My hubby's ex wife is running my life and I"m tired of it!
By Bella75
@nixxi76 (3191)
Canada
January 21, 2009 2:13pm CST
I feel that my hubby's old life is catching up with him. I've had all I can take of baggage from his ex wife and their old marriage. When they divorced, she told him that she was not going to let him ever be happy and stop him by trying to do anything if it came to moving on with his new life. Well she was right and I"m fed up with it interfering with our relationship.
My hubby got layed off from work in November. Today he finally heard about what unemployement was going to send him and he's only getting $98.00 out of $2500.00....
This made me furious when I first heard this new this morning. He's been on the phone with child maintanence all morning and some of the afternoon trying to get a hold of them but it's the government so if they would kindly get off their hinies and answer an actual phonecall then I'm sure this could get resolved a lot quicker.
Child maintanence actually took $2500.00 from my hubby and gave him $98.00 out of that. I'm not sure how they think this is going to solve anything because this is what he gets for not working in the last three months because unemployment told him not to? This is crap! Now he's been called back to work and wants to ask his boss if he could work under the table so his ex can't get anymore money this way. He also wanted to make arrangements with Child Maintanence on his terms.
I'm not sure what to do here.. leave all of this? Or stick with it and deal with it with my hubby? What would you do?
2 people like this
4 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
22 Jan 09
I'm answering this through e-mail, so if I'm repeating what others have already said, I apologize.
I think if you truly love your husband, you should stay with him. Leaving him just because of her, will prove she's winning the battle.
I know how you feel though. There's been times I've been so sick of his parents meddling in our lives that I wanted to leave him just to get away from them! But I love him too much to ever leave him.
I hope everything works out for you!
1 person likes this
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
22 Jan 09
My mom had a bit to do with me deciding whether or not to leave him as well. She was encouraging me to go stay with her and go back to school to get my nursing. My mom's opinion really means a lot to me too. It's very hard because she thinks that my hubby is not getting me ahead in life and that he's had wayyyy too much baggage for my own liking. Well she's right about that.
I do love him but hate what he's brought into our relationship, and I"ve never had to deal with something like this before so it's tough.
Thanks for your comment
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
22 Jan 09
Well, if you're seriously considering this, there are other things to take into consideration.
Do you have children together? If so, these are really not good enough reasons to leave the relationship and break up the child's home! So if you have children together I'd tell you to just get it out of your head and focus on making your marriage work for their sake.
Have you tried councelling yet? I personally don't believe any marriage should be ended until councelling has been tried.
You knew what you were getting into before you married this man, you knew of his ex wife and his baggage. I don't really see how it's appropriate to leave him now because of it. And I mean no offense by this, it's just my own 2 cents, but I think it's a little selfish to want to leave a marriage just to further yourself (that's mostly true if children are involved).
Please don't take offense, this is just my opinion. I'm personally against divorce except in cases of abuse or infidelity, and I think if you had a reason to marry him in the first place, then you have a reason to stay with him!
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
22 Jan 09
If ya love him ya stick it out.
Myson going thru the same thing.
The courts take most of the money and leaves them with nothing to live on.
Hoping my son will soon have her or grand son paid off in April then that will be the last of it.
Half the time they dont look at the dads side of it.
FInd out how much he owes then work to get it done with but if kids rent 18 then ya still have to put up with it. sorry but thats the way courts do it.
Hang in if ya love hime hugs and blessings
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
23 Jan 09
I know it hurts bad when they give it to the mom that way! and he should be able to see the kids she is punishing him the lawyer should get that starightened out.
My son had his back operated on 1st of Dec.
and they gave the x half of the back pay that workmens comp owed him. ALtho they cout has is set at 350 a month he got half of what ever my son got
and then half ever wekk . Now workmens comp ain tpaying right now dont know why SO thats somehting else he has to deal with and dont know what kind of a job he can get now for they have told him he cant be a deciel machanic any more.
and he still cant go back to work at any thing yet. and he has to go for another MRI to findout why he still urting how he is hurting from the nerve.
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
22 Jan 09
Sometimes I love him but then that love turns cold in a matter of seconds.. he turns me on and his ex turns me off. We haven't seen those kids of his for two years now because of her and it's sickning! He thinks that he's paying for nothing. She's probably going to receive that check for over $2000.00 in the mail by the end of this week if not today and have a great time with it grrrrrrrrrrr! I just don't understand when child maintanence told my hubby that they would pay her a portion of the check, then all the sudden give her 99% of it? That is such crap! I can't wait until he's all paid up and he went to see a lawyer about seeing his kids last week because he wants to see them after two years. I hope she gets in major trouble for this.
Thanks for your comment
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
21 Jan 09
My hubby pays a lot in support too.. i talked to the lawyer the other day because he switched jobs and provinces, so he doesn't make half as much as he did before.. and they should only be taking HALF of what he's paying from his checks now.. but hopefully the ball is now rolling and he will get some of the money he's paid in credited back ebcause he's paid a lot more then he should have for at least 5 months.
And i dont know what i would do if i where you.. I dont even know what i am doing myself. lol.ex's are nasty buggeers. how old are the kids ? after they are 18 she wont have any ties to you two at all.
1 person likes this
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
22 Jan 09
His kids are 8 & 10 years of age. He does owe for backpay that he's missed and ended up behind thousands of dollars. Does he get to see his children? NOPE we haven't seen them in two years now and damage has been done to them. He went to see a lawyer a week ago and he's going back to court!! I can't wait to see her face when the judge tells her that he is now going to be able to see them on a constant basis! I"m going to be there the whole way through. There were payments she took and was suppose to report that to child maintenance and she even signed receipts for them so I"m sure they are even going to question her on that one as well.
1 person likes this
