in laws!!!

We share some things in common. My husband is also a truck driver who is gone most of the month. My mother in law didn't really love the idea of her baby boy driving a truck and being gone all the time but she is coming to terms with he is doing what he has to do to keep our family going. She made the same comments of the things you miss with the kids and the how many marriages fall apart when one spouse is always gone and these things are true but you have to be willing to take the good with the bad and stick together. The way I look at it my husband has given up a whole lot for me and his son. It is hard to adjust to something of this nature but we all have to come to terms with it. Jobs are not readily there anymore and driving a truck pays a decent chunk of change. I know she worries as the rest of us does and there is no way to get around it. I don't like it myself I miss and worry about my husband while he is out there on the road but we have to take what life throws at us.

Sounds like "Mom" does not realize that her son is not a little boy anymore, and has a family of his own. Jobs are tough to come by these days that's for sure. I used to be the wife of a trucker so know all too well what that is like not only on me but my kids. My kids still have issues with their dad but one day they will realize things once they are older why daddy had to do it. It seems like you have enough stress already to deal with and you certainly do not need hers as well. I think you and hubby need to confront her with reality. Good luck and just keep on keeping on.

No, I don’t have inlaws like them but I do know of many MILs to whom the son is always ‘her boy’ and she will always resent the time he spends away from her and with ‘his’ family. And when she fails to convince her son, she turns to the impressionable children in the family. One good thing is that your hubby seems to be firm in his views, most often than not, the sons are confused as to where their priorities should lie and that creates further problems everywhere.

Well, you know how the old saying goes...Misery loves company. I hate to say it, but it is true. I guess he is just going to have to put his foot down and tell her she needs to be more positive when she is talking to him because Mothers do have a big affect on their sons. It will be hard, but once he does stand up to her and say something, she will think before she speaks and it will make life a lot easier for your whole family.

My sis in law did the same to me.My in laws had had business which incurred losses and it had to be shut down.They were having around 150 employees under them.But now they have nothing.Just on old house to live in and some investments.After my marriage when i faced the financial crunch i pushed my husband to do a job and he found it in a dealership concern and started working.My sis in law blamed me that earlier he was living like a king and now he had to work under somebody because of you.He used to have 150 employees under him now he works under somebody.I felt very bad at that time but later on realized that she was just giving vent to her irritation about his brother doing petty job. But i am proud of my husband who has adapted himself according to the circumstances.Now me and my husband both are working and leading a very comfortable life and trying to fulfill all need of our son.

It sounds to me that she's using your kids to make him feel bad because she misses not being able to see him. She's probably upset, too, that he didn't spend more time with her when he was home from driving. But, she needs to understand that him spending time with his children is more important. Is he an only child? Or maybe the baby of the family? My husband is the youngest of 4 boys and he used to be such a "mama's boy". He's gotten a lot better over the years. Back to your problem; I think you and your husband should sit down with your mother-in-law and explain the situation. Tell her that while he misses her, she's an adult and can handle not spending every minute with your husband when he's home from work. Your kids are just that...kids. They just know that Daddy's home and he will be leaving soon, so they want to spend as much time with him as possible. Also, maybe invite her to one of your family outings, so everyone can spend quality time together. I hope it gets better for you and your family!

Wow!! Making him feel like he is missing out when in reality the kids are Happy with what he does and are able to go with him during the summer. Maybe she is the one who is jealous, and misses her son and wishes he could be around more than any of you, and wanting to control him a little more. Personally if I were you, the next time your husband is around maybe this is something you and he could talk about and let him let you know how he feels, and find a way for him to tell his Mom he enjoys his job and she should worry more about herself than everyone else. Wishing you the Best.

My mother-in-law is the same way. She tries to make my husband feel guilty. He drove over the road for sometime as well. When he would come home she was waiting at our door for him and never left until he asked her to. Then she would get mad because he wanted to spend time alone with the family. We don't live near her now but she calls constantly and won't leave him alone. That is part of the reason we don't live near her.

I would keep away from them. If your husband wasn't a truck driver, they would find something else to complain about! At least he is taking care of his family and making the time he has count. That is saying a lot compared to a lot of people.

Welcome to the club. I have in laws also that I did not go well along with. It was my mother in law, we have a fight for almost a year and up until now even if we talk I still don't trust her. And I can sense that my husband is not on my side. Actually she is one of the major reason why my husband cheated me and we're separated. It is really hard to understand in laws. Especially in laws that are manipulative, will intrude in family decisions. But you know it is up to your husband to be not affected with her mother. He should be strong to fight for your family and should be able to stand up for what is best for the family.

[i]That is tough...My in laws are not like that. They know that their son is married and it changes of course his time to be sent with them and they understand that fully. We are visiting them once a month or once every 2 months and sometimes, they are the one who will come over to see us! You MIL maybe is just jealous, can't believe that! [/i]

in marriage you have to accept the fact that inlaws are there whether you like it or not. there are monster in laws while there are God-sent in laws. but the fact remains, they are still your husbands' parents. whatever they did/ or didn't do, the by product is your husband whom you love. so atleast thank them for them ;) lol i guess the important thing is what your husband thinks of the situation. if he feels the same way you do (that you are deciding the right things for your family) then i guess there are no problems. while your mother in laws actions might pose some influence on your kids with this kind of thinking, i take it you as parents explain your kids these issues in a manner they could understand. at the end of the day, you can't really make people do or act the way you want them to, especially grownups! so might as well control your actions. always be on the good side, so at the end of the day you have no regrets. and also, you really can't take to his mom. if it's bothering you so much or your husband, why doesn't he have a heart to heart talk with her. no fighting just trying to understand where she's coming from, then explain where your husband is coming from. having wonderful in-laws is the most rewarding thing. it's like having a second set of parents. it's important to atleast try to have a good relationship with them too. if all else fails, atleast you can tell yourselves you've tried everything right. cheers!

Hi, I understand your situation... I've known of somebody who is in the same situation as yours. But lucky me, as of now, that my mother-in-law is not like that. We're living with them and we're having a smooth relationship. In your case, maybe you can try talking to her about that attitude. Tell her the bad effect of it to your children. Just keep in your mind that she's still your husband's mother and need also to be respected. Talk to her in a nice way... I still believe everything will be fine...

Don't worry! Your husband's mother's probably just jealous the fact you get to spend so much time wth him that's all. Try spending sometime with her, i thimk she's just lonely. That's all

How awful of her to make her son feel guilty for what he has to do to earn a living. He is supporting his family and she should be proud of him for that - not critical. Guilting him about his kids is really low. I'm sure he misses them just as much as they miss him. It's nice to know that you do things as a family when he is home and if his mom doesn't understand that he needs undivided time with his wife and children when he gets back home then I say ignore her. My ex mother in law tried to set her son up on a date with a model when he was already seriously dating me! She made me feel like I was never good enough for him - but at the same time would flirt incessantly with his then teenaged friends! We were together for 6 years before we were married for another 12 after that... and I can guarantee you that, because we divorced, I get blamed for it, behind my back, at every opportunity. She pried a LOT and tried to find out the reason we got a divorce (is there ever just one one reason???). It was none of her business and I quite simply refused to answer her. Sometimes, you have to do the "tough love" tactics, keasling... if she is causing trouble and your husband prefers to ignore it, rather than dealing with her, I think you'd be better finding ways to limit your contact with her. I wish you a lot of luck!

ya thats common with everyone around us where the old people need to understand a lot now...