Would this bother you?

United States
January 21, 2009 6:16am CST
A couple days ago my husband came home from work with a red mark across his hand. When I noticed it I asked him where it came from, and he said a girl at work did it. Apparently this girl likes to mess around with everyone like this, and while he was on the phone making his calls to his customers, she snapped a rubberband on his hand playfully. Apparently this girl is only about 20 years old, and obviously very childish. She picks on the manager the most, and the manager picks right back. There's also a deliver driver she picks on, and he doesn't do much of anything about it. My husband told me one time the girl had managed to get him on the floor and taped his hands to his feet, so he was basically hog tied! Now, I remember being young and foolish, I know I used to mess around with people like that, even when I was at work... but from what I can remember, I only picked on the guys that I had small crushes on. Now my husband does have a playful side, when he's in the right mood, but he takes his work very seriously. He was really angry that she did this while he was on the phone with his customers. But other than that he didn't think anything of it. What would you think about this? Would you think this girl is trying to "flirt" with my husband, or is that just my own silly knee jerk reaction? Would you be upset if a girl were picking on your husband in such a way?
10 people like this
35 responses
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I never flirted with anyone in this fashion, even when I was single. So, I'd have to say yes, I'd be upset if I knew a girl at my husband's work was flirting with my husband. Though I'd be more upset if my husband flirted back, or worse yet, they took it to the next level. I hate to ask, but you said that you used to flirt with guys in a similar way that you had crushes on. Were any of these guys married, that you know of? And if they were how did any of the wives react to it? Did you even care? What's the difference between this girl flirting with the guys at work and you flirting back in the day?
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 09
I was wild back in the day, so I did flirt with married or "spoken for" men. I've even gone further than that. I can't make excuses for myself, it's just what I did. But I've done a complete 180. I grew up and now I'm very against things like that. And trust me, it's not just because it's my husband, it's bothering me that she's acting like this with the manager too, and he's also a married man. Granted if it goes any further than just playing around, I'll blame it all on the married guy and not on her, it was his choice to cheat on his wife. Part of the reason I don't like what she's doing is just because it's at work. Whether she's flirting or not, it's a place of business and they have customers, she should be acting a bit more professional.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 09
Life is a what? - Life is Just A Bowl Of Cherries!!! :-D
kats, Your response here exlains a lot! You used to do it to other women's men when you were younger, so now that you're older, it's being done to you! You get to experience this from BOTH sides! How fortunate you are!!!
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
21 Jan 09
It probably would bother me too. I guess though since she picks on everyone it probably is just how she is. I would think it were flirting if she just was doing it to your husband or to one guy at work, but since she is doing it to everyone I don't think it is so much flirting as just being annoying lol. I think hog tying your co workers is taking it a little to far lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 09
I don't know about the kid she hog tied, but I know the manager is definitly cute, and he has similar characteristics as my hubby. Both dark hair, about the same height and build (although the manager is thinner than my hubby), but I'm thinking it's possible this girl is just flirting with all these guys since I know at least 2 of them she's doing this to are definitly good looking. I don't know, maybe I am just being neurotic.
1 person likes this
@kareng (21140)
• United States
21 Jan 09
Ok, I misread the part about hog tying. I thought it was your hubby that she hog tied as well. Sorry!! I still say this is not acceptable behavior in the workplace :)
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
22 Jan 09
Well it seems the girl's nature is still a bit immature. I know that you have a reason to be concerned but on the other hand looking at all that you have said, I don't think she is much of a threat to your relationship as I can only guess that it is a force of habit she has and will probably fade away once she steps into the real professional life and that can take an indefinite period of time. However if you and your husband are disturbed then its probably wise to advise your husband to tell her in a professional and polite manner that he really doesn't enjoy all the pranks she pulls and would greatly appreciate it if she would stop pulling pranks on him. However if you both do decide that her pranks her harmless, then give her time and eventually she will get over it sooner or later. Perhaps she just likes to be the center of attention or create some kinda high school image. I really don't think she is after your husband as you have said that everyone is her target so I think no worries there. Cheer Up :)
• United States
22 Jan 09
Thanks for your response. Deep down I think you're probably right and it's probably not flirting. I guess I just get a little jealous although I have no reason to. My husband is oblivious to other women, and we have a very strong relationship.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 09
More Than Two Cents Maybe - Here is a picture of money that I used in a Power Point Presentation a few classes ago.
