What's age got to do with this?

Malaysia
January 18, 2009 3:28am CST
A few weeks ago, i tried to match one of my girlfriend to one of my male friend. After having a long conversation on the phone with my male friend about this girl, he finally pop up a question. He asked me about the girl age. So, i told him that she's 32yo. After pausing for a few seconds, he finally said, ' No thank you, i'm 33yo and she's 32, she's too old for me.If the girl around 25yo, i might consider'. I was really mad at him about it and up till now i did not make any effort to speak to him. Was i being unreasonable on this matter?
7 people like this
20 responses
@zhangrui (13)
• China
19 Jan 09
The man is too realistic. One year difference in age maybe can generate some conception difference, but it doesn't matter, isn't it? Love also can be created between a old lady and a young man. But your male friend seems to get a common failing of men, they like young and beautiful girl. This is normal, so don't be too mad. Tell him how wonderful your girlfriend is, try to persuade him to know the girl more. Be confident on your girlfriend's charm,and a love story will continue~~~ Bless them
2 people like this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
19 Jan 09
Do you really think it is wise of her to push this relationship on to him? what about the girl's feelings here? I think, considering how he feels about the age that she should just tiptoe out of the matchmaking business.
• China
19 Jan 09
People get to know each other from zero. At beginning, they judge people from appearance, clothing, height, weight, age, and such, then put them in various frames defined by themselves. 100% right person for your frames didn't exist and won't exist, if you don't want to lead an isolated life, you must desert some frames. Encouraging your male friend to receive fresh concept, if he expresses too narrow-minded, and doesn't want a change, you can stop. For your girl friend, I don't think a subjective judgement would affect her much. With 32 years old, she should know her own charm very well. Both of them are your friends, think about their nature, and assess whether they have the potential to be other's Mr./Mis. Right, them decide whether to help them or just let them be.
@2oldn2ys (64)
• United States
19 Jan 09
You should have told him that no 25 year old wants a 33 year old. I didn't when I was that age!!!
2 people like this
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
18 Jan 09
No, you are not unreasonable for offering to match him with a nice partner. It seems to me that he might at least have met her to see how they got on, so, in a way, he is the one being 'unreasonable' - or at least, not open to opportunity. Well, that's his loss! It's his choice, too, of course, so there's no reason to be mad at him, really. I don't think he was being intentionally rude. You made him a proposition which he turned down. That's all. Sometimes things people do hurt us more than they should because we feel that we have made an effort for them but they don't perceive it like that. We feel that they ought to appreciate the effort we made more than they do but everyone is different. When you analyse it, it is not that they hurt us, it is we that hurt ourselves by expecting more from them than we had a right to do.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Jan 09
I think you were being a good friend tryig to set up your two friends. I think the problem is'nt as much your guy friend wanting a younger woman as it is society making him believe thats what he needs. Because our society seems to put this idea in peoples head as to what will make us truely happy. Every time you watch something on tv it seems its about older men and younger more attractive women. Take for example the "reality" show rock of love with Brett Micheals, Now here is a guy in his 40's parading around with a bunch 20 somethings. No offensive to your friend but unless he's a rock star with alot of cash 25 yr.olds are'nt gonna be following him around. But with all fairness you should wish him luck in finding love and only try to match make with people who truely are trying to find a realistic match.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
20 Jan 09
I do agree on your comment on this...:), especially on the 'Rock Star' things. Nevertheless, i haven't lost hope on him yet, just letting myself blow all my steam out first.
• United States
18 Jan 09
I'm not really sure why or how people think the way they do about their possible love interests. I don't know what everyone's standards are based on as far as what they look for. I do know quite well the superficial standards that people can go by. Are they pretty? Are they handsome? Are they skinny? Are they fat? Are they rich? Are they poor? And, in this case, are they old? But what I cannot figure out is why someone would think an individual that is one year younger than them would be "old." I think if I were you I might have been a little irritated. You are trying to do something nice for your friend, and even though they said "thank you," he was really say "no thanks." I might have said, well if you think she's old then that theoretically makes you OLDER. Of course, sarcasm and such wittiness might not help. People are just brought up differently though, and although it's not always their fault why they think a certain way, it's always best to just walk away or let them be who they are. I think you have handled the situation well.
2 people like this
• China
19 Jan 09
Hi,friend.I think that everyone has his own idea that we should not to force others.In fact,most of men prefer a younger girl as his girfriend or wife.Just as a girl wants a older man as her boyfriend or husband,too.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
19 Jan 09
I personally don't see anything wrong with the age difference. He obviously goes for much younger girls...that is who he is and he was just being honest with you. I don't see the need for you to be angry at him or to end your friendship. We are all different in our attractions. I don't play matchmaker for any of my friends as I don't want to be at all involved in that sort of stuff. You asked so I am going to be honest with you....yes, I do think you were being unreasonable....now go make peace with your friend.
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
25 Jan 09
maybe younger girls are usually better looking. he probably doesnt want anyone close to his age because he feels old, and therefore she will also look old. maybe he wants a young girl to feel young. men usually want a young girl to have fun reproducing more offspring with her.
