How can Parents do it
By Gabs
@gabs8513 (48686)
United Kingdom
February 13, 2009 2:24am CST
I am upset at the moment
Watching on the News Parents killing their own Children, how on this Earth can they do this, why are they doing it, what is our Social System coming to if this is happening?
Children are the most wonderful thing to have,
I was 17 when I was told I would more then likely never have Children ( due to what happened to me at the age of 5) I was blessed with 2 Children, wonderful Children, the Pregnancies where hard, I nearly lost both but I held on, after having one Miscarriage I was hoping in both Pregnancies, that they would hold on, the Birth was hard with both, but I would go through it all again for my 2 Children, the first cry, the first smile, words, step, just everything is amazing, they are amazing little Darlings, they are suppose to be able to trust their Parents to protect them, not harm them
I miss my little Girl being behind me at all times, sitting outside the Bathroom Door waiting for me to come out and then follow me about again, I miss my little Boy, who always tried to put his Sister right, who sensed when Mummy needed a hug, who kicked his Dad in the Shins when he hit me across the face while holding my Baby of 3 months old ( My Son was 3 then) who always was full of Life and full of Fun, those Days of their Childhood will always stay in my Memories as they are so precious, they are now Adults, working, caring, respectful Adults.
I didn't even like it when I had to slap their legs or hands at times, I felt awful, most the time though I would sit them down and talk to them or send them to their room (where I never left them to long, as I felt sorry for them, lol) My Daughter was a sweet Angel with the little Devil inside her lol always up to something, putting Yoghurt in the Video Recorder, stamping her Feet if she did not get her way, and plenty more, My Son was and still is full of Mischief ( somehow he did not outgrow that, sigh) he used to be the one one that would put things his Sisters bed or shoes and set her Tantrums of, yes it was hard at times, specially as I was forced to work, but I loved ever Minute and I would do it all over again, so HOW can someone kill their own Child. Is there not enough of sick Idiots about that rape, kill, abuse Children, how is a Child suppose to trust if they can't even trust their own Parents? Can someone explain this to me as I can not deal with this to well, I cry when I see it on the News
What is happening to our System to protect the Children?
8 people like this
16 responses
@Bohemian77 (277)
• United States
13 Feb 09
Very good post. What do we expect in culture where women, through the feminist agenda, deny the reproductive part of their nature? They have turned into "men" in their pursuit of careers and "independence". They deny their reproductive nature with birth control and abortion, because to compete with men, they have to become like men, and men don't have babies. It has created a generation of women that don't seem to have the nurture instinct, or if they do, it's twisted. Our culture had devalued life through birth control and abortion, so it's not a big deal anymore when a mother kills her children. If it's "ok" to slay a fetus in the womb, why does it seem odd to slay a 3, 4, or 5 yr old fetus? Women are under the delusion that it's a fetus until they decide that they want to keep it, then it magically turns into a "baby". I have also bought into the whole birth control thing, and what is abortion except for late term birth control?
You said something at the end of your post that I found particularly interesting: "What is happening to our system to protect the children"? It isn't up to a "system" to protect our children, it's up to the mother and/or father. The "system" is not a good parent. Parents have to be good parents. When we start to rely on the government to dictate every part of our existence, then we end up having a society that is incapable of doing anything on their own. Mothers murdering their children is a good indication of the mass psychosis that has infected our society.
