Does it bother you?

@messageme (2821)
United States
January 10, 2009 2:13pm CST
When you have friends that start tons of discussion a day, but not once do they ever respond to anyone else's discussions? I answer all discussions my friends start, unless I have no clue of what they are talking about. To me I would consider that a helpful friend. I like when people return that friendship. I have two friends that don't respond to NO ONEs discussions, but they start the max. they can in a day. How do you feel about this? It somewhat bugs me, but then I really don't know why I even worry about it. I want to ask them their reason behind it, but I dont want them to take it the wrong way and think I am being mean. I don't want to be. I am just curious why people start discussions, but won't respond to any. I am just starting to think if the want responses then they should make the effort to respond to others. Part of me thinks they are being selfish. Thinking only what they have to say is important, but no one eles's discussions are important to them. Is this right? How do you feel about it?
3 people like this
12 responses
• United States
10 Jan 09
I try to respond to as many discussions as I can sometimes my friends discussions do get over looked. I am still new and learning. Sometimes there a re so many good discussions that I want to participate in but I loose them in the mix of all the others and sometimes just forget what I am doing. I am usually doing 30 things all at once lol. Any way I don't think that any one would think you are being mean just asking a question is all. I don't find what you said as being mean. I think you make a very valid point. I mean is there a reason for it? Do they make more money that way or what I too would like to know. Thanks for the discussion. Happy my lotting.
2 people like this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
10 Jan 09
I know what you mean about getting lost when posting to so many discussions. I have found many interesting discussions, but when I post to one I lose the other one I wanted to post to also! I know it is just a question, but I have asked someone a question before and they were very rude to me! Sadly the question was about an how do you know if your allergic to something and they got really mad at me and was being rude! I like to learn new things, but I think I asked the wrong person for me to learn something! So now I try not to make things personal by asking a specfic person a question, but to ask it in general to see if anyone else may know the answer. Thanks for sharing!!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56730)
• Delhi, India
11 Jan 09
You right, we do expect our friends to respond to our discussions, specially when we regularly contribute to their discussions. It is understandable that it may not be possible for each friend to respond to each of our discussions, but say if they respond to at least out 5 out 10 discussions, we will feel satisfied. If I notice that someone is not responding to my discussions, when I am regularly contributing to hers/his, I gradually stop responding to her/his discussions. It is a two way traffic, I believe. (Pl. do not take it otherwise, if I do not respond to your any of your discussions, it may be due to so many factors, but I'll try my best to respond)
2 people like this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
11 Jan 09
I guess I don't worry about how many of my discussions my friends respond to just so long as I get responses. But yes I do believe it is a two way and if they are not only not going to respond to mine but to no one else's either then I don't think people should give them the satisfaction of answering to theirs. I thought about stop responding to their discussions, but I thought that was rude of me because they are my friends and that is just what I do respond to my friends discussions. It just bugs me they don't respond to no one elses. thanks for your reply, makes me feel I am not the only one that feels this way.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56730)
• Delhi, India
12 Jan 09
I agree with your views. You are right, we cannot be rude to our friends, if we like their discusions, we go for reply, irrespective of the fact, whether they are coming to our discussions or not.
1 person likes this
@thorgrym (677)
• United States
10 Jan 09
I guess that some people start discussions in hopes that they will get a lot of responses and generate some earnings here. Maybe they feel that they will be better off by starting multiple discussions rather than participating in other people's discussions. I am not terribly active on myLot, so I may not be the best person to answer this question. I won't participate in a discussion (nor will I start one) just for the sake of posting, though. Unless I have something to say on a topic, I will generally remain silent. It does bother me, though, when people seem to be doing things like this just to boost their earnings. When money is the primary goal as opposed to a meaningful, lively discussions, nobody wins. I would rather people respond to discussions after giving some thought to the topic or not respond at all.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
10 Jan 09
I am the same way. Usually you can tell if someone has put some thought into it or if they are just randomly going through and saying whatever just to earn a few more sense. I also enjoy more when it is a lively discussion, makes it more interesting and fun! Thank you for your response!
@messageme (2821)
• United States
10 Jan 09
OOPs! I ment cents, not sense!
@mgmagana (3621)
• United States
11 Jan 09
i don't really care, i prefer to respond rather than start my own, and most of my discussions are regarding days of our lives the soap opera, so i don't expect my friends to reply to those unless they watch it.
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
11 Jan 09
It's good to hear we have many active posters! thanks for sharing! I actually use to watch days of our lives all the time, but I haven't watched it in the last couple years. How's it going? Probably lots of new people on it, huh
@kttribal (253)
• United States
11 Jan 09
well i like to post on discussions that my friends start if it has something to do with me. if not then i dont answer. i do post a lot of stuff here and im just starting to get the hang of the mix. personaly i would love to be able to post on all the discussions that my friends have it just seems like the list never changes. when there is a new post i like to add something. I perfere to add something of substance but i know that i dont always. I like to pay people back too if they post on my discussions by posting on theres. it helps because we both get paid. its just hard sometimes to find the new conversations.
