Baby Showers...Separate or Together??
By Wyldrose
@Wyldrose (1216)
United States
February 11, 2009 4:32pm CST
Hi y'all!!! I finally got a break from doing taxes and wanted to pop in and say hii!! And to get your opinions on this touchy matter..
My daughter-in-law is pregnant with her first child.. It's going to be a boy!! 
For that I am very excited because we have five granddaughters...we NEED a boy... 
Anyway, she is due in March so my other daughter-in-law decided to have a baby shower for her. Kristy registered on line with BabiesRUs so I went over there to look and see what she wanted and needed. At the end of the registry is a list of things she wants and a list of things purchased. Well I noticed a lot of those things had been purchased already. Ok..no big deal. A few days ago she posted some pictures on myspace with those exact items... a crib with the blankets she wanted, a valance she wanted, a few other things... Sooo it made me wonder how she got those so quick. Well come to find out her side of the family gave her a baby shower and did not let my son's side of the family know. Granted she has a big family BUT the point is I think they should of let my son's side know so that we could all join together and give Kristy the shower she deserves. Well now, it's going to be just my side of the family. She got all the big stuff she needs..the high chair, the crib,etc, etc...But now I feel like my choices are slim now. Maybe I wanted to give her the high chair or the walker....now I don't have that option, which, I think is unfair. So I am scrambling around trying to figure out what to get her. It's not that I don't know what to get her, the point is I think it should of been one big shower and not just one sided.
What do you all think??? How would you handle something like this? I want to be fair and don't want to hurt my daughter-inlaw's feelings but I also think her family could of been a little more generous. I know my family would have.
For that I am very excited because we have five granddaughters...we NEED a boy... Anyway, she is due in March so my other daughter-in-law decided to have a baby shower for her. Kristy registered on line with BabiesRUs so I went over there to look and see what she wanted and needed. At the end of the registry is a list of things she wants and a list of things purchased. Well I noticed a lot of those things had been purchased already. Ok..no big deal. A few days ago she posted some pictures on myspace with those exact items... a crib with the blankets she wanted, a valance she wanted, a few other things... Sooo it made me wonder how she got those so quick. Well come to find out her side of the family gave her a baby shower and did not let my son's side of the family know. Granted she has a big family BUT the point is I think they should of let my son's side know so that we could all join together and give Kristy the shower she deserves. Well now, it's going to be just my side of the family. She got all the big stuff she needs..the high chair, the crib,etc, etc...But now I feel like my choices are slim now. Maybe I wanted to give her the high chair or the walker....now I don't have that option, which, I think is unfair. So I am scrambling around trying to figure out what to get her. It's not that I don't know what to get her, the point is I think it should of been one big shower and not just one sided.
What do you all think??? How would you handle something like this? I want to be fair and don't want to hurt my daughter-inlaw's feelings but I also think her family could of been a little more generous. I know my family would have.7 responses
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
12 Feb 09
Well, it's difficult to call it, but do you normally do things with her family? Do you have that sort of relationship? If you do then it seems someone dropped the ball by not inviting you. If you don't, then that is the way of things. Your best bet is to simply ask what she would like the most that she doesn't have and then get that. She may need lots of little things and a large basket of all of that plus a stock pile of diapers may mean more then a lot of the large items.
Good luck-Anora
@Wyldrose (1216)
• United States
12 Feb 09
No we dont normally do things with her family. Well I don't anyway and I don't know if my ex does or not. I'm two hours away (which really shouldnt make any difference). I am going to ask her this weekend about it but in the meantime I'm going baby shopping!
Thanks for your response and have a great day!!
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
11 Feb 09
aw...that isnt fair..lol!
They definitely should have told everyone! But maybe your daughter in law had already told them of your sides plan to have one, and decided they would too? who knows...if there isnt a logical explanation, I'd be hurt too.
Maybe tell your DIL I wanted to invite your side of the family, too, but they've already had a shower for you. I wish we couldve all done it together.
She might just have the explanation you need.
I dont know your family situation, but sometimes, one side likes to try and out do the other side, I hope that isnt the case in your situation...
Good Luck! Let us know how it goes!
@Wyldrose (1216)
• United States
12 Feb 09
I don't think one side is trying to outdo the other side. We get along pretty good. I'm just saying the point to this whole thing was, my son's side should of been informed so we could have one big shower and not two. My son and daughterinlaw deserve the best but we should all do it together.
Thanks for your response and have a great day!!
Thanks for your response and have a great day!!
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
22 Feb 09
I think if the families don't get along then they should do them seperately but otherwise there's no reason to. I would just get her lots of sleepers, blankets and outfits afterall she'll be going through those all the time. Their not as grand as the big items but then again they'll be used constantly. You also might look at getting something really special like a monogramed blanket with their last name on it or a special outfit and have the babies name put on it if you know it. There's lots things you can still get.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@busyB4 (874)
• United States
12 Feb 09
It does make it hard when one family outdoes another that much but it may be something that may just occue through life with this child. I hate that it is not more shared in the family but sometimes you just have to accept and move on, and be glad that they did for her what they did. I think it is something best not confronting her with it though. Maybe you could take her shopping to get something she now needs or would like to have.
Too your side could get gift cards and let her go and pick out what she needs. I am sorry for your hurt feelings.
@hinkerbell (522)
• United States
18 Jun 09
I say throw her another one!!! it doesnt have to be expensive. She would be happy to get everything she needs from either shower. Dont spend that money ont he favors and stuff and then spend alot for a gift for the baby
Use this site for invitations
http://www.free-printable-party-invitations-online.com/baby-shower-invitations.html
Use home made favors such as candies, soaps, and other items in the shape of baby items like rattles or bottles.
have everyone chip in with food.
Borrow chairs and tables. it will be easy. Invite the other family and prove how much of a bigger person you are.
@Jae2619 (1483)
• United States
12 Feb 09
I would have been pretty irked, and would have to find a way to voice my opinion with out hurting feelings, but let it be known you were hurt in the process of them excluding you. You are the grandmother of this child as well, you shouldn't have been left out of it. But this seems to be an on going thing amoung families. Especially if this is their only child, or first grandbaby. It seems some grandparents wanna buy this child's love already by being able to say well we got you everything you needed. It's sickening to think that this actually happens but it does.
Having a new addtion to the family is special for both sides and should be celebrated by both together, even if there are difference those need to be put aside for the child.
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
12 Feb 09
Well first of all Congratulations!!! Whenever my brother and his wife were having a baby my family gave her a baby shower, we didn't include her side of the family because she said they were giving her one later on. Which we thought it was alright, if she didn't get what she wanted at the first baby shower maybe she'd get it at the second one. Another thing that worked out, was they told us the baby was going to be a Girl, and we were excited because we have all Boys, we needed a girl. Well whenever she had the baby, it was a Boy, big surprise...All the gifts we had given her was for a girl, and she had already washed everything, and had taken all the tags off of everything. So when her family gave her a shower they were able to give her boys things..lol. So we thought it was a good idea for them to wait till after she had it. So all I can say is it worked out for us to do it that way. So now your family will know what she needs and what she didn't get at the first shower.