@Bohemian77 (277)
• United States
13 Feb 09
That's definitely my point. There shouldn't be a "system" beyond the parents. I think govenrment intervention has actually created more of a problem. Thank you for creating a great thread. I prefer to discuss serious issues like this as opposed to how many times a day I brush my teeth :) I wish there were more of these
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
13 Feb 09
Hi Bohemian77..hope you don't mind my butting in here...but the feminist movement has nothing to do with this. Why shouldn't a woman what to seek equal rights as men, equal pay as men? Equal opportunities and yes compete in a "man's world"?? I happen to know very "die-hard" feminist women who are the most nurturing, loving and caring women toward their children and would never think of harming their children, not so much as even give them a spanking let alone killing them. And yes, while it is up to the mother and father to protect their children it is also society that needs to protect children as well. This is especially so in situation where children come from abusive parent situations where maybe the father is abusive NOT the mother...in abusive situations much is "hidden"...sometimes a woman married to an abusive husband and molester of his own children keep silent for fear of harm...this is when society steps in..when teachers or other outside adults notice "signs" of abuse of the children involved...that's when protective organizations step in to help the abused child (children) or wife of the abusive husband
So no you're very wrong to blame Feminist's women for this situation--it society in general
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
13 Feb 09
PS--women who kill their children suffer from severe mental problems..nothing more...and has nothing to do with feminism or a woman wanting to be independent....to believe that is a lot of crap...
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
13 Feb 09
I dont know what to tell you just abunsh of sick mothers out there.
I happens so much here that a mother of boyfriend or father shaking babies till they die some get shot some just dumped in garbage bins.
awful just awful then the parent or wo ever did it just goes to prison.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 09
This is what I mean that is the example I was looking for
But then when there is a serious case it gets ignored and in the cases that have happened the Parents where reported by Neighbors and that because they heard and saw the Child abused but they did nothing
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
13 Feb 09
ok after reading more of this and another post.
I have to say some times intervention is good for the child aslong as they are got out of the home and away from the abuse!BUt then there are the welfare people that really dont know what the hell they are talking about.
Like the time my son had hurt himself playing one night outside and didnt tell me well he went to school then I found out tthey had took him to a doctor and he was so scared that ater the Doctor questioning and questioning him he said his dad had hit him many times. He told me later he was thinking when they play boxed.
WEll I had the welfare lady and the sherrif at my door.
Later that day storming into MY house accusing me and hubby of all orts of thing!.
I had to ask wehre in the world did they come off doing this.
I think they were going to arrest my hubby but thought better of it. after they found he was working and we had no idea that our son was hurt. or that he had been takin to a doctor with out notifing us!.
Our son finally spoke up and told them how scared the Docotr made him feel and that he was thinking of the play boxeing him and his dad did.
and as they found no brusing on him old or new they couldnt do a thing.
After that the school called me every time he got a sniffle!.
I was about to sue the whole bunch of them as they had no reason to do any of this!
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
13 Feb 09
Gabs, unless you walk in these parents' shoes, then I guess you can't know what motivates them to kill their children. They have to have a problem, I agree, and a very large one, and I don't know how the hospitals where the children are born or the Social Services, let the children go to, and stay in an "unsafe" environment. There are too many mistakes being made in the Social Services, usually by people who have been supposedly "trained" in childcare. Hah!!! No training on earth teaches you to understand children when you don't have any! It's all stereotype nonsense.
So really, I don't have an explanation! I would do anything for my kids, even now, just the same as you would, so how these people's minds word is a mystery to me, as I guess it is to many others.
Brightest Blessings, my dear friend. xx
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
13 Feb 09
Yeah... I know the type you mean... married to officers and think they can boss a lesser striped man's wife around. I stood none of that my friend! lol.
As you say, only bringing up children teaches you about them. All the psychological training in the world doesn't come up to parents' scratch. It's all wrong!
