Would you go to a wedding alone if your partner could not come?
By elitess
@elitess (5070)
Ipswich, England
February 6, 2009 6:19am CST
Let's say a friend of yours invites you to his / hers wedding but your partner (boyfriend / girlfriend, wife, husband) is unable to attend it, so you have to choose: would you go alone to this wedding or would you politely decline the invite and say that you can't go?
12 people like this
26 responses
@Shar19 (8231)
• United States
6 Feb 09
It all depends on how close I am to this friend. If I've known them for a long time and it's a very good friend then I would probably go by myself. If it's a friend I haven't known that long or someone who is just an acquaintance then I wouldn't go to the wedding.
3 people like this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
8 Feb 09
I've actually had this happen to me. The only difference was is that it wasn't a friend, but a family member. My second cousin was getting married. I've only seen her on a few occasions through the years so I felt more like a stranger than a relative. But I did want to go, even more so with it being only about 10 miles from my house. As most of my relatives are spread out I thought it would be a good opportunity to see them. But my husband didn't want to go. I wanted to go, but I didn't want to go by myself, and I didn't want to bring both of my kids alone with me, especially with one of them being special needs. Nor did I want to take just one as I would have felt guilty that my other child didn't get to go, so I ended up not going at all. It's just as well, as our car was (and still is) in need of work so we would have had to rely on someone picking us up. 
2 people like this
@bjcyrix (6901)
• Philippines
7 Feb 09
I would still go to the wedding regardless if my partner couldnt come. It would be not as fun if he would be there but if he cant come then he cant come. Id still go to the friends' wedding cause he/she is my friend after all and Id wouldnt miss this celebration of their love, especially if its one of my closest friends.
2 people like this
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
7 Feb 09
Well actually this might become a situation for me, well actually for my girl. So her friend has invited her to be her bride of honor to her wedding, but my girl told her that's in our session exam (and it is also our finishing year, and we have our final exam as well, so we really have to focus on our studies) and she told her that but no use. We have never been to a wedding together and she complained to me a while back, before her friend asked her that she is now glad that she is not alone anymore as she will have a partner to go to weddings and stuff. I think that the only way i / we will be going there is if we don't have exams on the day at hand or on the following day... which is highly unlikely because the probability of one of our exam to go over that friends wedding is really high.
Honestly some people may consider me as possessive or something, but this winter session exam we had those tests scheduled in such way that we had to stay away from each other for 13 days and it was like being in hell. When i think of the summer, and of repeating the experience, and perhaps miss another week or so, thus summing to 1 month of not seeing each other just because her friend's wedding, well i have a bitter taste in my mouth about it.
But as i read your response, if possible, i think i would be willing to compromise in this matter with going to the church ceremony (or at least her going there, if i have an exam) and then going home and focusing on our problems.
I know that was a general question, and i did not give out any details but...Someone said that if it's the friend's wedding most important day, you have to be there, but the thing is, in my situation, i wouldn't risk loosing 1 year of my life (if i fail or skip an exam, i have to repeat the year, not to mention that i would have to also pay another 550 $ for another year + that exam to retake it ) just because of some wedding... well call me selfish but i prefer not going rather than hurting myself on purpose.
2 people like this
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
7 Feb 09
I think you seem to have thought this through quite well. If I were your friend, and I knew that you were taking exams, I would really be understanding of that! I wouldn't want you to mess up your exams just to come to my wedding! You can show your friendship and well wishes in another way perhaps. I think you are making an excellent compromise. School is very important!
1 person likes this
@red_amethyst (3518)
• Philippines
29 Mar 09
Hi!
If it is a friend of mine, I would still go. I can't let a wedding of my friend pass, without me being there and celebrating a special day without me at her side.
I hope my partner will understand that.
Have fun posting!
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
6 Feb 09
Hello elitess! Well, I would still go for a wedding. It's my friend's special day and I won't want to miss it just because my husband can't go. For sure my husband will understand me if I would really want to go there with or without him. I won't flirt there anyway, so there's nothing to worry about.
@seabeauty (1480)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I am no longer married and I do not have a boyfriend but if I did I would still go.
I don't believe that one person should have to stay home and be bored in the house because the other person is not able to attend.
