I'm confuse.. Can you please help me??

Philippines
February 9, 2009 8:19pm CST
Would you feel happy if your found out that you're best friend is going to marry?? Maybe all of you would answer "yes" since he/she is your best friend.. But for me honestly, I'm not happy and the worst I felt bad when I found out that he is going to marry already.. Yes, the reason why I'm not happy for him its because I love him more than just a friend.. Its been almost 9 years now and I'm still in love with him even though I know that he just love me as a friend or a sister.. There's still part of me that hoping that one day he will realize that he loves me too but now its all gone.. I need to accept already that he is going to marry and he will never be mine.. Its so hard to accept at first that he's going to marry but all of my friends told me that I should be happy for him since he's my friend and I know that he wants me to be happy for him.. But I just can't... Honestly, I already have a boyfriend.. I though the love that I have for my best friend were over but when he told me that he's marrying his girlfriend I felt very bad and as if my heart burn into pieces that's the time I realized that I still love him.. Actually, my best friend knew that I'm in love with him before and he was so sorry that he don't love me the way I do.. I tried my best to stop loving him more than a friend but I just can't do it.. I can't taught my heart to stop loving him and now its been almost 9 years still the love that I have for him still here.. Now, I realized that we were not for each other and I must let him go since that would makes him happy no matter how painful it is to me.. Do you think that I'm wrong if I won't attend on his wedding?? Do you think I need to stop loving him?? Is yes, then how would I do that?? Does anyone of you here had the same story as mine?? Do you think it is a mistake if I'm still hoping that he will choose me that his fiance?? I just can take the pain that I'm feeling right now.. Am I unfair with my boyfriend?? Well, he doesn't know anything about the pain that I feel right now.. He knows that I was in love with my best friend before and he all though that I was already over with him (since that's what I though also).. I do love my boyfriend and I don't want to hurt him.. I'm so confuse right now.. Can anyone here could help me??
3 responses
@nzalheart (2339)
• India
10 Feb 09
Yes that happens! And has happened to me too in my life. But I now I am already tooooooooooooo much fine. You can't imagine, the time can heal very very big wounds. But it takes time. What we feel is only about the present. If we get depressed in the present, we think what the hell this life is. And we think that we always have sorrows. But every sorrow goes away with time. I had loved a girl, and once we were very nice friends and once she had told me that I was her best friend. And at that time, I can't say I was happy or sad. Because I felt guilty that I had seen her more than a best friend. And one day she knew that I loved her, then the strength of our relation faded and faded....Many times it broke. But now she is married. Now, At least we talk when we meet, that's all and I am happy for that. At that time, I too had thought the same way that my life is nothing without her, my life will forever be in pain and pain...... And then with the time I couldn't realize how I forgot every thing.. But for now you have to be strong and go to the wedding. BUT MY WARNING TO YOU! After marriage don't try to be too close with him. Unless you are away with him, you will always get pain and nothing more...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
I just can't wait the time that I'm already fine.. Well, he actually know that I love him more than his friend but he just ignored it and continue or friendship. Of course, I didn't asked him to love me the way I do cause I know its impossible and I can't never teach someone heart.. Being his friend is really painful 'cause I need to be happy for him all the time especially when he is in someone else arms.. I know that I'm so stupid of hoping that someday he will changed his mind and love me more than his friend.. Well, its been many years had passed that we don't see and talk with each other so I really thought that I had move on already.. But sad to say when he told me about his proposal he made to his girlfriend, everything that I felt before came back and now I'm so much in pain.. i really hate to admit it that in some sense that I still love him and waiting for him.. Yes, I'm still hoping that he will love me the way I do but all of my hopes now are over 'cause I know that he will never be mine.. I am not that strong to show up in his wedding.. I know that I need to attend to his wedding to prove to him that I'm his best friend and that I'm happy for him but I don't know if I can stand the pain.. I just really hope that this love will just fade away so that I won't be so mean to him, to my self and most especially to my boyfriend.. :(( Thanks for sharing and for the advice..
@nzalheart (2339)
• India
11 Feb 09
You said many days have passed and you thought it was ever? Did you remember him at those time. Or only when he told you that he is going to marry? I can only suggest you to be strong. Yes its difficult, but you have to. Else don't attend the party at all...Say sorry to him for that you know...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
Yes of course, I always think of him in those times.. Actually, I really don't know if I had totally move on to him since no matter how I tried to think of him, he just came out from my mind especially if I'll do something that we usually do before.. I'm trying to ignored when every time I remembered him so that I would not be unfair to my boyfriend. My boyfriend love me so much and he will do everything for me so its just fair to him if I must forget my past feelings for my best friend.. Yes, I know that I really need to move on and forget him for my boyfriend..I don't want to lose him in my life and the more I don't want to hurt him because that's not fair to him.. I hope that I'm strong enough to faced the reality.. Thank you so much for replying and giving me some advice.. Thanks also for listening..
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
10 Feb 09
I f you really love him you would set him free. Setting him free in a way that you also have to let go of what you feel for him. Yest its not easy but its the only way in which you could move on from the agonizing pain that you are presently feeling right now. You might not be successful at first on forgetting him but at least you tried rather than telling you cant but you didnt even give it a shot. Make that big step by attending his wedding prove to yourself that you are stronger than you could ever imagine. I ma not only saying this coz i now what to say I am telling you this from my personal experience.....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
Well,I don't need to set him free since from the start he is already free to do the things that he wants to do in his life and we never we.. All I though that my love for him is all over.. Its been so many years now that we never see and talk each other frequently like before so I really thought that I don't love him anymore, that I surely love my boyfriend.. But when he told me about his proposal to his girlfriend, I don't know what happen but it seems someone had crash my heart into pieces and burn it in fire.. I can't believe with what I've felt that time and my heart was so in pain that until now I can still the pain even though I had already stop communicating him so that I can move on again like before and just be honest and sincere with my boyfriend.. I just hope that one day I'll wake up happy for him and ready to face the truth.. Thanks for the advice..
@rmuxagirl (7559)
• United States
10 Feb 09
I think you need to be happy for him, and that you should go to his wedding he is your best friend. How would you feel if he didnt come to your wedding? I mean it would bother and I would be hurt if my best guy friend married someone else because I loved him at one point.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
I know that I should be happy for him since that's the best thing I can do for him but going to his wedding means so much pain to me. I don't know if I can handle the pain that I may feel when I'm in his wedding.. I don't want him to see me crying the more reacting so stupidly.. I don't think so that going to his wedding is a best thing to do.. I know that I must be strong to face the truth but facing the truth gives me so much pain and I don't know if I can handle this thing right now.. I hope that I will wake up one day and feel nothing anymore so that i can move on and just be happy for him.. Thanks for the advice..