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
11 Jan 09
I can be hard to find new conversation. Thats when you try to start one. I like when I hear people return the favor of answering to someones because they did it for them. I think that is a true friendship here on mylot! But we must always remember not everyone is here to make friends, some are simply here just to earn money.
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
11 Jan 09
Hi Me, I feel the same way. This is why I spend so much time interacting with my friends. How can you interact if you are the only one doing so? You have the choice to stop answering their posts. If they come to you and ask why, then tell them. If they don't care about what anyone else has to say, turn them off or delete. There are so many good friends here that you don't have to worry about those who don't seem to care. Relax and enjoy. leenie
@messageme (2821)
• United States
11 Jan 09
Well I was in the middle of responding to you and then my son was messing with the cords and shut off computer. Now I don't eve remember what I said. I do remember saying I love getting replys from you, you seem like a very heart filled person and that shows through your replys! I did have the notify turned off from these people. I know there is many people out there looking for good friends and I will spend more of my time with them than the ones that arn't looking for that. Thanks a million for your response!
@ajrox1810 (992)
• India
11 Jan 09
Hi, Today's world and generation, both are really selfish and do not care about anything. They just add people as a friend so that they can get an extra response or two, and they have come at myLot to earn, neither to learn nor to listen. So they just keep posting without caring who is responding and how he/she is responding. They just want to keep earning. Regards, AJ-Rox
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
11 Jan 09
That is one thought that I also had. Which I guess they do have the right to be here just to earn. Personally that is the main reason I even signed up for mylot, but after the first day of being here my perspective changed and I actually enjoyed being here because of all the new things I learn. Sometimes I feel like I have helped someone. Thanks for sharing your response, it does make really good sense.
1 person likes this
@Jaj_sahi (153)
• India
11 Jan 09
I really feel bad if I don't get a response. I try my level best to respond to at least one unanswered question a day. I feel this is one way of helping people who are really waiting for an answer. I make it a point to read what discussions my frnds have started and answer them genuinely unless I don't have an answer.But at the end of the day, you will definitely expect an answer from your FRNDS. It counts a lot to anyone. I don't want to tag anyone as being selfish. Its just that they might have been too lazy to reply.
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
11 Jan 09
Yes I could have used the wrong word for it. I have always anwered my friends discussion first then I will go through and answer to those that are interest to me. I just think if you are going to start tons of discussions, you should at least make it a point to reply to someones at least once in a while. thanks for sharing!
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
11 Jan 09
this happen to me all the time i respond quite a lot to my friend list and people not on my friends list.if someone start a discussion sometimes i would even tell them if this are that i don,t know about.i went through my list of friends and the ones who do not are have not responded in more then 3 months iam deleting them.it,s clear they are not interested in discuss anything on mylot are they want you as a referral.are they want you to respond and they never respond to your discussion iam not in need of a friend like this.it works both way here.iam not expecting them to respond to everthing i write but at least try to respond to something.so just look at the bottom of the page of there page and see how long it been since that person login.
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
11 Jan 09
I know they log in everyday because I have them on notify and everyday my inbox is full with discussions they have started. It would be nice if they would respond to my discussions. I don't start that many though. But I have notice it's not only mine they don't respond too. It's everyones. I have searched into it and they have never responded to a single discussion! Yeah they don't seem much like friends if all they want is my response, but don't want to be active in anything else except for what they start. Thanks for responding!!
@jillhill (37379)
• United States
10 Jan 09
Most of my friends always respond to my discussions but if they start a ton of them I don't always answer theirs...if I really don't have anything to say in response then I let it go. I don't start alot of discussions and some of my friend do...I have had a few in the past that once you start answering their they no longer post on yours....I turn off their notify!
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
11 Jan 09
That is good they respond to you! I have thought about turning off the notify, but then I feel like I'm not being a very good friend. But it's not like they are being active towards anyone either so maybe I shouldn't feel so bad about it. Thanks for sgaring!
@KrauseHome (36752)
• United States
10 Jan 09
Personally I know I have always wondered how people can often only Start New discussions in here and never respond back to others. I personally could never think of that many New discussions to start in here for sure. I usually am Lucky if I start 10 New discussions usually in a week, and I am always trying to respond back to discussions that my friends have started in here. I also like to reward others who respond back to my discussions as I have time and read and respond back to one of their discussions in here as well, just to see what type of stuff they like to post in here as well.
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
11 Jan 09
Well you have me beat! I can't even think of 10 in a week! It sounds like you are a very active friend and I'm sure all your friends appreciate that. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
10 Jan 09
I can understand how you feel. However, I sometimes cannot answer everyone's responses. Sometimes there are just too many so I might just pick a few to answer to. Other times I will have time to answer them all. It all depends on what in going on in my house at the time.
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
10 Jan 09
That is completely understandable! But the people I am talking about don't respond ever to anyone eles's, but, hey, that could be there reason too! I don't know. I know there could be many reason, it just seems odd. Thanks for sharing!