How Important is Your Family

United States
January 26, 2009 1:58pm CST
As a mom, my children are the most important thing, along with my husband. My life revolves around my children. That does not seem to be the case for all mom's. I am trying not to judge, but I know a woman, who has two children. When her husband moved out and took their children, because of her cheating, lying, and physical abuse to him and their 5 year old son, she found a new male "friend" and continued her usual behavior, although she would show up on his doorstep and harass him at all hours of the day and night. After a while, she moved away and eventually got remarried. All the while, she never saw her children. It has been 6 years now. I can count the number of times she has seen her children on a little more than one hand. And tell you also that in the last 2 1/2 years she has had no contact with them at all. Her son is 11 and her daughter recently turned 9. That gives you some idea as to their age when she left. In the beginning she would call and try to set up visits, then not show up. Now she doesn't even bother. Four years ago she had a new son, and not quite a year ago she had a daughter. This daughter was premature and has some medical problems. She does not have to pay child support since this baby was born, and never paid regularly. She is so far behind and doesn't even have to pay on the arrears. Everyone who knows the situation, knows that it is for the best that she is not in the picture for the older children, and knows that they have a very loving and supportive family. She was never their for them emotionally, barely physically, and now not even financially. I just don't know how a mother can just pick up and leave one family, just to create a whole new one. I could never do it! My kids are my life!
3 responses
• United States
26 Jan 09
Yes I totally agree with you fully. See a lot of us get it messed up when we think these kids are ours to do what we please with them and to them. See these are Gods children which he has placed in our lives to nuture and bring them up in Gods ways and not our ways. People go day in and day out like they rule the world and the things in it. Many people don't deserve to be parents but what can we say, there's really nothing we can say to make hardheaded people open their eyes up to reality. I would never desert Gods children whether they are mine or not. See we as people love to fulfill the ways of our flesh and that's why the mother who is neglecting these children is out there doing whatever she feels. In cases like this people need a reality check. Maybe she doesn't realize what she is doing to others around her that's why she constantly does what she does. EVen though you won't do this or I won't do this simply means that we have some kind of love and compassion for others. Maybe she don't love herself so that's why she don't know how to love anyone else and specifically her own children. This is sad that people carry on this way and its not just women but men also. Individuals have to determine what they want out of their life and what kind of effect they want to have on others in it. Its good that those children are with someone who can be there for them and care for them like they are suppose to. We need more people in the world like this man who stood up to take care of those kids. He can also do much better in his life and in those kids life. When God sees his own mistreated he has a way of moving them and maybe this what needed to take place in this situration. But kids are the love and light of God so it is our duty to protect them from all hurt harm and danger. I love kids a lot so I dont mind being there for them no matter what age and no matter what race. Kids are Kids whether young or old.
• United States
27 Jan 09
All of God's children are precious. I agree. And what you said of father's doing this is true. It is hard to understand when a father walks away, but it is incomprehensible to me when a mother does it. How do you carry children 9 months, look in their little faces, hold them, cuddle them, feed them nurture them, then turn around and walk away? And not look back. No pictures, phone calls, letters, not even an e-mail. No birthday cards, Valentines, Easter cards or gifts, or even a Christmas card or gift. As I have said in another response, It is for the best, I truly feel that in this case. These children are finally seeing some normalcy. I pray she doesn't come back and cause an upheaval in their lives.
• United States
26 Jan 09
I'm completely in agreement with you. My daughter is my whole life. A co worker of mine had 3 kids and she started dating a new guy who didn't want anything to do with her kids so she signed away her rights and gave them to their 3 different fathers. I couldn't believe it!! I would never give my daughter up! I don't know how people can just walk away from a family.
• United States
27 Jan 09
I lost an infant daughter. I probably would not have made it through that if it hadn't been for my girls. (and my husband). I suppose in a way it is good that their mom is gone. These children have a wonderful father, and a good family support system with extended family. They have a very stable life now. It has taken years, but the son has made such a huge transformation. His anger seems to be calming. He has gone from a very difficult child, to, well, still difficult at times, but so much better. I wonder what will happen as they get older, if they will want to see her. I guess time will tell.
@kezabelle (2980)
26 Jan 09
I agree i dont understand how anyone can walk away from their children and never look back although i can understand that some people have their reasons. My children mean the world to me i could never walk away from them and if their dad tried to take them away id fight him with everything i had to make sure it didnt happen!
• United States
27 Jan 09
I feel the same way. I would fight for my children. This woman had been reported to Children and Youth for her physical abuse to her son. So she doesn't even have unsupervised visitation. Of course that doesn't seem to matter to her because she has no interest in seeing her children. I wonder if she would recognize them now. Her son want's nothing to do with her and he remembers the abuse and the horrible things she said to him. Her daughter, was so little and was the chosen one of the two. Not that she remembers any of that. Her mom being absent is all she really knows. Neither of them even speak of her except on rare occasion. They don't express wanting to see her at all. Their dad doesn't speak negatively of her, he just doesn't speak of her much, period.