2 people like this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
14 Feb 09
I know how you feel, gabs. I get choked up sometimes watching the news as well. It seems that there is just so much of this sort of thing these days. Mothers...killing their babies and getting off by claiming postpartum depression!! I am thinking that I didn't get that because I never had any urge to harm my child. I had 4 and yes, it can be stressfull being a new mom. I know hormones are out of wack and you can get over-tired, etc. Still, you never heard so much of this stuff as you do now. I don't know what it is. I do know that the child protective services are understaffed and overworked. Still it is deeper than that. You never heard of so many cases like this before. They used to be very rare and very shocking. And it wasn't usually deliberate murder. Shaken baby syndrome is so often an overtired, stressed frustrated parent. Doesn't make it right but I have a bit more empathy there. I had one that was very collicky and I remember nites when I only got an hour or so sleep....no help and very sleep depraved. I'll never forget her first smile...it was a full blown giggle. I had had so very very little sleep and I was in tears and still she cried & cried. It'd been going on for weeks at this point. She was my first and I was inexperienced as well. I didn't think I could listen to another minute of her screaming. I'd rocked her, strolled her, fed her, changed her....nothing. she screamed on. I felt I was losing my little mind. Crying myself, I laid her on the couch. I looked at her and said," Girl, do you never get tired of hearing yourself??" She burst into giggles. It was awesome and came just at the right moment. She laughed as uncontrollably as her tears . It was the first decent nites sleep I'd had since she was born almost 3 months previous. All mine are grown now too and are respectful adults except for one ...still at home. I understand all the frustrations but not to the point of killing them. Heck I have been thru alot with them...teen years....didn't spank except for a couple of occassions....don't get it.
2 people like this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
15 Feb 09
You are probably right as to the reasons. We have many young pregnacies here as well. I really don't understand the social workers. Many of these cases have already been looked into by a social worker prior to something like this happening. You really have to wonder why they don't follow up more on these things before something so horrific happens. It makes me sick really. Sometimes, I think the social workers should be charged also...especially when there has been clear signs of abuse and they don't follow thru with something to protect the child.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
14 Feb 09
Blame the 1980's Gabs. That was the "ME" generation. People became so innately selfish that me,me,me became a personal mantra. Then came the 1990's and on and economies faltered and the middle class disappeared. People have very little hope of being secure anymore and as a result, life has very little meaning. Parents are no exception to loss of hope, little value being placed on their children, etc. It's a spreading social disease and as sad as it is, to me it just shows how quickly the world is going to hell on a freight train.
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
15 Feb 09
Not all kids are 'planned' Gabs. People are just too selfish to think about contraception.............
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Feb 09
Some people are just not fit to have children and unfortunately there is no good way to screen for that.
@Stiletto (4579)
•
13 Feb 09
Hi Gabs - I don't understand it either and we just seem to hear more and more of these stories on the news. The shocking thing is that in so many of these cases (in fact most of them) the Social Work depts are already involved but they fail to protect these children. I think they are far too focused on ensuring the children stay with their parents at all costs whether the parents are fit to be around children or not. These children are left with people who I wouldn't trust to look after my cat, let alone a child! And the punishments for child abuse just aren't severe enough - prison with constant protection for their own safety. It's just not enough. We need to get much tougher on these things in this country.
2 people like this
@owlwings (43897)
• Cambridge, England
13 Feb 09
It saddens me, too, the stories one reads and hears. I suspect that we hear more of them because they are vaunted by the media as 'news' (and it does depend on which paper you buy or which channel you watch as to whether it seems to be 'wall to wall' or just another story!)
What we must never forget is that for every story that comes out about child abuse (and murder is just one abuse), there are hundreds (and even thousands) of cases which never make the headlines or even the back page. Very often they don't even come to the notice of social workers or police.
I don't know if there is any real increase in child murder and abuse, as, perhaps, reading the news stories would have us believe. There are (and always have been) far, far more mothers and fathers who are as good as they can be (and often better than they imagine). That is what we need to remember and hold on to. Unfortunately, the 'media' sometimes makes it hard to do that because, after all, a good parent is not 'news'. It is criminality and mental sickness and the misdoings of politicians and 'celebrities' that, apparently, make news.
From what you say, it sounds as though you have not had an easy life and yet, above all that ... all the sadness and abuse you yourself have suffered ... you have somehow managed to find love and joy and to have raised two children who will remember you for that.
