i can't understand my guy!

Philippines
February 11, 2009 1:38am CST
i have a blooming relationship now, we are going to celebrate our third month together. but the sad thing is, we always fight and we have so many differences. i can't understand him sometimes. he is so moody and quick-tempered. i don't know. if i get mad, he will also get mad. if i am not in the mood, he will also do the same. in a matter of split second, he can easily change his moods. i don't know if you agree with incompatible signs. i am a little fanatic about horoscopes. he is aries and i am taurus. i have researched and read about my compatible signs and been to virgo and capricorn relationship before and so far, we don't have any big differences. how am i going to build my future relationship? is taurus and aries incompatible? or am i reading too much horoscopes?
3 people like this
23 responses
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
12 Feb 09
hey donna...I'm a tauraus. I got into horoscopes and astrology when I realized that all of my exes had birthdays around the same date. The were ALL aries! My first and 2nd husband were all aries. All my boyfriends thru highschool were Aries but for one and we are still best of friends. It is said that Aries is the worst possible match for taurus. Taurus gets along with most signs. Coincidence? yup...could well be but when I saw your post...oh I just had to respond.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
really? that is such a coincidence.i have an aries ex before. what is the sign of your partner now?
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
13 Feb 09
He is a Gemini.
@raynejasper (2324)
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
..hi.. for me, i don't actually believe in horoscopes because I believe you are the one making your own choice.. If you chose to be with that person, then you have to open your heart and mind to all his weaknesses and accept him as he is but don't expect him to do the same with you.. In loving, we need not to expect more from our partner because the real essence of love is to make your love one happy.. If you think you're not compatible in many things, and you could foresee that you will not be having a successful relationship in the future, then you might as well end that.. you are just wasting your time to him.. give both of yourselves a break and think deeper..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
dp you think so? that will hurt me so. but i guess, we are just adjusting to our relationship status.
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
..i see.. that is normal especially if you are just starting to build your relationship.. you have to make it a point to understand each others weaknesses.. petty fights are just normal in a relationship..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
normal? uhmm..maybe..but it hurts a lot. i always cry when we have petty fights.
@jimbo88 (231)
• Indonesia
12 Feb 09
I think your relationship is not depended from the horoscopes. You need more communication to our guy. Sometimes he needs more softly from you. Skip your emotion when you start to give him a statement. Taking care is a key for your problem.Good luck.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
thanks! open communication is the key to successful relationship.
@jimbo88 (231)
• Indonesia
15 Feb 09
That's right.
@emarie (5451)
• United States
11 Feb 09
there's nothing wrong with reading into horoscopes. i'm a fan of them too. i'm a Scorpio and my husband is an Aries so the the compatibility between us isn't that great since its pretty much fire and water. but we've been together for 7 years now so i can't really depending solely on that. its still real early in the relationship and depending on what you disagree on you can probably work most of it out if both of your are WILLING to try. me and my husband have different opinions on things and its normal, and for some reason i like to pick a fight...its in my nature. so don't stress about it and take it one step at a time. oh and a think about horoscopes..you can be more then one sign. depending on the hour of your birth you can contain 1-2 other signs in you as well as carrying their traits. for me, i was a Scorpio 3 times so the traits are pretty strong within me.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks! really? you mean, it will not matter. i guess, our personality just clashes like fire. is taurus an earth? and aries a fire?
@emarie (5451)
• United States
12 Feb 09
my husband is a fire element, and I'm a water element. He tends to get carried away a lot with a lot of things, and I'm the one who stabilizes him and brings him down.
• United States
11 Feb 09
According to Judith Turner's "The Hidden World of Birthdays and Relationships" you are your boyfriend are not compatible, but you know what, I rarely listen to those books anyway. If the two of you feel that you are compatible, meaning you two can truly handle each other, then by all means, you two should be together. Fair warning, you two might have clashing personalities, that is why the two of you are not compatible with each other.
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks rogue! maybe. we are incompatible with our personalities.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Feb 09
Yes, if the two of you have clashing personalities, that never works out.
• China
12 Feb 09
don't worry about the differences between the two of you because i am sure you guys must have at least one thing in common or you wouldn't be together. focus on the things that are in common and build more from them. also, opposite charges attract, so differences can be good things too. don't count on too much of the horoscopes. think how many people in this world with the same horoscope, are these people all the same?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
thanks. maybe you are right. we are all different. i have to accept our differences.
