Rage.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
United States
February 3, 2009 3:21pm CST
Have you ever gone into a rage? I was watching Dr. Phil yesterday where he was trying to help two people, one man and one woman get to the heart of why they go into a rage at the littlest thing.With the woman it went back to childhood. Whenever someone teased or try to hurt her feelings, she would fight them. The man, rage was easier to express than his hurt. I have a hair trigger temper but I haven't gone into a rage in a very, very long time.Watching I figured out why. Wth the two on Dr. Phil, they would attack before they got hurt. Me, I am a defensive person. In other words, I am nice until it is time not to be nice.And instead of going into a rage, I have learned that planning and executing the proper revenge is more fun and more rewarding. With the two on Dr.Phil, they rage but there is no resolution. With the proper revenge, there is.Then today I hear about Christian Bale. What do you think?Was it just one of those " the straw that broke the camel's back"? Does he need help like the people on Dr. Phil? Or should he learn what I have, don't get mad, get even. ps. What is the wildest thing is I have found that doing nothing in most cases IS the best Revenge. The personn just sinks themselves and it is great to watch.
3 people like this
8 responses
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
3 Feb 09
I did in the past go into a rage...my ex was going to spank my two year old with a belt. I knocked him out! Yes....I did..but that's one of the only times I have ever done anything like that. I am more passive...like you. I think ignoring someone sometimes is the best way...don't answer the phone etc....I also have practiced revenge at times....but not like you think. I once broke up with a guy and filled out 12 magazine subscriptions in his name so he got a bunch of magazines he had to cancel..but I don't set out to hurt anyone....
2 people like this
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
i wish jillhill that i can have the temerity to carry out a good amount of revenge on ce in a while. yet, just like you, i never found the right amount of courage to be able to do it.
at least, for you, it was good that you had given that ex boyfriend something to deal with for quite a time. i haven't even thought of a good way to have my revenge at all.
yes, what i was able to do was simply to make known my anger. i had spats of word battle with the guy and that's all.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
3 Feb 09
I do more than ignore the person, they cease to exist.If they came up to me, I would say, do I know you? and then I would walk away. I love the magazine bit, that was the perfect revenge.when IHave to find the perfect revenge Or I would have to kill whomever. The perfect revenge hurts them deeply but they are still alive. Well at least to others but not to me.I am not good at yelling and name calling. silence I am great at.It takes time to find the perfect revenge. And sometimes you need patience which I do have where revenge is concerned.
@HomeFlower (987)
• Canada
4 Feb 09
I'm nice until something happens then all the hurts and problems that never were resolved come back and I have an outburst. Most of the time, I'm blinded by the emotions and will say hurtful things -- usually I'll throw old unresolved problems back into the mix.
I'm not good at revenge. I'm more likely to hurt myself than hurt others .... it's because I'll internalize whatever is happening and by the time I'm done, I make everything my fault. Then I end up depressed and just want to crawl into bed and do nothing - ever.
I didn't see the entire outburst that Christian Bale had with his director (or whoever that was) but I overheard part of it. He was really angry and from what I heard, he felt like the guy was interrupting and getting in the way of Christian's work. I think it was a case of the straw that broke the camel's back.
@HomeFlower (987)
• Canada
11 Feb 09
I'm liking your method of revenge better than my method of internalizing the hurt.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
4 Feb 09
I don;t think in terms of revenge, I don't think it is the right way to solve issues,
my son is a terrible temper is rage is out of control.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
4 Feb 09
Revenge is my middle name, actually it is Elizabeth.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
3 Feb 09
Its all about Values. What do you value most and why?All people have different values, some Higher than others. Let me show an example which I use because its known by most people- Jesus went willing to the cross to be crucified because he did not place a High value on his life. Anwar Sedat the Late Egyption Prime Minister (Oct 6 1981) was on the reviewing stand reviewing the troops, when he realized an assination plot was in progress. He stood up, thereby giving his life, to save those he loved. These are but 2 examples of those who placed a lower value on their life compared to those they loved. This is not about getting mad, getting even, or going into a rage. Its about loving others, and putting them first, no matter what!
