Am I with the right person?????
By ketybhagat
@ketybhagat (4123)
India
January 27, 2009 11:24pm CST
During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" the author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfilment. Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you
to decide who you let walk away,
who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!!
3 responses
@yuna15 (2706)
• Philippines
1 Feb 09
This is a very good article. Yeah every relationship goes through a certain cycle. At first it feels so good until the horror of reality comes. We need to be able to know how to adjust to the life that we got ourselves into. Falling in love is not a choice but to stay in love like what the author said it is a choice.
Thanks for sharing this one! It's inspiring and an eye-opener for those people who wants to see "changes" in their spouse. 

@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
3 Feb 09
Thanks yuna, Im really glad you appreciated this article. Once the routine of life starts and the first flush of love evaporates, it is then that the real test begins. We have to learn to accept the nature of our spouse, his good and the bad. If there is understanding between the spouses, and forgieness, marriages can be made rock solid. cheers.
@natsvelascotan (665)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
I agree, being with someone is not just somtehing emotional but a choice. When you finally decide that this person is the one for you, youdo what you can to make it work
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
28 Jan 09
Yes, after the first flush of love is over, all relaionships need to be worked upon. It needs a lot of respect and understanding for each other. Life means give and take. Good luck,
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
..nice inputs and ideas.. thank you.. that would be helpful for me as I am starting to build my family with the man I chose to refuse to let go.. I just hope and pray that God will give us the wisdom and bind us with undying love for us to work together and be with each other through thick and thin..
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
28 Jan 09
Congratulations. This is indeed good news. Keep up the love and respect for each other over a period of time, and lots and lots of understanding thrown in. Life is a big give and take, may you both have a wonderful life, and may your relatoinshiip grow stronger as the y ears go by.