• United States
12 Feb 09
I think we can still be compatible despite the horoscopes, but they do key us into how our mate functions. For example, on the astrological zodiac my husband and I are both Cancers. So, two moody, defensive, side-stepping, eccentric, homebodies. Sure, we adore each other, but we've our differences as well. And when we both get passionate about something it can mean some knock down drag out "claw" fights. Ok, maybe more Klingon love rituals, but you get the point. On the Chinese zodiac we're actually polar opposites, not even to be together. My husband is a horse and I am a rat. Our elements are even vastly different, and our Feng Shui numbers are polar opposites so it means cures in my corners and in his corners. However, it is by understanding the nature of the horse that I've been able to make things smooth where they might otherwise been hectic. Meaning, I know just when to stroke him to get him to move my direction. He also has taken time to get to know my attributes as a rat. He's a bit free spirit party person. I'm the cautious, overly cautious house marm. He knows how to coax me out of my shell so to speak so that I can enjoy a bit more of life, and I know how to tone him down. Like anything, marriage is a two way street. And everyone has a fight or two.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
thanks! he is a tiger and i am an oxen. wheew! too many sides to take. but we have to work it out.
@jazel_juan (15753)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
i do not believe in horoscopes, it is you that makes decision. 3 months is still a very young stage, both of you need to still learn from each and other and learn to compromise, still a long way to go..me and my huby had been in a relationship before marriage for 6 years and a lot happened between those years...it is up to you how you will handle your guy, try to understand why he is in such a mood, do not get angry when he gets angry, communication and understanding will always be the key...you need to know more about him and vice versa...goodluck and learn to compromise!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
thanks... yes, we should make compromises.
• Indonesia
11 Feb 09
Well it's all about your attitude, whether you or him. Differences are unique, from its we should learn how to manage our temper. You know "Patient person loved by God". Let's just do it all because of Love, because love can break all differences become one..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks. yes, we have to become one.
• Indonesia
11 Feb 09
Sometimes it seem wrong and have blammed. Let me share story for you. I have friend. This is a girl.She has married with someone who loved.She was sagitarius and husband was taurus. According to her, his husband has many different with her. Like hobby, fave food,movie,mind. Both of them has many.. many.. difference.She likes do some physic exercise, eat vegetables and fruit,watch funny movies. But he doesn't like physic exercise, doesn't like vegetables and fruit and does't like watch funny movies. What wrong ! What she likes is what he doesn't like.Sometimes this make fight and dissapointed of both. But... they have same goal. They just love each other and wanna spent their live forever. So the most bad thing have solved. Ok. Happy lotting
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks. maybe that story can help me think things over.
@jenisky (406)
• Philippines
11 Feb 09
i guess you are reading too much of horoscope :) you have to learn to give and take in your relationship, and never ever be on the same mood at the same time,it will only cause a fight.. if his into bad moods just be understanding..and of course this kind of thing must not take long,have a good serious talk with your guy and tell him you really want your relationship to last and dont want your differences cause the problems..the least you can do is to understand him and be patience with him but if he's always like that,i suggest better go..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks. i tried talking to him but it is not helping.
@yanachka (30)
• United Arab Emirates
11 Feb 09
About horoscopes: if it says that for example scorpios are better off with aquarius does it mean that all these combinations are happy couples? and that all other combinations are unhappy couples?? But it's only my opinion, all I'm trying to say is that don't let real love pass you by and dont get stuck with someone who isnt right for you. Trust your heart and use common sense, try to find a balance somewhere there. If the relationship worries you, makes you uncomfortable, or leaves other negative feelings you should rethink. In a relationship you must be happy, but no one said it's easy. COMPROMISE is important as well as honesty and trust. Talk to him, don't suffer silently. Tell him how his behaviour (not him, but the behavior) makes you feel. Talk about possibilities that can solve this situation, ask him for suggestions, and about his opinion. DO NOT BE ACCUSIVE, it will spoil everything. People need to work on a relationship to make it work. If you feel that he is not wanting to cooperate and that your feelings are of no importance to him than think about what place this guy should be occupying in your life. And if you see he's trying then work on it together. God Bless You
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks. you are right. he don't recognize my feelings. and he don't want to talk about our relationship too.
@mermaidivy (15404)
• United States
11 Feb 09
Yea I understand, I used to be little grumpy and get mad easy when I encounter something's not right with him but I'm getting more used to him so I always try to take it easy so it would be better for the relationship if you really love him/her. Yea I sometimes read the horoscope thing too but I don't trust it all otherwise it makes me very nervous and always worry about it.,
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks. it is getting into my system now. he gets mad easily. and compared to my moods, he is far more moody than me.
