Backfighter? have you been accused of it

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SOme people will think that when you talk about them with your friends that you are back fighter. but usually most people will confde with their friends about a particular person that they dislike. do you consider this kind of gossiping. I do hate being talked about. But most of the time i just let it go and not confront them and as long as they will not going to bother me and they are just expressing their feelings about me with their friends and they don't do any more than that to cause damage to my image or reputation i would not be bothered. But sometimes people will use the excuse of sharing their feelings to other people to destroy or maligned or spread some rumours to some people to hurt the reputation of the person. when it is alright for you for people to talk about other people. and when has it already crossed the line of backfighting and gossiping other person.