Desperate times
By jasmine0728
@jasmine0728 (677)
United States
January 28, 2009 11:21pm CST
I have a 16 year old niece that just had a baby three weeks ago.I love my niece very much and spent 3 years chasing her,watching out for her and doing everything I could to keep her safe.After she joined a dangerous street gang I had to give up I had my own daughters safety to think about.
Now here she is with a baby and doesn't know who the father is.The baby is just perfect,beautiful.My problem is she is only three weeks old and my niece is already boeard with her,and has taken her to the bad part of our state to the gang members home.My sister (her mother ) and I live in a nice neighborhood,we moved here together for the better schools and was happy our children could grow up together as neighbors and classmates.I long since had no choice but to stop my daughter from hanging around with her cousin for her own safety.I am scared for this baby it seems she is destined to be brought into these bad neighborhoods and bad situations with my niece.It is so sad,my sister seemed like a good mom yet this girl has gone bad,she even had a diagnostic assessment done on her and they have said she is an anti social personality.Now I realize there isn't much I can do for her but what about this baby.Is anti social personality hereditary or does she have a chance if I were to talk my niece into giving me custody.I just don't know what to do.I could go into all the risks my niece has taken and the things she has done but I think that would not be necessary.
Thanks any ideas or thoughts are appreciated.
Jazz4 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Regardless if the anti social personality is genetic or not, you'd still be helping this baby by taking it in, if you're able to do so. Even if the girl had no problems what so ever, a 16 year old can raise a baby on her own, trust me, I was there at one point.
Even if your neice refuses, I think it's important you get either you or your sister to gain full custody of this child, even if you have to bring your niece to court. I know you love her, but you have to think about the best interest of this innocent child who needs a shot at a decent life.
I wish you the best of luck and pray that everything turns out allright for everyone involved. I hope your niece can change her ways before it's too late.
1 person likes this
@jasmine0728 (677)
• United States
29 Jan 09
One of my sisters was a mom at 16 to and she has done a wonderful job raising 4 kids as a single mom.This other sister couldn't seem to put her only childs needs ahead of her own and my niece was raised seeing things she never should have seen,and hearing her mother lie all the time.My sister is a pathological liar she is so bad that she truly believes her own lies.I wish I could just take this baby but that is not legal.The baby is fed and cleaned and gets lots of cuddle time so the courts are not going to agree that the child should be removed from her mother.I wouldn't be able to prove that she is still affiliated with the street gang and even if I were it would not be considered a reason to remove a child from her mother.I know it would be in the best interest of this baby for me to take her and I have offered I would happily raise her myself.My daughter is almost 18 I would consider this a blessing,but I will have to wait,knowing my niece the way I do I am pretty sure the newness and the novelty of having a baby will wear off and then she might take me up on my offer and I will have this done legally so she can't just change her mind later.
Jas
@jasmine0728 (677)
• United States
18 Mar 09
I am happy to say as of now she just quit the gang and seems to be at least trying to be a good mom.She agreed to coming and staying with me for awhile to straighten up and learn good ways to care for her daughter.I know I may b setting myself up for a fall but I have to try.They are my nieces and I love them both,I will protect the baby if need be,I am hoping I will not have to step in at all.
Jas
@dawon007 (184)
• India
29 Jan 09
The baby needs to be taken away from the mother. We don't know what is happening when she goes with the baby to the gang members. I think it is better to apply brute force since the things has gone out of control. Tell her in a stern manner that you can't go to the place. Children who are brought up in such environments like that of a gang have more chances, to be more precise, many many times more possibility, to turn out into a criminal or anti-social than one who is brought up in a normal house. Try in earnest to detach her from the gang as she might not know the pros and cons of it at the age of 16.
1 person likes this
@jasmine0728 (677)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Thank you for your comment.I wish I could just go take this baby,however my niece and the baby still live with my sister,the same sister that has allowed my niece to run wild and ignored or denied everything she was doing.Department of children and their families is somewhat involved the problem is the baby is being well cared for.She is clean and fed and cuddled a lot,if it weren't for my knowing where my niece spends her time and what she is capable of I would think all was fine so this is what the social worker thinks.I know it is only a matter of time though and something will happenhopefully the baby won't be with her when it does.My niece has put herself in dangerous situation so many times it is amazing to me that she has not be harmed herself.I would hate to think she will have this baby in these same dangerous situations with her.
Jas
@jesse022190 (171)
• United States
29 Jan 09
I hope for your sake and the babies that you can get custody. As far as I know anti social personality is not hereditary. I think it is probably environmental. I would have hoped that having a baby would have changed your niece. I am sorry for everything that has happened because of this and wish the best for you and your whole family.
1 person likes this
@jasmine0728 (677)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Thank you for you response.From what I learned it isn't likely even a baby can change my nieces behavior,I sure wish it would.
Thanks,
Jazz
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
6 Oct 10
I use to manage anxiety times, listening musiq, playing violen and i like chocolates, and i feel i get refreshed after having my chocolates. And best remedy is Meditation, try breathing exercise, it will help you balance and handle anxiety.