@kezabelle (2984)
11 Feb 09
Personally i wouldnt read too much into horoscopes but if you have only been together three months but allready finding problems then well maybe you two just arent meant to be. Talk to him tell him how you feel see what happens then but if you feel he is worth keeping it might just take a bit of work
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks. i want to talk to him but he doesn't mind what i am saying.
@gemini13 (333)
• India
11 Feb 09
honey..!!!! just relax...and yes.. STOP READING HOROSCOPES.....even i am a little into horoscopes..i have bought Linda Goodman sun signs and love signs ..according to her Gemini n Aries are so much fun together.. i was with an Aries for about..2 and a half yrs..we had fun/..and lot of fights..i fell in love with a pieces..and didn't care about the sign compatibility..and now am married..with very little ups and downs and a lot of luv.., affection and ..romance..and guess what...Gemini and pieces are 45% compatible...its all in ur head... just work it out.. 3 months and u r fighting already...in mine ..we were all going goo goo gaa gaa about each other..we cud keep away from each other..its too early for a fight...valentines day is very near..if he can't do anything..then u plan something nice, cozy and romantic and..it has to go slow..u can never force a man to change coz u want to..they have a lot of ego.they may deny it..but every man has ego related issues..so just play the baby doll image..love him, comfort him...i can go on and on..if u want me to..there is a lot to know gurl.. just have fun get ur boy... happy valentines day
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks gemini. i think you are having a blast this valentines day. maybe, that will work. but i guess. it is too late.
@eksmith (64)
• United States
11 Feb 09
From what you've written above, it sounds as though his moods change to match whoever is around, in this case you. If this is the case, he may be insecure or be unable to detach his emotions from others. If you want to build your relationship, forget the horoscope aspect, and focus on the relationship itself. Ask him why he feels that his moods change so quickly and drastically. Ask him if he's uncomfortable being vulnerable to you. He may have grown up in an environment being forced or made to feel that he has to feel the same way as those he loves in order to be loved. Also, he may be suffering from depression or bipolar disorder. If this is possible, maybe research a little and talk to him about getting some outside help. Most of the time, things are a lot deeper than what it appears on the surface. Try different approaches with him to get to the core issue. However, remember that a relationship is a two-way street, he has to be willing to put forth the same effort as you for your relationship to flourish. Take care and good luck!
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks for this advice eksmith.
@bcote212 (1113)
• United States
11 Feb 09
I think that your looking to much into what month the guy was born in. I highly doubt that the month we were born in determines who we become. What I would be concerned about is the fact that the two of your have only been together for three months and you are already arguing all the time. This is not healthy. Especially in the beginnings of a relationship. If this is something that happens every week I think you will really need to ask yourself if you honestly want to fight like that for the rest of your life. Sit down with him, and let him know your concern. Try to fix it, but if for some reason you cant then find someone who is not going to want to argue all the time with you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks! while i was typing this. we had an argument again. well, he easily get upset.
11 Feb 09
Relationships are never going to be completely easy all the time and if they were they would become dull quickly. If the bad times outweigh the good and the arguments are a constant factor in the relationship perhaps you should consider whether it is actually worth it. I'm not saying you should end it, however, but if it is to work you need to find ways to communicate your feelings without so many arguments. You will both grow tired of each other if it is a constant battle and will end up resenting each other. Horoscopes are fine to read but you should not put too much focus on them. Whatever it says about your compatibility the important things is how you are with each other. Your horoscopes are not flexible whereas people can be. We can change and improve our relationships through learning, sharing and listening.
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks to this advice. our arguments are pulling our love down.
@sunil_008 (1270)
• India
11 Feb 09
Hi,I am cancer here. what your horoscope says about our comatible chart. well, i don't know about much astrology but practically i am free...:)since relying on the practical aspect of the situation it looks like that you want to study the details by any means...well that's not good if he changes his mood according to you then that is a good sign. but if he dowsn't then i think problem will start. when you are in mood and he's not then confusion and conflicts will arise. but i think you are lucky enough that he's also trying to understand you and may be its showing in his actions...:)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks. i guess so. i am just fanatic about signs because it is somewhat true to me.
@22angel22 (451)
• United States
11 Feb 09
I don't believe in horoscopes. Theres no way that everyone born in the same month can have all the same things happen to them. I think if you are having differences this early into it, get out, or talk to him about whats going on. Otherwise if it keeps going on you wont want to leave even if its hurting both of you to stay together.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
thanks. i agree. maybe, it is better to discuss it early than prolong the agony.