to get her side of the story. Ask her if there's any reason, other than being sick, why she wouldn't want to go to school. Being sick might just be a coverup for some other problem faced with going to school, like bullying, and you can tell if there's some other problem they're having at school often just by the way they're acting at home. With some gentle coaxing, you can get the real reason why they don't want to go when they realize you can't be fooled with their excuses. If not then it's either your daughter is really sick or just too lazy to go. Unfortunately, the only cure for laziness is tough love, and she's gonna have to go to school whether she likes it or not after you explain it to her. It's much better for her to be angry with you rather than her knowing she can fool you because inconsistency causes distrust. This usually goes away after the holiday vacation wears off and school becomes routine again. God bless you and your daughter. :)
2 people like this
@lingli_78 (12836)
• Australia
6 Jan 09
i don't have a child yet at the moment... but when i was still a child, i never fake sick ever to avoid school... in fact, it is the other way round... i still force myself to go to school even though i am feeling unwell... i just don't like to miss classes as i hate to do the catching up... may be your daughter is being bullied by her friends at school... or have other reasons for avoiding school... you might want to find that out from her... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@Fortunata (1136)
• United States
6 Jan 09
There's something bothering her, and for some reason she doesn't want to tell you. I would investigate and go to the school, it could be she's being bullied by other kids, or it could be the teacher. I had a kidnergarten teacher that was the wicked witch of the west-she didn't like it because I was left handed. She made a point of making me the butt of all her jokes in class, and when she screamed at me because I wouldn't move fast enough, I snapped, and started crying and couldn't stop. When I went home, my mother kept asking me what was wrong. I wouldn't tell her, because in my family I was taught not to complain and to keep things to myself. My mother went to the school and had it out with the witch, then I got transferred to another class. After that, I liked going to school again.
@healer (1783)
• India
6 Jan 09
This kind of situation is very hard even though i am not a mother i use to experience this kind of situations with my nephews and it really get on our nerves. And i think its because of some internal problems with them in the school. What i found out about my nephews' case was because of heavy home work by their teacher and the teacher was very strict so they don't want to take the pressures because they are kids. In this kind of situations we need to speak with them and let them understand that its for their betterment and they should not be discouraged. When i was a kid i use to sit on the front row so mostly i was the first to be asked questions and its embarrassing at times when we cannot reply easy ones for others and also the teachers don't help there instead they ridicule so, some times in order to skip their classes i use to make excuses about stomach pain and other excuses so that they will let me stay in the Medical ward and i don't mind taking medicines.
@youless (98996)
• Guangzhou, China
6 Jan 09
My child is 4.5 years old and he doesn't know this trick yet. To be frank, I don't know what to say as I am surprised that your child is so smart to use this method not to go to school:) I know it's wrong. But I am still impressed that she is so bright:) I think it can be understanding. In the cold freezing winter, I even don't want to wake up and go to work. But I have to as I have to make a living. I hope you won't blame your daughter. Just tell her to be reasonable and be a good example of yourself. If she has to do it, then at first you have to do it better. Otherwise it can convince a child. I love China
1 person likes this
@UK_Shree (3604)
6 Jan 09
Hi there, well I do not have children but my nephew used to do this regularly when he 5 years old too. It would be hard for his mum to wake him up and get him ready but once he was at school he was fine! I did worry that there might be something else going on that was making him uncomfortable about going to school such as bullying etc but he just kept saying he had a tummy ache or a belly ache! In the end he grew out of it, and luckily it was a passing phase. He is 7 years old now and is happy to go to school without being forced into it. Hopefully your daughter will do the same soon.
1 person likes this
• India
6 Jan 09
I never used to do this as a a kid, and I am still not a mother yet, so I have no such experience. But I can tell one thing that you are doing the right thing. The way you are saying your daughter that if she goes on lying like this , then you are not going to believe her anymore, may evoke some fear within her. And I suggest you to do that one day....just don't believe her......at least show her that you are not believing. It will slowly work.
1 person likes this
@callarse1 (4786)
• United States
6 Jan 09
Yea I think I used to do that, ---I didn't like getting up either...or sometimes I didn't want to go take a test. My parents really thought I was sick cos I didn't do it too often. You're right to explain to her that you won't know how she is sick..plus you should mention that she likes school so she should get up. Take care Pablo
1 person likes this
• India
6 Jan 09
My son has to get up at quarter to six in the morning and does not like it a bit. But I have been very strict on this all along. Since he had started going to school, he would try and make excuses but I never allowed him to get away with it until and unless I’m sure he is really sick. As a mother, you must understand if she is truly sick or not. If she is not, you will have to handle her strictly. And yes, you will have to set an example yourself by rising early, much before her. You will have to admit that you don’t like it either but do it nonetheless coz we all have our duties and responsibilities just as she has her own. Going to school is her duty, her job in the family (just as we adults have our jobs too) and like it or not, she has to do it. You can let her sleep over a little on weekends and holidays
1 person likes this
@cikedo (3486)
• United States
6 Jan 09
My younger brother tried to pull that exact same thing today. He has played sick a few times and my mother doesn't take him seriously anymore. He ended up going to school today and vomiting. It's the classic case of the little boy who cried wolf.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jan 09
I have never run across this when my child was at home. He is grown now and has a family of his own. Maybe giving her a incentive might work. Since you say it is just because she is not a morning person. Does she go to bed at a good hour at night. Sometimes all it takes is to get the child in bed early enough so that they get a good nights sleep. Just a thought.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
7 Jan 09
My son has tried that a few times before. It is usually because of kid picking on him or bothering him at school or on the bus. Hopefully you can figure out what it is that is making her fake sick so you can get it taken care of.