Do you have regrets or think "What if"?

Canada
January 20, 2009 7:59pm CST
Do you have regrets or do you believe that everything happens for a reason. I think i beleive everything happens for a reason I may have moments of regrets but as time passes from the situation i was regretting and I look back on it and think about what has happened as a result of that event i start to believe everything happens for a reseaon. What do you all think do you have regrets or think "what if" or do you believe everyhthing happens for a reason?
6 people like this
29 responses
@gbolly54 (661)
• Nigeria
21 Jan 09
While I believe that everything happens for a reason by way of destiny, at least to give myself a psychological consolation, I still do regret certain actions I take which produce undesired results, or which produced the intended results that have turned out to be undesirable. It is idealistic to belief that some humans have developed to a level where they don't express or feel regrets. Any normal human who claims to have attained that level is an impostor. With all sense of humility and reverence, I daresay Jesus Christ himself felt some sense of regret when he was asking if God could let the burden pass over him while nailed to the cross. Otherwise, he ought to have remained silent in the belief that what he was experiencing was his destiny that had to be fulfilled. In real life, everybody feels or expresses regrets ("had I known") because things happen contrary to our expectations.
• Canada
21 Jan 09
I feel that it is possible for a human to live with out regrets, but not wishout what ifs. Now I am not saying I have never regretted anything because I have and I proboply will again. However I am saying that because i have faith and believe that we all have a plan, that everything happens for a reason, the regret that i feel is only temporary and if quicly replaced with understanding or hope for somehting different or "better" for my future.
@gbolly54 (661)
• Nigeria
22 Jan 09
Maybe you are right... if "regret" connotes constantly brooding over the past (a form of crying over spilled milk) while "what if" connotes occasionally remembering the past and wondering how the present would be had the past held the way we had wished it. Thank you for the opportunity to brainstorm.
• United States
21 Jan 09
I do. And the older I get, the more I have. When I was a senior in college I was offered a position as a Leadership Consultant for my sorority. I talked to one of the ladies who was doing it that year and she said, "You don't get offered that position. If you got offered, it is because someone at Nationals nominated you very highly." So it was a huge honor, apparently. At the time, I was engaged to a guy who lived in a different state, 800 miles away. We were planning to move in together after I graduated. And I hate living out of a suitcase...so I turned down the position. And we broke up a month after I had to have my paperwork turned in. Currently, I am in the process of applying to graduate school and really wish I had done this five years ago when I was a senior instead of now.
1 person likes this
• Canada
21 Jan 09
Yes I totally understand that but now think of these things...What have you done in the last five years that you may not have done if you had gone then? Have you met a really good freind? Travelled somewhere, seen something you wouldnt have been able to see? Or learned lessons that you believe are importand or shaped who you are today, or maybe you dont see any of the positives yet, perhaps they will happen now when you startt this new chapter in your life but in the meantime who have had expereinces that you would not have had otherwise!
@sammy009 (259)
• United States
21 Jan 09
I think we all have regrets. I know i do, I could have went to college, but no I decided i would get married and have my daughters early in life. Do not get me wrong i do not regret having my daughter. Just whished i would have went to college, to late now. Oh well, cannot turn back the hands of time. There was that song, a verse in it regrets i had a few. Name of song i did it my way. Well that came to my mind when i thought of regrets.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
21 Jan 09
I have regrets in my life. I have left one very good job in a not so bad company. It was giving me Rs 10,000.00 per month and I was happy there. I left that company because of my foolishness. I thought I have enough talent and I can join a big company. I did join but becuase of the global Recession, I was kicked out of that company! So, I do regret that decision!
1 person likes this
• Canada
21 Jan 09
I can understand that but as time goes by maybe you will get a better job, or because of this descission you will go some where you may not have gone, or meet someone you may not meet who knows, life has a funny way of kicking us when were down, but with the right attitude and perspective we are always able to overcome it and move on
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@sanuanu (11235)
• India
26 Jan 09
Well, days go by and we learn how to fight. I am just new to this kind of fight. I hope that I will start my life again!