She's still a kid, but in a woman's body, with young woman hormones. She doesn't know what she's doing probably, she's just having fun. Apparently, her behavior is, despite what others have commented, fully acceptable in the workplace. The manager doesn't mind and it sounds like it's not a big deal to anyone else (including your husband) so nothing is done about it. If it bothers you, that's something you either need to get over (your husband's work and workplace are none of your business) or it's something you need to talk to him about and express your discomfort with the situation. So what if she's flirting with your husband? Ultimately, it's his choice as to wheter or not he's going to stray in your marraige and no, you can't control that. If you have a strong marraige, this random 20 year old shouldn't bother you and because it does, you need to seriously consider how much you really trust the relationship you're in. Just my two cents!!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 09
I fully trust my husband 100%, that is not the question. I know for a fact he is not at all happy about what this girl is doing, but he isn't an assertive person so won't speak up about it to others at work. He's been in situations with immature co workers before and knows to just deal with it. I on the other hand don't appreciate that she's goofing off and interrupting my husband's duties since she did this while he was on the phone with a customer. And our marriage isn't the type where what he does outside the home isn't any of my business. Every aspect of his life is my business, just as every aspect of my life is his business. We are not just two people who happen to share a house and bed and kids... we are a married couple, we share everything!
1 person likes this
@maddie007 (141)
• United States
21 Jan 09
I would be upset and that girl needs to be controlled. A workplace is a place of work not play and especially when you are on the phone with a customer. I would think that she was flirting if I found out a female hog tied my husband at work. However your husband has to put his foot down and tell her to stop if it really bothers him and you.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 09
She didn't hog tie my husband, it was another co worker.
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
21 Jan 09
I think it's both, it may be a silly knee jerk reaction but you're having that reaction because some girl is flirting with your man! This would bug me too, I admit that I have a bit of an unattractive jealous streak but I wouldn't be able to help but be irked. Also, the childish 'playing' is down right annoying on it's own. Hopefully her shtick will get old soon and other people at work will start getting annoyed by it. Have you ever seen the 'King of the Hill' episode when Ben Stiller guest stared as the obnoxious co-worker? Hopefully this will end the same!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 09
I like King of the Hill, but missed that episode. I did tell hubby that it bothered me, so he'll watch for it in the future. I also hope it will either get old or she'll get fired. They have a new regional manager who's firing people left and right! Might be a good sign.
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10914)
• Canada
21 Jan 09
I think it'd bother me. . I would start asking if she's ever done anything else to him and is it EVERYONe or just the few you mentioned.. I guess there is nothing you can do about it anways if she is doing those things to the manager too he obviously doesn't care. . maybe you should talk to some of the other females in his office and see if they tell you anything more.. or maybe they are disgusted by it also and you could help them out by getting her fired through a head office or something. good luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 09
There's only 1 other girl that works there, and apparently she goofs off just as much as this one, but she knows not to mess with certain people.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
21 Jan 09
A delivery driver actually allowed her to hog tie him? That is not funny and she should be told something called 'professionsl behaviour' at the work place. Of course she is flirting with your husband and with everyone else. She does need to be told and reprimanded and told that if she doesn't stop this behaviour then the information will be entered on her file. I would gently advise him if this is possible that this gorl's behaviour is trouble. Hope that it can be sorted out. Blessings
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 09
Thanks for understanding what I meant, it seems it came across as if this girl hog tied my hubby... if that were the case I'd be extremely upset with both of them. Anyways, I'm not concerned about what this girl does with the other people at work, it seems where ever you work there's going to be at least one person who is childish and shouldn't still have their job, but I don't want her "flirting" with my husband anymore. I did tell him it bothered me, so hopefully it will stop now.
1 person likes this
• South Africa
21 Jan 09
Don't they have a code of conduct at your husband's work? I think this girl is probably looking for attention, and fully exploiting the fact that most men in work situation can get into trouble very quickly when they do something out of the norm. I would also get angry if I was making a business call and someone interfered with me. Someone at a company I used to work at had this way of slipping ice into the back of your T-shirt when you are on a call - very distracting and probably potentially harmful to business. I would love to know what's the age demographic over there. Has any of this girl's victim's thought of making an official complaint about her behaviour? It doesn't sound as if your husband is that willing a flirtee so you probably don't have much to worry about on his account, though...
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 09
There is a code of conduct, but there are only half a dozen people working there, so it's a rather tight knit group. And I certainly don't have anything to worry about, hubby didn't even think of the fact that it was possible flirting, he just figured that's how this girl was.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
21 Jan 09
I think that in a way it would bother me just because it would be my husband(speaking hypothetically of course, I have no husband) that she was messing with. It sounds to me like she is flirting with him a little bit, but she might be one of those girls that flirts with everybody. It could be harmless and since you husband does not seem to think anything of it I would not worry about it too much. It sounds to me like the girl needs to grow up a little bit.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 09
He just thinks she's annoying, and from the sounds of it, she is. It does bother me just because it's MY husband, but she's messing with the manager too, and he's also a married man, and the fact that she doesn't seem to care does bother me a bit as well. I feel like going in to see what this girl looks like and see if I can learn anything about her from meeting her to see if I can make more sense of her actions. Maybe I'll do that on Friday since I have to go past there to go shopping anyways.
