i have become my mother!!!! help.....

@dloveli (4369)
United States
February 6, 2009 7:12am CST
I was answering a discussion and when I went back to read it over, it dawned on me I sounded just like my mother. I am beginning to say,"when I was younger" or "In my day". Its sad but true. I am my mother. I am starting to use her sayings and I even have the same aches and pains she complains about. I love my mother dont get me wrong. I think we all at some point think that our parents arent as cool as we are. My mom is cool so I dont mind being like her or my dad. I would rather be like my parents than to be like some stranger. I just dont like the fact that I am starting so soon. lol. It is so bad that my daughter will try and grab my arm when I am on the ice and snow. My other daughter tells me I shouldnt be running or overexerting myself at my age. MY AGE!!! I am 39..... Anyone else know where I am coming from?
9 people like this
30 responses
@sid556 (30997)
• United States
7 Feb 09
Aw, your still a child. I am way older than you and yes....I have been doing that for a while now. It doesn't mean you are getting old at all. The fact is that things have changed an awful lot since you were a kid or just starting out. Even more so in my case. Usually when I use phrases like that, I'm referring to those days. 39 is not old at all. Heck, I had my last child at 38.
2 people like this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Feb 09
I LOVE YOU!!! That is the nices thing you could have said to me. What a nice man you are. I certainly hope your significant other knows how lucky they are. For me its the idea that I am getting older I guess. My daughters are starting to get the same responses my mom gave me. Thanks to you I see its not a negative but a positive. I am still me with a little motherly influence, That's how I intend to keep it. thanks again dl.
2 people like this
@sid556 (30997)
• United States
7 Feb 09
Hi D...I love you too but you have me all wrong. I am a woman...not a man. Also I am single as my sig. other did not deem himself all that lucky to have me, i guess. Thank you anyway.
1 person likes this
@bamrahkirti (1818)
• India
7 Feb 09
Dear i always wanted to be like my mother because for us she is just perfect.I saw her compromising her own likings and comforts for us.She is a very thoughtful lady.She managed the household affairs very diligently.My father was a medical representative in a multinational pharmaceuticals co. and he did fairly well.My mother saved his hard earned money and constructed a house and later bought a car.She helped me and my younger brother to do well in our lives.I am a chartered accountant by profession and my brother will soon going to become doctor.She has always taken care of our needs and aspirations and helped in our character building. I wish i could just be like her.She has not keeping well for the past few months and i wish her speedy recovery and long life.
2 people like this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Feb 09
You are a gift to your mother. I wish i could send her a copy of your response. It is the sweetest thing a child could say regarding their mother or father. You are a blessing to a parent. I hope and pray that your mom gets well so you can share with her how you feel. As a parent,I can tell you for sure that she would be proud to know what a great child she brought into this world....thanks for your response. dl
1 person likes this
• India
13 Feb 09
Thank you for appreciating my true feelings for my mother.
@MsTickle (25051)
• Australia
7 Feb 09
Even when my knees gave out I still thought of myself as "with it". My attitude was good and so was everything else, I was still attractive and enthusiastic about everything, life was not exciting not exciting but it was just ok. I started to slow down however and with that I began to gain weight. It seems as though it was overnight that I began to not recognise the old girl looking back at me from the mirror. I have a double chin, droopy eyes, my hair has gone lank and is turning grey all over. My cute necklaces don't fit and neither do my rings...My upper body is huge...I use my arms and back to get up and down instead of my legs and knees so my top bits have ....ummm, developed. I am really old looking and very unattractive. I'm only 56. I kid you not ...it seems not so long ago I was your age.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Feb 09
OH no you dont!! I dont care how old you are or how much you weigh you are still as attractive as ever. Dont let your age or weight get you down.Please! I am not skinny. I am on the big side. I work with it. There are alot of things that make you beautiful besides your weight. I am sorry for you poor health. I do know what you are going thru. I have always felt like the ugly duckling.I was wrong. Now I have my own style and I go from there. I would be happy to help you be happy again. Please dont be sad. dl
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25051)
• Australia
7 Feb 09
You're such a sweety...yep, I'll repeat it because your posthere and the private message really uplifted me. I'm not really so down, not much anyway...but I would like to develop my own style, I'm finding that hard. How does one go about it I wonder? I can (nearly)always see the amusing or silly side of things and find something to smile about.