@kissie34 (2294)
• Philippines
19 Jan 09
I don't get it actually.. Your friend is 33 years old and the girl is 32, right?? He's still 1 year older than the girl so how come that the girl is too old for him?? I know that older people say that girls are more matured than boys but of course it really depends to the development of a girl.. We all know that not all of us were acting or suppose to behave on our age because there are some people even they are already in the age of adulthood, they mental development were still as if in the adolescence age.. Maybe, your friend has his own traits, like and dislikes about a girl.. He likes to be with girls whose younger 5 years or more to him.. Maybe, that's his ideal age whom he wants to spend his time.. But for me he is unreasonable since he didn't gave you much clearer explanation why he don't like your girlfriend.. Anyway, you can't do anything about it but to accept his views and likes about a girl since he is the one who is dealing to be with that girl..
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
19 Jan 09
hmmm...i cant say if u're being unreasonable on this matter, because maybe u have a different opinion about age differentiation, maybe for u age is not a matter. but..he's different, maybe he has his own specification for female and u cant objection bout it coz its his right. my suggestion..i think u better make up with him again, or u might lose one of ur friend just because a simple reason that u cant change it. good luck qaseh =)
1 person likes this
@Zezloler (497)
• United Arab Emirates
18 Jan 09
I don't think you were being unreasonable at all. Your intention was to help out a friend and there's no bad intentions in that. I think that that's his problem now and if I were you, I would continue talking to him, as he's your friend, of course, but I don't think I would make any further effort to get him a nice girl. I don't think it's your job to matchmake for him, because obviously if he has very specific expectations (like a certain age he wants the girl to be) then you won't be of any help. I would just let him find someone for himself now. I also don't think that a year's difference is that much, actually I think it's normal. If she was older than him then maybe I would consider his request reasonable, but she wasn't and from what you said he didn't even get to meet her in person or speak to her. o_o Weird on his part. I would let him handle his future related matters himself.
1 person likes this
@savengt (89)
• Singapore
23 Jan 09
He has his own preference. What you can do is to talk to him and understand why?
@lizmeek (31)
• United States
18 Jan 09
I don't think you are being unreasonable. He should met the girl first before judging about her age. I know to many people that were in their 30's and wanted someone older because of their maturity. It would really hurt my feelings that he said that because who to say that the younger girl could be very immature and wants to party to much. It could be that the guy is wanting a young girl so he can feel younger or he didn't enjoy his life in the 20's, but bottom line you weren't unreasonable. I don't guys 5 years older than me and younger than me. I don't base on their age I base it on how they treat me and their personality.
1 person likes this
@tess99 (17)
• China
19 Jan 09
In my opinion the age between boy and girl is not a serious problem. If they fall in love, they will not care about the age, just care about the true love between them. What is more,your friend has not met with the girl just talk about the age. I think you are no necessory to introduce the girl friend for him.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 09
I honeslty don't see why people have a problem with thier relatonship ages I mean I could see a problem with like a 86 year old man dating maybe a 19 year old lady but a couple years difference..no..I believe ag is just a number I mean don't get me wrong i'm 16 and I would never date anybody who's half my age but thats just a personal situation because I believe that me being 16 and date a 13 year old he's gonna be lacking maturity while on the other hand I'm gonna be wanting a seriouse relationship. So my relationships aren't really based on age it's based on the maturity and seriousness but I have no clue on why people have a fit over the age. Being unreasonable? well hmm thats a hard decison it depends on how you look at the situation unreasonable because well no offince but you can't get mad at your friend for their own beliefs but then reasonable because you were just tryin to help and he could have givin it a try.
@magojordan (3252)
• Philippines
19 Jan 09
I think it's all about the preferences of each person. It really depends on how the person is planning to have a relationship and of course it involves the age of someone. Since it is a matter of personal choice I think you should try to understand him.
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
18 Jan 09
I think you were not being unreasonable.. the problem is on his part.. i mean, the woman is just a year older than him so why did he consider her as too old? yay! maybe, i'd accept his excuse if the woman is 10 years older than him but it isn't! i just don't get it..
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
18 Jan 09
I don't think that you were being unreasonable about it at all. I'm sure that this guy friend of yours is not perfect, and the fact that he judges someone based on her age is wrong. Just because your other friend is 32 doesn't mean anything. I bet sheis a really fun person to be with. As far as I am concerned it's his loss and I don't blame you at all for being made at him!
• Chile
18 Jan 09
Well I find it rather strange, I mean I could understand if the girl was a lot younger or older but she´s the perfect age for him. Sounds like a bit of a pig anyway so maybe it´s best for that girl.
• United States
18 Jan 09
No you did not make an un reasonable choice....He was being unreasonable by not giv ing her a chance... Most men would want a girl there own age because theres less complic ations and problems to deal with... For him not to give her a chance because shes only 1 year younger ten him not 10 thats a stupid choice on his behalf... most the time a girl dating a guy that much older then them there looking for something....cash...and someone to support them i thin k you were thinking they way anyone would think...you wanted to help out a friend but he was unthankful