what should I do

China
January 16, 2009 6:23pm CST
I'm 26 years old.I have a girlfriend for 3 years.Our feelings is fine.In a meeting,I recognize her best girlfriend M.H.Quickly,we become a good friend.we often play together,she is beautiful and lovely girl.I like her very much but don't love her because I even have girlfriend. But a few days ago,I make a big mistake.That night,I completed a major project.I'm very happy,So invite her to celebrate together,my girlfriend is not to participate because she is in the other city.We drink a lot of wine.After,we have make love.The next day I have know she is the virgin.she tell me she love me,want to married to me.I regret very much,In fact,I also love her,but I also love my girlfriend.Now my girlfriend don't konw this thing.M.H also don't tell this thing to others. I don't know how to deal with this mather.I hope it will not hurt any girl.They are kind-hearted!
3 people like this
21 responses
@Haloman (122)
• United States
17 Jan 09
wow man you are in a bad situation i tell you. either way one of the tow of them will be hurt if not both of them so you really need to think about what you did and who you want to be with nd be honest with both of them.....good luck dude
1 person likes this
• China
17 Jan 09
thank you for your advice.I want to think more time.Now I am not clear.
• India
17 Jan 09
just gobble up the incident and be cool.
@sunita64 (6469)
• India
17 Jan 09
The way you have had good times with the friend of your girlfriend shows that you are somehow that you are not in love with your existing girlfriend. It seems to be over.When you start hiding facts from your girlfriend means it is time to review your feelings so it is best that you analyse yourself first and come to a decision.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4718)
• Germany
17 Jan 09
Sounds to me like you lost your girl friend. You choose to have SX with another. And she was a virgin??? Maybe she is pregnant, and then? You made your bed, you sleep in it. To bad for your relationship, even if you don't tell her. It will never be the same. You will be haunted by a guilty consense. Good Luck
@Margajoe (4718)
• Germany
17 Jan 09
Me complicated? I am not the one that complicated your life. You did very well on your own. But don't worry, I am just very direct. I cannot help anyone in your situation, if I am going to be softhearted. And I do hope you sort things out. I still feel sorry for those girls. But I am happy I don't have a so called best friend, who acts like that. She was wrong too. Not only you. Believe me, I mean well. Take care.
@Margajoe (4718)
• Germany
17 Jan 09
Oops, I thought I was writing to showxjn. Well anyway, you now what I mean. hahaha!
• China
17 Jan 09
i am sorry to hear that.what i want to say to you is you must take responsibility for the thing you do.you know the girl is virgin and you feel guilty about her,and i have a question,if she is not guilty,what's difference???you say like this is not responsible at all. i am a girl,if my boyfriend do this to me i will quicklly say goodbye to him.so choose which one you love and if the result is your exgirlfriend dont tell her,it is really hurt to girls and love her more than before.good luck!
• China
18 Jan 09
So I must take responsibility for this thing,I don't want to hurt any girls.thank you for you advice.
@smileonstar (4012)
• United States
18 Jan 09
wow, unbelievable... how could you do that? first of all, I am a woman, so it is hurt and it is really unthinkable and unbelievable. I haven't nothing to say beside to ask you to choose. I might turned to my best friend and say, you are a B***. well, I didn't mean that. The best thing for you is to tell your girlfriend the truth but you have to make your choice before you do that. i believe your girlfriend will be so angry at you and might be letting you go. it was your choice and it is still your choice,think about it. if you are choosing your girlfriend, then you should go n talk with M.H; tell her or make her feels that you can't choose her. Im sorry it is hard decision to make and you had chose this road to walk, then you have to complete it. Good luck to you
• United States
18 Jan 09
first of all you should have never invited the friend to celebrate alone in the first place,let along drink,knowing you kinda liked her. second no matter what u do u have really hurt your girlfriend that u claim to love. third you are just screwed. u better hope your girlfriend forgives u. oh and rather u tell her or not, the truth will come out, it always does. you better be a man and confess to her what you have done. if she hears it from someone else that will only make matters worse. i have been done this way and it was my best friend. im gonna tell you it hurt really bad so i hope you can at least think about your girl and not be stupid again that is if she stays with you. good luck cheater
• India
17 Jan 09
you must stay on with your existing girl friend cause thats what is good for you. since they both are friends both yours & m.h's reletionship will be spoiled if you start making love to m.h. it's best for you to stay at your position and be a good friend only m.h.hope you listen.