@youless (98410)
• Guangzhou, China
9 Feb 09
Take it easy. You know it's a natural process. These days I suddenly feel that the time flies so fast. My child will go to the primary school next year and I suddenly feel the pressure of it. I think I will have more gray hair after that:) I love China
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
12 Feb 09
Thanks friend. Sometimes it just feels good to let it out. I dont worry about getting older. Its part of life. Plus if I worry too much I will get wrinkles. IM NOT READY FOR WRINKLES!!!!lol dl
@Raymo23 (465)
• Uganda
9 Feb 09
I think that at 39 you are pretty mature...39 yrs on this earth. I'm 20, making 21 this April but I very old, looking at the achievements of kids younger than me; am old, matter-of-fact. And yeah, I talk like that too, when I meet kids in the high school I went too, or when speaking about music; it was so different in my day. Though, I don't agree with your daughters about running; people run into their sixties. It's healthy and wise.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
12 Feb 09
I was a mother at twenty. I was always very close to my mother so I didnt mind being like her or asking advice. When I had my daughter at 18, I did on my own. By choice. I had my own apartment, own job, and took care of my baby without relying on everyone as society expects because you're so young. She turned out fine. Its funny because when I was a teen I spent so much time trying to do opposite of what my parents said as a form of rebellion. Now as I am older I have since went back and apologized to my parents for giving them a hardtime. I didnt do anything off the charts but I did my share. Society always makes acting like your parents a sign of aging. To me, its a sign of becoming mature. dl
@rirbry (353)
• Malaysia
6 Feb 09
ya it is a normal experience i think as we grow older we grow more matured and we will start thinkin what our mom and dad says, a fren of my is so wild when she was younger in her 20 now she had a son and always pray that her son dont be wild just like her =0 in yes we were young before so dont be sad!! life begin at 40 right??
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
6 Feb 09
Well I am glad its not just me. I thought I was losing my mind. That rules that out. lol. I think when women (some) have children it takes the wildness and turns it to mothering. I was not wild however, I did my share. When I had my daughter at 18, she was born almost 3 months premature and had a bunch of medical issues that would prove to be life threatening. She made it through and so did I. I did this without the help of her father. I think I grew up rather quickly. I think alot of emphasis is placed on a persons literal age. Its true when they say age is nothing but a number. My mom was a great mom. She always made sure we had what we needed and a few extras. Maybe its not so bad being like MOM. THANKS DL
@suzzy3 (8352)
8 Feb 09
Goodness me yes.I am fifty now but it has been creeping up for years,now my daughter says the same things that I used to say.We do have a laugh,must he getting old I say to her she is thirty one in March.I do try not to sound to old though and dress fairly young it is a fine balance between looking like a bit of old mutton or a left over teenager,Classy is what I call it.They do say fifty is the new forty.you have plenty of good years left in you yet.Mind you it is nice to know the kids care about us.I painted the ceiling the other day without my daughter knowing,to avoid "you be carefull mum,up that ladder at your age,what will happen if you slip", So when she came over to see me I presented her with a painted kitchen ceiling and bathroom .I was still in one piece with no broken bones,she is lovely,looking after me like she does.I am with you on the aches and pains and boy was I tired after all that decorating but I am keeping that bit between me and you.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
8 Feb 09
Noooo! I don't want to sound like my mother! Sadly I know what you mean, I catch myself talking to my daughter and the words along with the tone of voice is her! I am fighting this as hard as I can because I do not want to be my mum! As I was growing up she was always yelling and complaining, no, I am not like that, I refuse to be! My mother is Italian and not so cool. I hate getting older; I appreciate the wisdom that comes with age I just wish my body would stay as it was at, say? 25? Yeah right! At 39 I don't think you have a great deal to worry about yet, you are still a spring chicken!
@Darkwing (21588)
7 Feb 09
Your kids and their kids will always see you as "old" in comparison to them. I think it's rather cute that they worry about you falling on the ice! :) As for becoming like your mother, that's not a bad thing as long as you respect them for what they are. I think we all pick up a few of our parents' traits, even at a very young age, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Brightest Blessings.
@AmbiePam (51190)
• United States
7 Feb 09
I sympathize. I'm only 27, but I've always wanted to be my own person. I don't mind looking like my mom, but I didn't want to be my mom. But now I find myself saying phrases she would say, and I'm starting to notice we have some of the same mannerisms. I love my mom, but I really don't want to mimic anyone.