It's ok to go alone in my opinion even if your significant other objects.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
9 Feb 09
Bros before hos or Friends before men! Knowing me, I knew and loved this friends Way before my steady.And on their special day I have to stay home because my man can't go? Hell No. In fact I wouldn't expect him to go to the wedding unless he Really likes my friend too.It isn't about me on that day,it is about her/him. I want her/him to have the best day, and me saying I can't go because of my steady is a lame excuse.With that said, if my love were in the hospital, I would forgo the wedding and sneak to the reception, kiss the bride or the groom, have some cake and back to the hospital I would go.That way I made an appearance but didn't leave my love too long.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Well, it depends on how close of friends I was with the person getting married and how sick my Hubby was. If he's very sick, then I'd call with my apologies and skip it...afterall I'd only be worrying about him the whole time anyways.
On the other hand if it's just a runny nose, tummy ache or the runs and I really wanted to go to the wedding, then I'd go.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
13 Feb 09
Hi elitess,
The same situation has not arisen till. We are staying away from the native and there is less wedding ceremony happened here (within in the friend's circle). Most of the people tied the knot at native place. If anybody gets married at the place we reside usually we go together. In case my hubby is not able to come with me for my friend’s marriage I will definitely attend the marriage because I know he will give an excuse when the situation is beyond his control.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
8 Feb 09
I sure would! I would not want to miss my friend's most important day. I would not have a problem going alone. Before I met my husband I had to attend many functions on my own and, being on the shy side I did find it a tad difficult but I persevered and consequently I felt very proud of myself because I did not allow the fact that I did not have a partner at the time be a factor in missing out on an outing. It does depend on how your partner feels too, I guess. My husband is pretty good at allowing me to be independent. Having said all this I appreciate that there are some whom would just feel too uncomfortable to go out alone; you can always take a girlfriend instead!
1 person likes this
@newuser_99 (377)
• Nepal
8 Feb 09
hi elitess, on this case i am still lucky. I don't have to ask to anyone on party cause i am single.
nice to talk with you.
@stvasile (7306)
• Romania
6 Feb 09
If I was invited to a wedding, it means the friend who invited me really wans me there. And it's not me the one that must feel good, it's the bride and groom, so if my presence there makes them happy, I will be there, even alone.
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
7 Feb 09
It all depends on how close I am to the one having the wedding, but nine times out of ten, I WILL attend, even if my Wife decides she doesn't wish to go herself. I have had to attend a number of weddings recently and my Wife only came with me to 1 of them. The other 2 I went to alone. It would obviously be better if she WAS there with me, but it doesn't always work out this way, so no issues. At least I don't have to get all caught up in the "But I have nothing to wear????" saga when she doesn't come! 
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
6 Feb 09
Why in the world would I not help a friend celebrate such a wonderful event if my partner couldn't come?! My goodness, this is not about the guests but about a joyous day for my friend. Too many people depend on others to support them during events like this, they are selfish. They should think about the person that invited them, not about their own comfort.
And if a person doesn't go places because they don't like to be alone, they should get some help because they are mentally ill. It's all about supporting a friend, so don't be so selfish!
When you are young and self-absorbed, it's hard to go places without the one you love, I know. Look outside yourself and consider others and while you're at it get some backbone and learn to live by yourself--it will make your life with a loved one even better!
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
6 Feb 09
Hi elitess,
Few years ago I had a gentleman friend who was getting married, he invited my hubby and my friend but my hubby was working and my friend couldn't make it so I went on my own, I dind't know any one except the bride and groom but I had a fantastic time and got to know a few people people there and the young kids took to me and I ended up playing with them, it was a lovely wedding and reception, I'll never forget it but it was a shame that my hubby and my friend couldn't make but I had fun.
Tamara
@lomasbee (30)
• Trinidad And Tobago
7 Feb 09
What's the big deal in going?...it's your friend, and you had to be special to be invited in the first place,so if your significant other can't go it doesn't mean you should not share in friend's special day.If however that person doesn't want you to go becuz he/she is cannot attend,you need to take a second look at your relationship with that person ,becuz it is a sign of possesiveness and insecurity so work on that.
1 person likes this