@robert19ph (4584)
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
hello showxjn, That is a really tough situation. You need a lot of thinking here. And you're the only one who can decide what is the right thing to do. But you must consider that you made love to the best friend of your girlfriend. Your girlfriend has the right to know about this. No matter how hard it is, you need to tell her as soon as possible than other people will tell to her. Whatever your decision, you'll hurt either of them. Hope your decision is right. Good luck to you.
• India
17 Jan 09
you are in a gig trouble as you know, its better you think whome do you love first, and you should tell your girlfriend this before se comes to know about the situation from some other person, best of luck.
• India
17 Jan 09
that's a very bad situation, but your girlfriend comes to know this from some other person you will be in more big trouble, so its better you tell her the truth, because it has to be done sooner or later, and think whome do you really love, best of luck !
• India
17 Jan 09
What should i write about it... You love to people at a time..dont you think that this is a very absurd thing.. Its better to be numb..n maintain silence.. Coz remember 1 thing"Silence and action speaks louder than words"
• United States
17 Jan 09
IF you don't tell your gf.. your other gf will! well, no matter how it's said.. it's not gonna be pretty! You know, I don't think you would have did what you did, if there wasn't some kind of feelings there to begin with.. a person doesn't cheat for no reason.. even drunk! tell your gf goodbye... don't leave the poor girl hanging.
@gracie04 (4554)
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
If i were in your shoes, i'd tell the present girlfriend about what happened.. it's really up to you whom to choose as you've said earlier, you love them both.. think over a thousand times before making your final decision..
• China
17 Jan 09
I think that you must make clearly whom you really love ,If you feel M.H is more important and then tell your girlfriend what had happened,if your girlfriend cann`t forgive you,you only to choose M.H. as a man please pay a attention to your action. Good luck man!
• United States
17 Jan 09
Hey Showxjn, What i suggest u should do is deffiently tell your girl that u cheated on her so u don't have a guilty conscious. Then if u still have feelings for her try to get her back , tell her your sorry and it won't happen again. but only if u love her and want her back. Cause if she finds out it will be 10 times worse for ya. At least if u tell the truth she might give ya another chance. And if u dont' love her and don' want to be with her anymore, tell her i'm sorry but i dont' have the same feelings i once did for u. That way u won't be selfish and she can move on with her life to.
@laydee (12809)
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
Oh no.. You should have thought of that before you did something like that. You knew you were attracted to that girl and yet you kept on calling on her. Whew! Foolish. Know what, all I can say is that they're both history. Thinking that either one of them would ever be with you would be a great mistake. That other woman is obviously infatuated and severely foolish because she knew you were committed. In the same way, your girlfriend trusted you with her whole heart and now you're breaking her heart. Anyhow, it's too late. Sooner that M.H. girl will tell everyone because she'd fight for you and eventually your girlfriend will know because they know each other. So, you got to decide. I'd say, leave them both. It's tougher for any one of them to see you with one of them. So, the best would just to say you're sorry for both of them and just leave their lives. Let them heal. It's better for them to think that you're a bad guy than to break two people you love at the same time. Plus, trust will be a major factor and regardless how much you patch things up. The issue will always return to haunt you. Good luck! Next time. Think once, twice, a million times. A girlfriend's friend, will always be a competitor, don't trust yourself with any other women if you are truly committed.
@Sissygrl (10914)
• Canada
17 Jan 09
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you will prob loose one of them if not both of them.. the friend is going to tell i'm willing to bet, and if she doesnt' you hopefully will feel guilty enough to tell your girlfriend, and maybe if she loves you enough, she will work things out with you.
@nanayangel (7881)
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
Hi there Show! I am sorry to say this but you are in in deep mud of a situation. I think you better be a man and face the consequences of your action. Tell your girlfriend about what happened and decide what you will do next.
@alisha09 (20)
• Australia
17 Jan 09
hey mate i have been through the same as i was with my ex boyfriend for 3 years and i had a child to my ex i am now 27 years olds and i am married to my new parter and we have been going out for 4 years nw but it took me three years to get ova my ex because of my child blonde 4 life
• United States
17 Jan 09
Just tell your real girlfriend about it. She could deal with it. Or you can just tell MH something like its not gonna work out. Let her down slowly. Or tell her you are getting married with your real girlfriend.