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5483)
• United States
7 Feb 09
I do know where you are coming from.lol. I just turned 49, and every once in a while I'll say something and it dawns on me, I sound like my mother.lol I agree with you though, it's not a bad thing. The funny part is we all say 'I'm not going to be like my mother' and we swear to ourselves we will never do that, or say that, etc. But, we end up doing just that lol. My daughters do not nor have they treated me like I was getting 'old' lol. I workout with my oldest daughter, when we are together, and I workout at least 4 times a week anyway. Both my daughters think I'm 'cool'. I was the mom that all their friends, when they were in high school wanted to hang around, or wanted me to go along on fieldtrips. lol
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Feb 09
I am glad I am not alone that is for sure. I too have the admiration of my daughters. My older one more so than the younger. My oldest is 21. I had her when I was 17 so we tend to like the same things. My other daughter just turned 14. She thinks I am not as cool as her. All the same when either of them need a hug they know where to go.dl
1 person likes this
@mgmagana (3621)
• United States
20 Feb 09
i think that happens to everyone...i too have become my mom...even my hubby says dang u r just like ur mom lol!
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
20 Feb 09
LOL I see more and more of my Mom in me everyday and of course when I do something boneheaded she always says I'm get it from my Dad so I guess I have alot of both of them in me. I don't mind being more like my Mom...she's a pretty good mom :) [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~[/b]
@bellis716 (4805)
• United States
8 Feb 09
Please relax and try to enjoy your life. Looking and acting like your mother will only get more pronounced. The good thing is that now you have the choice to emulate only those good qualities that your mother had. I catch myself repeating phrases that I remember my mother using. It is most amusing, though, when I hear the very same words coming out of the mouth of my 45 year old daughter when she is speaking to her almost grown daughters. She even says that she is beginning to look like me, something that I can't see at all. However, I couldn't see that I looked like my mother until I was past 60 and she in her 90s.
@cyberfluf (5004)
• Netherlands
7 Feb 09
Don't make me feel so bad dloveli, I am only 22 and I am experiencing certain feelings like this, lol! Sometimes I hear myself going over certain things like youth criminals and I will say: "In my day, you didn't dare to do such things". My day? THIS IS MY DAY! . So I do see what you are trying to point out. I guess a lot of this has to do with the profession I study that envolves a lot of personal reflection and mostly a reflection on your upbringing and which values are important to pass on. Studying to become a pedagogue and learning to advise parents, institutions or even goverment about parenting and education makes you grow up a lot in a short while. I guess that's the biggest issue why I am starting to sound more like my mom, and she is a wonderfull, dedicated and warm person. I have no trouble at all walking a mile in her shoes .
• Romania
7 Feb 09
Absolutely, I guess it's part of "growing up". We do become our parents to some extend. I mean, it's only natural. For the longest time, our parents were the role models in our lives, we shaped our minds, our thoughts and our behaviors on their molds. What girl didn't try on her moms shoes, walking around the house and pretending to be an adult? It's even more so when you have kids of your own, because the most solid experience you have regarding the mother-child experience is the one you had with your own mother. Some try to run away from it if the relationship was bad, but for most of us is familiar, comforting ground.
@wrongway (277)
• United States
7 Feb 09
I hear you loud and clear. LOL When I am trying to describe someone I find myself saying, "she was an older woman" and then realizing that I am about the same age as that older woman. I am going to be 60 this year but don't look it and there are times when I don't feel it either. My daughter tells me at time that I sound just like Nana. It makes me remember when I was a child and I can hear my mom saying those things and then I think, yes, I do sound like my mom and isn't it wonderful.
@winterose (39898)
• Canada
7 Feb 09
yes I know and you know what Nancy Friday wrote a wonderful book called my mother myself, talking about just that in the 1970's
@savypat (20245)
• United States
6 Feb 09
The worse is when you walk by a mirror and see not your 23 year old self by your Mother. That is really a shocker.
@jillhill (37379)
• United States
6 Feb 09
My sisters and I have noticed that about ourselves! We used to hate it when we went shopping and a clerk would ask if we needed help and my mom would always say...we're just snooping...well not too long ago I went shopping with my little sister and guess what she said! LOL....we both looked at each other like what the heck! LOL.....but it's not all bad like you say...one thing that really bothers me though is my baby is 30....when he rides in the car with me and I have to quickly stop or something I still stick out my arm so he doesn't fly forward! LOL