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
3 Feb 09
Loving one's enemies is why I am not a Christian. If I Had to forgive an enemy, it would create enough rage inside me that I would explode and kill whomever was near me.By focusing on my true enemy and looking for a non violent revenge is healthier for me and for society.I am nice until someone does something to me.This is the main reason I not a Christian. I would end up either just faking this love thy enemy and become a serial killer on the side or I would reject G-d altogether.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
3 Feb 09
I had that problem before. let me tell you it`s not fun at all. When i was 18, it was hard to control it. I used to keep everything inside then when my boyfriend was annoying me, in a very annoying way, I had the instintc to pull his hair out but I kept quiet. In addition to problems I have at home and the stress I had in college, I exploded. There was nothing I could do but to explode. Since then, I would rage at each little thing but the flame of anger became smaller with time. The thing i learned is to express your feelings and not keep everything to yourself. For some people, the baggage of emotions is soo much that one can go nuts. So I think it`s ok to express yourself verbally and crying helps alot so the person would feel better. It`s better than explosing at the end.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
3 Feb 09
When I was young, I would keep everything inside,but these days planning the perfect revenge is my release. Crying would make me feel worse.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
4 Feb 09
hmm I am not sure about revenge. Ignoring someone is not revenge in my opinion...it`s simply ignoring but that`s just my opinion. If i have children, I want to teach them how to solve problems like adults when they become mature and take their loved ones who has anger management to a specialist. the best thing to do is to let the angry person alone till he/she will calm down then talk about the problem. I don`t want them to do things such as revenge. On a second note, I think crying is ok. Everyone does...otherwise, it might not be a human but a robot.
@BloomerBeak (106)
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
Doing nothing about it is what I do often. But I don't think it's still good. Why? Because somehow, some time later, anger will find it's way out. Maybe we can stop it at a moment, but it will eventually come out. Doing nothing is not always the best thing to do if you feel anger because it's not healthy. I, for instance, experience shaking in my whole body when I feel furious, yet can't get into a rage. It's not healthy for me, emotionally. It sticks within me as a trauma to whatsoever. But what can I do? I don't know how to go into a rage.
So what I do is I made an outlet. Whenever I feel anger but can't get into a rage, I write everything out into a piece of paper, then left it somewhere, and eventually forget that I have written something like that at all.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
3 Feb 09
what I meant by nothing was instead of going to the person with a baseball bat and bashing his head, just let him be. And when he needs you to do something, just say no or better still refuse to even take his call. That's the nothing. Just letting things go without the proper revenge would make me rage and i would hurt Everyone around me instead of the my target. I am glad you have something to do. Take care.
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
3 Feb 09
i like your last two sentences best in this discussion of yours, sarahruthbeth.
it is about two years ago when i last went into a good amount of rage. actually, it ran through for several months. i was uncovering the filthy relationship that my used to be husband was having with another woman. it was so very difficult to be caught in such a situation.
it would have been best for me if i had just simply kept my quiet and opted not to do anything about it. it shouldn't have weighed so heavily on my shoulders and the hurt wouldn't have been so very deep then.
the last sentence is now what i am hoping to take place sooner than expected. i am waiting...
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
3 Feb 09
I am rare. I think better when I am angry than when I am happy.So thinking of the best revenge is second nature to me. I hope you get to see the downfall Real Soon. The perfect revenge Is worth the wait. Take care.
@explorations (1712)
• United States
3 Feb 09
I haven't, but my ex-husband was constantly getting into rages over things that were really no big deal. He's better now, but there was a point in time when I didn't want to send the kids over there with him because I was concerned about their safefty. I try to remain as calm, collected, and patient as I possibly can at all times. If I feel I can't, I take a walk or hit the shower in order to calm myself down.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
3 Feb 09
I am glad Ex doing a little better. I would walk away but as I walk, I am constantly thinking what to do.And I don't stop until I decide what to do.
