Need your Advise..My niece is looking for her father
By pulangpluma
@pulangpluma (334)
Philippines
January 16, 2009 8:32pm CST
Just this morning i felt sorry for my 6yr old niece. She is tearfully asking for her father who my sister has never seen since they broke up (prior to the pregnancy). My niece has never met her father. This is not the first time she asked about him and we always tell her the truth. We also care enough not to badmouth the father so as not to make him look bad.
But this morning is a little different. She was studying and saw the word "father". That is how she started to ask again. I was broken-hearted to see her tearful as if none of our explanation works to make her feel better. What should we do?
3 responses
@etavasi (749)
• Malaysia
17 Jan 09
I felt sorry about your 6 year old niece. Maybe you can try make her happy by buying something that she like. Talk different stories until she forget about it. Sometimes telling the real story will help too so she can understand from right now until she grow up.
@pulangpluma (334)
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
Thank you very much. Yes, we will bring her out to cheer her up. :) It seems to be working
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
17 Jan 09
All you can do is continue to tell her thr truth. If her mother feels that attempting to contact the father would be the right choice, she should do so. If there are reasons that she feels it would do more harm than good, she should not do it. This little girl is at a tender age where she sees other kids with theirfathers and she hears her pears talk about their fathers too. At her age, her mother is the one who has to make the decision as to whether it would be agood idea to attempt to contact the father or not. Whatever her choice is, it should be what is best for the little one. If she grows up not knowing her father, she ma decide to try to find him later in life herself. By not bad-mouthing him, you are all doing the right thing. This will allow her to form her own opinion of him if/when the day comes that she does meet him.
@pulangpluma (334)
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
Thank you very much. We are careful. There was this one time that we talked to her teacher because they would be discussing about the family. A day before we told her about her situation and we were relieved to find out that the teacher is aware and is sensitive to the issue as there are other students like her. I really wish, as she grows up, those around her would be the same. As I have a friend once who has some severe personal issues because she was told that being illegitimate child is a shameful thing.
@irishidid (8688)
• United States
17 Jan 09
At this point I would do nothing. I understand she wants this father, but she doesn't appear to be emotionally mature enough to handle possible rejection. Does this man know she exist? If he does it would seem clear where his priorities lie.
@pulangpluma (334)
• Philippines
17 Jan 09
yes, the father know she existed. I am not sure though what he and my sister have agreed. I think my sister told him that he should be sure first what his role would be in her life if he would see her. I think what my sister don't want to happen is he would introduce himself as the father and then disappear. Thank you for responding.
