Troubled Deeply~ Consultation required....

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Story Goes like this.. 4 years ago, started a relationship with a girl, in fact, moved in and stayed with her and only went home once or twice a month to visit my family.. Coming from a traditional chinese family, alot of my friends and relatives have deemed me as un-filial at that time. I still remember at that time, whenever i 'request' to go home, my girlfriend will definately quarrel with me.. saying that she should be the most important person, doesnt have enough time with me, even though i spending nearly 16hrs a day with her, the rest on work.. I doesnt really care much at that time till.. Last Year, 2nd May 2008, my mum aged 53yrs old, got a stroke.. coma for the first 3 days.. hospitalised for the first month before discharged.. went for physio-therapy, speech therapy, hyper-baric treatment, acuputure for the next 2 months.. i was shocked, and deeply regret that i never spent much time with her before. at that time, i did request a break-up with my girlfriend, she cried, beg, threaten to suicide.. promising that she will change, spend time with my family, allow me to do so, as well as giving me more freedom, i decided to give our relationship a 2nd chance.. I know that she is not the cause, or reason that caused my mum to got a stroke, but i couldnt really forgive myself that i have spent 3 yrs with this girl ignoring my parents.. yesterday, i just broke of with my gf, reason, she is back to herself... possessive, wanted to control me and my life, doesnt allow me time for friends and family, etc.. Same thing happen, cry, beg till my heart goes soft.. I decided to be firm this time, but am i in the wrong? We doesnt really suit each other, but she have spent 4 yrs of her youth with me.. Im 27 this year, she is 26, and in singapore, we should be thinking about marriage now.. have i let her down? Am i in the wrong breaking up with her due to my own selfishness, my time, my family , my friends etc?