"I Carry Myself Like A Victim"

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On Friday, I visited my old neighborhood in Mid-Town Los Angeles. This is where I lived for about four years total, with my oldest sister and her six children. Most of my friend's on Mylot know that I was robbed at gunpoint at that time. I will not go into detail, as I have before, but I will just say that I was badly traumatized from the experience. When I got home that day, I was screaming and crying. My brother-in-law who had recently moved back in, from his girlfriend's house, came downstairs to see what all the commotion was about. He made a statement that day, that popped back into my mind yesterday. He said that, "I carry myself like a victim." I kind of understood it when he said it, but it really made sense to me yesterday. I was coming to the shop where I use to get my hair done over there. But first, I needed to stop at the bank. Although, there is a bank right across that street from the shop, I like that one less than the Mid-town branch, so I went in to the one at Mid-town, to feel safer and because I needed to get some rolls of quarters for the bus. Ever since I got robbed, I hate to carry a large amount of money on me. The day that I got robbed, I had just cashed a check and apparently the guy had been watching my routine for a while. He even knew my name. When I was in the bank yesterday, I did my best to stall, until one guy who look suspicious left. Then I asked for what I needed. I hated to have to do it out loud. But if I had written it on a piece of paper, they would have thought I was attempting to hold them up. After I put my money in my(fanny pack)pouch, I look to the other side and there was another guy watching me. I got so spooked that I walked right out of the bank and jay-walked to get to the bus stop as soon as possible. But when I got there, I did not feel any better. The businesses behind me had been shut down for good and the area looked deserted. That is when I remembered what my old crooked brother-in-law said. So I started sitting like a dude and trying to make my face like I was mean and had had a hard life. I wanted to look as if I did not take no mess from anyone. I believe, I only managed to look totally retarded, especially, with my glasses on. I ran into some unsavory looking characters, but no one did me too much harm. Accept, when I got off the bus, there was a little ways to walk to the shop. This mentally ill lady was coming my way. She was yelling at people that were not there. She even pointed at this little school girl and was yelling in her direction. She scared the little girl pretty good, but I do not even think that she was aware that the girl was there. As the lady walked, every now and then, she would stop and start swinging out at the air. I managed to pass her unharmed, but as soon as I did pass her, she turned around and started following behind me. I wasn't so much afraid of her, I just did not want her to get beside me and start swinging. So the only way to avoid that, was to keep some distance between us and she was walking very fast. I do not believe that she was after me, but because she was flailing her arms, I had to walk twice as fast as her. Because of that, the stress, and the heat, I started having an asthma attack. I was so happy when I got in the shop with all those men, I did not know what to do. It was a very tiring day, but my hair came out pretty nice, so I guess it was worth it.