What would you do if you found out that you friend is gay?

Ireland
February 11, 2009 8:23pm CST
From reading some of the discussions on here it seems that a lot of people are concerned that their friends might be gay. My question is slightly different. What would you do if you found out that you friend is actually gay? and more importantly, should it make a difference?
3 responses
• United States
12 Feb 09
I have friends that are already gay, and I do not see a problem with that, these people are some of the nicest I know, so it makes no difference to me. If a friend that I thought was straight comes out and tells me that they are gay I will not think any different about them, I would congratulate them for their courage to tell others about something like that, which isn't accepted by everyone. Gay people already have enough judgment on them, why put them through more of it, you should be a friend to them no matter what and accept them the same way as you did when you thought that they were straight. It should really not make a difference to people, though there are quite a few that are closed-minded when it comes to these matters, or just shallow.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
12 Feb 09
Hey Sugarplum, I know where your coming from in regards to courage. I was so sick when I came out. It was such a relief to find that people were not going to come after me with burning torches and nail me to a cross. In saying that, I still have not told my grandparents, I think it would kill them. They are very faithful Roman Catholics and I personally think it would break their heart
@eichs1 (1934)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
For me, it should not make a difference, but wait, maybe on some things. My care and concern will remain the same. But knowing that he's gay, I could not help but be more careful he will not take things as if I am into man-to-man relationship. I could still share jokes with my gay friend but no more offensive homophobic jokes this time. If he's not that sensitive, then I need not worry about this part. And as a friend, I may from time to time, remind him to remain as respectable as he is. It's not that he might do something stupid but I know how some people do not know how to react to gays and lesbians.
• Ireland
12 Feb 09
Hi eichs, Thanks for the comment, however I am a little confused about one part of your message. When you say that you could not help be more careful he will not things as you are not into a man-on-man relationship, what do you mean? Do you get the impression that he may be attracted to you? and if so, why? I assume that he has not made any advances but have you explained your concerns to him? In terms of the homophobic jokes, I think it is a matter of opinion. It sounds terrible but I am usually the one out of all my friends to make those kind of jokes as I dont find them offensive at all, however I do know some people who get offended at anything. I know we live in a more politically correct world, but some people do take it to the extreme. Get back to me when you can and let me know what you think Ken
@eichs1 (1934)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
I have gay friends but I know from the start that they are gay. I wasn't in a situation of discovering a new personality of any of my friends so my response here was hypothetical. You got it right. I don't want a gay friend to mistook that I care for him because I am sexually attracted to him too. I know how vulnerable gays are and how easy can they fall of thinking that there's something more when you show them brotherly care.
@jammyt (2822)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
This actually happened to us. We are 3 in a group and this friend of ours named "M", has always been boyish. I am boyish myself, but we felt something different about her. She's been our friend since elementary days. We noticed that she was a tad bit too close with this girl and they lived together though the girl has a son. Later on over the phone, she told me she had something to tell me. So finally she admitted she was gay and was scared that we wouldn't accept her. I laughed that off and told her I saw it coming. I told her we were just waiting for her to admit it herself because she might not have been ready yet to tell us. She asked if it made a difference. I told it didn't. We love here for who she is not WHAT she is. It's not her fault she became gay or if she chose to be gay because she's comfortable with that. As her friends, we should accept and support her or at least be there for her and be happy for her.
• Ireland
12 Feb 09
Hi Jammy, That is great to hear. I have to say it does seem different for girls. I think it is the fact that you dont hear of as many lesbians as you do gay's. It is just such a pity that there are not more people like you