@artaucan (97)
• United States
21 Jan 09
It´s very easy to say that everything happens for a reason, specially when we are the ones responsibles for whatever it is that is happening, because the truth of the matter is that everything we have is a result of what we´ve done, there´s a reaction to our actions, we have woked hard to achieve goals, nobody gave them us and we get all the credit for that, we have the power and the strength to do whatever we want in live to make it worthy or ignored, we also make mistakes and we must take responsabilities for them, and these are the ones that I have regrets for, some of them have left a mark on my life impossible to erase or even fix.
1 person likes this
• Canada
21 Jan 09
Your right everything that we is a result of something else that we do, we do make our own life by the choices we make . How ever I believe that when we make a mistake, a descission that maybe wasnt so wise, that is because it is in our over all plan. I do take responsibility for my actions and my mistakes however i dont regret them, because every choice i have made in my past was mine to make but I also believe that all these choices have made who I am today and that I would never regret, therefor I do not regret any mistake or decission I have made.
• Philippines
21 Jan 09
I always believe everything happen for a reasons, it has purpose, it may not clear for me or I may not understand why it happened, there are just certain things no matter how we tried, there's obstacles in my way-standing between me and the things I want. Of course, I am always positive, and just give my best, and just have faith in myself that I believe in. Lack of faith in yourself makes it almost impossible to overcome troubles. I can't solve problems, no matter how, I must not afraid of the future otherwise future certainly will black. So, I just take one step at a time. It's not how you fall, but its how you get up...
• Canada
21 Jan 09
Wow what a great comment some very inspiration words, lol you should write hallmark cards! But your right you dont always no why things happen sometimes they just do and you have to be positive and more on and eventually the reason for the events in your life will all make sense! And you cant be afraid of the future you have to take things one day at a time because who knows when you only have one day left so you have to take every day for granted and live it like it was your last!
• Trinidad And Tobago
21 Jan 09
I like to think that if i make a decision, it is the best one I could have made at the time.. Sometimes we make mistakes and tend to regret doing things.. I have few regrets but I am learning that I cant change the past so I have to do my best in the future.. N we may not see it at the time, but everything does happen ffor a reason.. Once you believe it, there's be lesser regrets in anyone's life. But it's hard not so? I gues that's where faith and belief comes in.. It jus makes us stronger..
1 person likes this
• Canada
21 Jan 09
Thats so true, you sometimes have to actually look for the positives of a bad decision or mistake, they dont always jump out at you it has alot to do with how you think of it and how hard you look for them, but if you look they are their. I agree if you have faith and hope in something anything life will be easier, and you will be stronger.
• Canada
21 Jan 09
i used to have so many regrets but i cannot go back to change them but i can learn from them and keep moving forward to become a better me
1 person likes this
• Canada
21 Jan 09
absolutely you cant change things so why let it bring you down, get up brush yourself off and move on, learn, and grow from them and make yourself better I think that all these things happen for a reason to make each of us who we are and without then we would not be who we are. by the way i like your name how fitting for conversation!! lol
• United States
21 Jan 09
I do believe that everything happens for a reason but I have still wondered what if a thousand times and I have many many regrets that if I had a chance to do over I would change how I did it. My life has turned anything but what I imagined it would and have often wondered where I would be if I had chosen to take the path I wanted to in life. I don't dwell on it though since I know that there has to be a reason and I wouldn't trade my two kids for the world and if I had gone off to the college I wanted to I never would have had them.
1 person likes this
• Canada
21 Jan 09
Same here i had my son very young, which usally isnt good but i feel it was suppose to happen I am still with his father and because we had him young after high school, I went to collage online, his dad has been working at the same place for 8 years now we were able to buy our first house and were only in your early 20's. If my son had not been born Im sure out lived would be much different and I like my life just fine!
@raynejasper (2324)
• Philippines
21 Jan 09
.. i do have regrets.. sometimes, i would tell myself that had I done like this, i should have been like that.. sometimes, we do things which when we realize, it should have been done the other way.. however, life must go on.. we should not be depressed by the wrong decisions that we've made.. we may regret, but we should not give up.. still, i believe that everything happens for a reason.. i teach myself to be positive.. and I do my best to look at the bright side of what I did..