1 person likes this
@Barb42 (4216)
• United States
21 Jan 09
First, tell me how a 20 year old girl could manage to get a big guy on the floor and tape his hands to his feet without him playing along? Can't be done. As for the girl, she needs to be told that is on way you act in a professional office. The boss should put a stop to that or fire the girl, one or the other. I would not appreciate it if I heard these things from my husband. Mature people do not act like that in a place of work.
• United States
21 Jan 09
Apparently the guy she hog tied was just a little shrimp of a kid, not a big guy, but I've never met him so I can't say forsure. My husband doesn't like what she does, but the manager doesn't seem to care, like I said, he plays right back.
1 person likes this
@dropofrain (1168)
• India
22 Jan 09
definately, these kind of instances bother you a lot. I would never like anyone messing around with my husband. There are special codes of conduct which needs to be followed . Since she is very childinsh I can think of such things. You need not be worried but be careful.
1 person likes this
@zhuuraan (961)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I don't know about flirting, but it certainly is childish, and definitely not anything taht should be occurring in a business environment. I'd say your husband needs to get a new job and awway from the immaturity. If the manager let's her do it and even does stuff back, the odds of a complaint getting through are virtually nothing. Does this company have a corporate headquarters? If so, I would report her and the manager to them and go over their heads if necessary. I would definitely be angry about this, flirting or not.
1 person likes this
@singlemommy (2952)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I can't say that I wouldn't be upset because if I was in your shoes I probably would be too. Maybe the girl is just playing around and a very playful person and doesn't mean anything by it. I really can't say whether she is "flirting" or not. I work around mostly men and I do a lot of joking and playing around with them. The thing with men is they normally dish out just as much as you give them. I would never do anything with the men I work with, I don't look at them that way, I look at them as my friends and a lot of times they have been there for me when I needed them. There have been days when I needed someone to talk to and they were willing to hear me out and give me a shoulder to cry on. In fact, the last serious boyfriend I had broke up with me over a text message one day when I was at work. I was a little upset and one of the guys I work with just simply put his arm around me and said, "You don't need him anyway, you have all of us". It was one of the sweetest things anyone could have said to me at that time. I'm not taking up for her, but maybe she is just playful and she looks at her co-workers as her friends and nothing more than that. You just don't know how to look at a situation like this unless you are there and can see exactly what happens and how it happens.
1 person likes this
• India
22 Jan 09
i think she is not trying to first with ur husband or if she so ur husband has to be some patience , or its good 4 new young people are choosing 4 work .........take care
1 person likes this
• India
22 Jan 09
ya the girl is flirting with u r husband so u better put pressure on u r husband
1 person likes this
@manny025 (73)
• United States
21 Jan 09
umm well i think u should trust ur husband wen he says dat she was juss playin around and she does it wit every one at work i dont think u she is flirtin wit ur husband and u shouldnt be upset cuz u should already kno u have ur man and she dont =]
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36746)
• United States
21 Jan 09
Personally I think you have a right with being a little worried, and Honestly this does not sound right or appropriate at all, and for the Boss to just play right back with her is not very apporiate either. I would have a nice discussion with your husband and let him know how it affects you from this, and let him know that he needs to talk to someone before things go any further. This could end up in a serious situation sometime, and then how will your husband feel if he could have helped prevent it somehow? Wishing him the Best.
1 person likes this
@CRIVAS (1818)
• Canada
21 Jan 09
I too ave been in this situation. I can honestly say that it doesn't bother me that much. It just sounds like she is the playful type and I don't think you have to worry about it being a crush. I am sure that if she were ever to step over the line, your husband would stick up for himself and let her know that enough is enough. I don't think that she is anything more than a young playful girl who is just trying to make the day pass by with a laugh or two. I wouldn't even worry about it.
1 person likes this
@kareng (21140)
• United States
21 Jan 09
I would be upset. For one, if your hubby was on the ground with her, he is playing his own part in this because wouldn't he be a good bit heavier than her? Second, this girl seems to be there to play and not work. You said she does this to others as well, even the boss. I think that everyone should complain. The workplace is no place for horseplay and/or flirting of this nature. I think your hubby should be the first to discuss the situation with your boss. It's not far off from being harassment at work if it isn't already. This should get the boss's attention.