I need tips on how I can express my feelings so that he understands.

I'm sorry you're going through that. It's difficult, but you definitely need to sit down with him and have a long conversation about what's going on that caused him to turn to this woman, why he would do this to you and his kids. Is there any way you could go to marriage counseling together? Counseling is great even if you go individually or as a couple. I think it would be a great option if he can't give you any reasons as to why he would do this. Good luck, I hope things turn out okay.

You need to sit down with him, and just explain to us what you explained to him. Explain to him how you feel. There is no easy way to do this. You just have to express yourself and see how he feels afterward. If he truly cares about you he will do something.

Oh Seppy my dear MyLot friend, My heart sinks for you. This is a really tough situation and I am devistated. I can imagine how you feel. You have written such a heart felt post, yearning for someone to spell the magic words in effort to make this all go away and be like it used to be. Truth is, you have already said the best thing you can. I would of done the same thing. Why is it that he feels that he has to worry about his friend more anyway? I am with you, you are his wife and you both have the boys. I know you love this man and that he loves you. From what has been said previous. Is this a case that he wants his cake and to eat it too? What is he thinking? That he can woo her and have you and the boys waiting at home as well? This angers me also Seppy. You are a dear lady and are worthy of much more than this type of thing to go down, ever. I am shocked. I am truly shocked. At the point it is at and because of his reaction to your legitimate questions, I would call his bluff. Be prepared for him to fall for it but then expect that he will likely come crawling back too. This guy needs to give his head a shake. You could tell him that if he wants to give this woman all his attention instead of to his wife, the woman he married and to his precious boys, if he wants to act like a teenager, dating again then there's the door. Don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out! Harsh? Yes, it is but so is what he has done and is doing to you. I would tell him that you want him to leave the house as long as he thinks he can carry on with this person as he is. Just leave. Move. Go be with her then because he isn't going to have both. Either you and him with the boys, without another woman on the side or he can Go and have her. One way or the other. Say you did this and he acted upon your request and moved out. Where would that leave you and the boys? Legally speaking. I am not sure. I mean if he were to act on your request, where would that leave you and the boys financially? I would not out up with it, I know that much. I'd be holding the door open for him. I would even help him pack his bags. Under no circumstances do I promote infidelity. Affairs of any kind. I realize that he has simply just been speaking with her but where does that leave you, when he leaves, to go to work etc? You sit there wondering if he is with her or sees her etc. Be honest. What he has done is unspeakable and frankly, I am beyond shocked that he would even consider this when he is married to you and has the boys he has committed to. I guess you could try the silent treatment. You could move out with the boys. Has he ever done anything like this before? After talking with you for as little of time as we have, I would guess not. We can sit back and just hope that one day he wakes up and says Oh My Gawd, what am I doing?! When one seeks outside the relationship/marriage it is because there is something void in the relationship itself. Relationships take two people to have one. It is a team effort. If two people are meant to be together they will be. If they are not they wont be. No matter how many children or whether they are married or not. I am saddened, I feel your pain and I am here for you. PM me anytime Seppy. How shattering this must be. You are right that you can not do all the saving of the relationship yourself. Remember, a womans intuition is alway right. Never second guess that small voice inside your solar plex. You're not paranoid. How can you express your feelings so that he understands? Show him how shocked that you are that he is even considering engaging in such a friendship with another woman when he is married and has children. As him What are you thinking? Do you really think you can carry on with this person, telling her that you love her and so on when you are already committed, without and repercussions? Ask him to take a moment to sit quietly and take a long look at his boys. Does he really want to do this? Ask him to imagine the impact it will have on their lives. Never mind his marriage. Hopefully he will give his head a shake and back off. Maybe then you both could attend some family counseling, together to help both of you get a deeper look into the marriage and see where any wrinkles maybe that could use some ironing out. No marriage is ever perfect. Counseling or rather mediation can be fun and eye opening, resulting in enriching the relationship and family structure as a whole. Contact Dr. Laura. You can call into her radio show, free. Here is her website. I always listen to her and she is straight up and give 110% logical advice. You'd love her! Here is her website: http://www.drlaura.com/main/ If he doesn't seem to be pulling back, I hate to suggest it but I would be contacting a good lawyer. I will keep you and your family in my nearest and dearest prayers. Leep us posted Seppy. Be good to you. *hug*

Wow this is a hard situation to be in but My aunt recently went through this. If you feel he is not 100% only in love with you then you need sit down with him and plead with him to be honest with you. If he insists you are the only one he truly loves then suggest marriage counseling and try having him at least cut down the talk time with this other woman. If he does not want to hear any of it then I would say to prepare yourself for what my aunt went through. Her ex-hubby left the country and then shacked up with a woman he met online. He had been having online affairs for the last 8-10 years and in my opinion if a man can do that then he is not the one for his wife.

I have always been the one to be frank and upfront about things. But when it comes to my husband, I freeze up because somehow he has a way of making it all my fault when I am the one hurting. So, I started writing everything down. iving it to him to read. if he throws it away, then he obviously dont care about anything you have to say. If he reads it, have him write out how he feels so you can read it from his point of view. Somehow pen and paper is easier to get your feelings out for both sides then it is to speak. My heart goes out to you. Maybe you should ask him to leave until he figures out what he wants from your marriage as it seems you are giving your all and he wants more then that. If he leaves, then you know there is a bigger problem at hand. If he stays then he wants to work it out. Have you tried talking to the girl he's talking to and see what her point of view is? Not, yelling at her or cussing her out, but just let her know first hand that it hurts you how he is treating you because of her and that if she is any kind of woman at all she will back off and let him be the family man he was before her. Other then that, I dont know what to say. I mean, not to be rude but if he doesnt want to work it out then maybe its time to move on. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need anyone to talk to, I know you dont know me but I have been married for 5 years to my childhood love, 3 kids and have been through a lot..lol..Even a situation like yours but it was reversed on me. I was the one reaching out to another man when my husband didnt give me any attention and treated me badly every day!! But, things got better, so thats why I can relate to you:) Keep your head up and dont let your kids see the frustration because they will turn to hate him and I dont know if you want that.