1 person likes this
• Canada
21 Jan 09
Me to like moments where you question but then you move and look on the bright side of your actions, or what you have to look forward to being optimistic is the only way one can actually enjoy thier life i think.
@cher913 (25865)
• Canada
21 Jan 09
i think something like this is always normal because you always wonder what would of happened if you would have done this instead of doing that. every one wonders what the grass is like on the other side of the fence.
1 person likes this
@ShellyB (5243)
• United States
21 Jan 09
I believe the reason for something that happen in our lives is based on choices and decisions we took, there are things we have no control over, but as time goes by, they become less and less. I have a few regrets, but I am not thinking what if, these regrets are part of the past, I am focusing on what I can do today.
1 person likes this
@njblair (230)
• China
21 Jan 09
I have regrets when I miss the opportunity,sometimes."What if " is a regret which do not come true.I think there is no pill of regrets.So I always looking before I leap.It can help me aviod making mistake. I agree with you .I believe that everything happens for reason.I think,What we can do is not only regrets,but also find a method and learn something from it. Good luck and happy mylotting!:-)
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5483)
• United States
21 Jan 09
I have always believed things happen for a reason. At times that reason may not be clear when the event is taking place, but as you stated, after time has passed. I also think that with major changes in our lives, it is a stepping stone, from one part of our life to the next, what is to come. I think it is just human nature to think 'what if', but I can honestly say, I don't have any regrets.
1 person likes this
• Belgium
21 Jan 09
always when i do something big, or buy something i think about what would happen if i did it otherwise. i also think that people think the worst of me, and that sort of stuff. sometimes its for days in my head, sometimes its gone after 2 hours or more
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
21 Jan 09
there are times when i have regrets and wonder about the question "what if" ..what if i've done things differently, this and that could have happened and stuff. but i guess that's what life is all about..we take chances/risk..and we learn from our choices/decisions and mistakes that we make..in some ways, i do believe everything happens for a reason although sometimes i cannot see/comprehend what it is so that makes it hard!
1 person likes this
@chelroe (28)
• Philippines
21 Jan 09
Before I used to have lots of regrets and "what ifs" but as I mature I could say that it has lessened. What I do now is strive do my best whenever possible and face every problem as mature as possible.I don't really agree that everything happens for a reason, I think we give reasons for everything that happens in our lives. These things go with maturity :).
1 person likes this
@becdmd (705)
• Philippines
21 Jan 09
Before I always tend to have regrets in making a wrong decision and blaming others, then I usually think of "what if's"...But in the end I felt like such a loser. But things changed when I started to grow as a person and as a chrisian, I've learned not to regret the mistakes or failures that happened in my life because it really happened for a reason...Yes, there is no such thing as coincidence, things happen according to God's plan and every decision you made has a purpose, it serves as a lesson or be a blessing in disguise for us to be a better person and learn not repeat the same mistakes again.(^_^)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Jan 09
I don't believe that things happen by accident everything has a reason and purpose and that is for us to learn from our past experiences. At time we look back on those experiences but life goes on. we can't sulk over what had happen on the past and dwell on the what ifs for we can't turn back the time what we can do is learn form the past mistakes and correct it in the present so that we will have a promising future. we have to get up when we stumble and try not to stumble again. hope this answer your question.
• United States
21 Jan 09
Yes, I regret going to that party when I was almost 21. If I hadn't of gone to that party, that man who raped me would not have done a thing to be. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
1 person likes this
@conbill (369)
• United States
21 Jan 09
I believe everything happens for a reason. It seems to me that when I look back on things I think I should regret I find the reason not to. I thought I regretted getting married, but then I wouldn't have had my four kids and six grandkids. I regretted getting divorced (even though It was a good decision on my part) but if I hadn't I wouldn't have met my soulmate. So as life goes on I have learned not to regret but to look forward to something better.
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