What will you do if you suddenly learned that your father is gay?

Philippines
February 10, 2009 8:23am CST
Actually, this just came into my mind as I have realized that gays these days are now being given a wider space. I am not gay, and none in the family is gay. I don't hate gays, not unless he will hurt me or any member of my family. Now, here's my question. Let's say that your father is very close to you, and all of your siblings including your mother. When all of a sudden, you learned that your father is a gay and has a boyfriend now. What will you do? No violent reaction and hurting words, please.
4 people like this
14 responses
@laydee (12809)
• Philippines
14 Feb 09
That has actually happened to one of our colleagues. The father was really supportive and everything. A good provider and such. Until one of the colleagues friend (who happened to be gay) saw the father with a bunch of gay friends at a gay bar and took a photo. The family was really shocked and all, they had their trials and all but eventually, they came to accept the father, as long as there aren't no public promiscuity that could taint the name. Now, as for me, provided that my father has been there all the time, he has been a good provider all these days, perhaps I could accept him. It would somehow be tougher for the mom, right? I mean, just imagine if you see that your husband (the one you've been with for years) suddenly tells you he's gay, and worst, you find out he is. That would surely hurt. What would you do if you were in their shoes?
@laydee (12809)
• Philippines
14 Apr 09
Wow! Thanks for the best response!
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
As long as my father brought me up nicely and that a my childhood has been ok, it does not matter whether he is gay or not. I think what matters most is the values he has imparted me.
@tammytwo (4300)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I wouldn't care either way. This wouldn't change the person that he is and wouldn't change my feelings for him if I already had a relationship with him. I just wouldn't want him to flaunt it in front of my children. But as long as it made him happy I would be fine with it.
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
15 Feb 09
It doesnt matter for me if my father is a gay as long he did not do things that is not good to look at, like dressing like a woman or flirting with other man or doing thing that is beyond a normal person. Being a gay may not be very acceptable in a our society but they are also human and should be respected too. If he is responsible, caring and supportive i can be proud of him even if he is a gay. They have also feelings and they can also love and beloved. I am just lucky that my father is not a gay.Gay or not gay is no difference for me.
@lampar (7591)
• United States
14 Feb 09
What can i do as a son, no matter what type of friend my father want to associate is out of my control, he pay my bill and is my mentor, i will treat him like i'm supposed to for a father, with full respect and love as before.
@se7enthbird (8322)
• Philippines
14 Feb 09
as i know.... being gay is hereditary. and i have an uncle he is my dads brother who is our auntie already. har har har. i mean he used to be just a gay person now she is a woman. she lives in the US. sometimes me and my cousins (specially the ones who have sons) tease that maybe one of our children is gay. i only have one child and a boy. back to the discussion. if i found out that my dad is gay that wont make any difference. we are not that close so it will not matter to me. maybe it would be a good chance that he is gay then we can be close. gay people are very jolly and talkative so maybe it is much better if he was gay.
• China
13 Feb 09
believe it or not,i always imagine that,my dad wasn't around for long so i have room for imagination,if it happend to me,i wouldn't be too surprised or rejected,let's face it 75% of the American family is living in lie,affair.domestic violent or parent just simply don't love each other anymore.why should your be any difference
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
12 Feb 09
Sounds like a tv plot. I really don't know how I would react. I have had good friends who were gay and I loved them. We were friends even though they knew I was "not like them". I have no problem with them and actually wish people would be more tolerant, especially in regards to children, insurance, healthcare, etc. It is not for me to judge their lifestyle. Only God can.
• United States
11 Feb 09
I don't know.I would want my dad to be happy and if being with his boyfriend makes him happy, then so be it. The sticky part would be trying to support boith parents. If my dad is happy with the boyfriend, where does that leave my mom?
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
11 Feb 09
I think i will be very shocked to know that.. And i will be wondering, if he's gay by nature, and being affected environmentally.. Because there's a hige difference as to it can be cured or not.. However if he's gay by nature, i will be even more shocked as to why am i borned in the first place when he's not supposed to like gals.. lol =D
• United States
11 Feb 09
I wouldn't think anything of it. That would be his choice to live as he saw fit. I would still love him because he is my father, and I would be happy if he were happy.
• United States
10 Feb 09
If I was younger it would probably have bothered me, but now at 37 I think I would just be like OH ok. well lets go get some supper. I do not really think it would bother me. It would be weird though. My dad is so manly.
@Lakota12 (42678)
• United States
10 Feb 09
that would be very very hard to take. I just cant think that of my dad even if he was still alive . I just know he wasnt as he was always home when not working!
@jessi0887 (2792)
• United States
10 Feb 09
I dont like the idea of someone being gay but i am supportive of others decisions. If my father or anyone in my family were to turn gay i would support their decision. Doesn't mean i would be comfortable with it.