do you prefer a democratic or autocratic parents?

Philippines
January 5, 2009 8:58pm CST
i want to start my own family someday and i was thinking what will be the best way in disciplining children, will it be helpful if it will be autocratic or democratic?
3 responses
• United States
7 Jan 09
Parents really need to be both. Kids need to know that what they want matters because they matter. So they should have some input, some voice in what's going on from the time they are very little. But want they want shouldn't always dictate what is going to be. That only makes for a spoiled bratty child. An example of being democratic when they are little is letting them choose what they will wear. If you're going someplace that they need to be dressed up, give them several choices of what's appropriate to wear and let them pick from those rather than from everything they have. It gives them a little control and by letting them choose they are learning to make good choices while you guide them. On the other hand sometimes you need to be autocratic. It's great to explain to kids why you are telling them to do or not do something because they learn from your explaination. However they need to learn to obey without explaination as well. It can literally save their lives. For example when my oldest son was three we were coming out of the grocery store. He spotted our car and began to run to it. We yelled "Stop" and he did stop. If he hadn't because he needed to know why first then he would have been hit by a car. F
• Philippines
11 Jan 09
i agree, parents should be both. guide them lovingly and you will have harmonious relationship.
@jimmysun (401)
• China
6 Jan 09
Hi donnakristel, Well, for me I like democratic parents more than autocratic parents. Coz parents behavior can infective their children: if the parents are democratic and so they will get along with everyone, so their children do and vice-versa. If one day I have my babies I like to be a democratic father.:-)
• Philippines
11 Jan 09
well, good luck to your mylot. yes, one goal of the family is to get along with everyone.
@spoiled311 (5502)
• Philippines
6 Jan 09
hi donnakristel! well, i think i would like a little of both. parents and kids should have open communications and both parties should be considered. however, in the light of assuming that parents know better, i think that the last say would come from the parents. but it should not be without a dialogue, especially in major decisions. my parents have been more autocratic in their dealings with us, when they were raising us. i know they have tried to be the best parents, but i would also like them to be able to listen without making judgements. sure they do listen, but well, sometimes, i just think that it doesn't get through them. anyway, i am going to be a parent soon myself and i am also studying on how to raise up my baby well to be a God-fearing adult with very little if not angst. hehe okay, gotta go! take care and God bless you! :-)
• Philippines
11 Jan 09
yes, i think a balance parent will be good..it will balance your relationships. good luck to your child! and enjoy!