Selfish or just plain mean?
By BarBaraPrz
@BarBaraPrz (51818)
St. Catharines, Ontario
January 25, 2009 6:11pm CST
A friend of mine recently found out that her estranged father had visited from Australia, and no one told her that he was "in the area". The father is supposed to have Alzheimer's and not remember anyone but also supposedly came by himself to visit relatives? My friend heard a few conflicting versions of when and where he was, how long he stayed, and who got to see him. Seems like the entire extended family knew, except for my friend, her daughter and my friend's mother. When my friend asked her sister about it, her sister said that she "decided to pull the selfish card" and not tell her. I guess she didn't want to share.
What do you think? Was the sister being selfish or mean? Personally, I think she was being mean.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
26 Jan 09
Hi barbara~I agree with you! I think that the sister was
just plain being mean! How do you not tell your own sister
that her father is visiting? Especially if he is not well
and it could be the last time that she gets to see him! That
is beyond selfish and she should be totally ashamed of herself!
What kind of sister is she? Not one that I would want anything
to do with after she did something like that to me~!
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (51818)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
26 Jan 09
Well, at this point, she's not wanting anything to do with the whole bunch, that's for sure.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18481)
• Orangeville, Ontario
26 Jan 09
Pull the selfish card? This isn't a chocolate bar, this is their father who was probably there for more than one day. There was no reason why the sister couldn't tell her he was there, even if she chose to tell her on the last day of his visit so she could at least seem him if even for a short period of time.
That's beyond selfish. It's beyond mean. It's pretty immature if you ask me. I hope your friend knows that what goes around comes around and her sister will get her's in the end.
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (51818)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
26 Jan 09
In the meantime, my friend has a load of heartache to deal with, not just from this, but from him leaving in the first place when she was a child.
1 person likes this
...In situations like that, your friend needs and has the right to know about her father's being ill. She should know not just because she is a daughter, but also to prepare herself how to deal with the illness.
@sumofalltears (3988)
• United States
26 Jan 09
I have to say that I think it was both selfish and mean. I would have to question the ethics of the matter if he was in fact suffering from alzheimer's and was allowed to travel alone....very wrong in my opinion.
I know how she feels though because I have a mean spirited sister as well, and since my parents passed away we have not spoken to each other at all.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (51818)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
26 Jan 09
Yes, that's the big question: how does an Alzheimer sufferer get from Australia to Toronto unless someone else arranged it? One story has him in Chicago, another in Detroit, for a few days, or just put back on the plane home right away.
1 person likes this
@pulangpluma (334)
• Philippines
26 Jan 09
I don't think it is right to keep secret from your friend. She is also the man's daughter thus she has the right to know what's going on with her father. I think it is selfish to withhold information you know from someone who has the right to know.
@BarBaraPrz (51818)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
26 Jan 09
Thanks for being the first to answer. I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking the sister was being mean.
1 person likes this