You aren't alone - there are many more like you with hearts of gold and many more, too, who will always have their families in their hearts. The people who murder their children and abuse them will always be terribly lonely inside. Let us be thankful that there aren't as many of them as the 'news' suggests.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 09
Hi Owlings
I did not find love till my Children where born, my Marriage was not a good one but again I would go through that H*ll to have my 2 Children, but I do see what you are saying, it has only become so light to me because I suppose I never really used to watch the News, I don't read the Paper lol they bore me
Since all this with young Shannon it seems to me more and more of it
Your Comment above to Bo I agree with you
I did not go much into it as I did not want another war on my Hands here lol I do not know how he came up with All the other Stuff
Thank you Owl
1 person likes this
@blackbriar (9075)
• United States
17 Feb 09
I don't know how a parent can kill their own children either, gabs. I remember when it was all over the news here about a woman who watched her babies drown in a car that her and her boyfriend pushed into a lake with the kids strapped into their car seats. Supposedly he made her do it but I often wonder what was going through her mind while she watched them drown and heard their screams. I had nightmares from reading about it.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
13 Feb 09
I don't know how a parent could hurt a child.
I didn't know if I could be a good parent, do to various reasons, but mostly because I really don't like children, so I chose to not have any.
However, why people that don't seem to like children have them, and then KEEP them is beyond me.
I pray that people who don't want children would give them up to people that do.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
14 Feb 09
At least you have made the right decision
you have not had any because as you say you do not like them
and that is fair enough but there are the ones that will have them just for the Money they get paid from the Social, they are young Parents that are doing this to their own Children
Thanks Elic
2 people like this
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
13 Feb 09
I don't understand this either....I love my kids more then life itself! I would die to protect them! maybe it's because some people weren't cut out to be parents...and still that is no excuse. I remember the story too of a woman who drowned her children in a bathtub...what can possibly go through your mind to be able to do that?
2 people like this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
13 Feb 09
Hi gabs,
I can't understand at all and I am childless, and had long for children, I had three miscarriages and later had a change early in life, so this woman don't derserve to have children and to kill her own child, what was wrong with this monster? even animals care for their youngs and protect them with their lives. i can't understand it. Love and hugs.
Tamara
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
13 Feb 09
Hi gabs~ I know how you feel and it truly upsets me to hear
the terrible things that some "parents" do to their children!
I don't like to even call them parents! There are just too
many sick people out there who don't appreciate what they have.
I never had any children. I would never have treated my
children that way or harmed them in anyway. I would have been
so happy to have them! But, it wasn't meant to be for me. And
sadly the ones that have them don't know how to treat them!
All we can do is pray for the children that they will survive!
I hope that God is watching out for them and sees fit to
punish all those that do them wrong!
2 people like this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
14 Feb 09
I'm not sure what is wrong with the people that kill their children, other then being sociopaths. I do agree that the system is broken. We need a serious over haul of the child protective services system here in the United States. I cannot imagine ever harming my children, and I know if someone else tried something they'd be in huge trouble.
2 people like this
@funnysis (2619)
• United States
1 Mar 09
It is just sicking to hear about crimes like these but how do we stop them,it's always on the news seems like everyday I hear of another child being killed by a mother,father,boyfriend,and so on.I wonder how a person could hurt someone so innocent.Have a great day
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Gabby when I was young and had my son he was such a horrible baby. He cried at the drop of the hat. He cried if I looked at him. He peed on the walls and did all kinds of naughty things. One time I lost it and started kicking him my sister had to pull me off. I lost it, it is something I am not proud of and if she had not been there how far would I have gone to hurting him I cannot say. I just know I was so distraught I could not control myself.
Now with my son having a baby I was afraid he would have a son like himself. I prayed everyday that he would not have a baby like himself. I do not want anyone to go through what I did with him.
So far the baby has some tempter but he is learning to calm down. He cries if you move him when he is comfortable in your arms like when you move him to burp him or change his diapers. He does not like a dirty diaper but does not like to be naked.
He is starting to calm down when you put his new diaper on and when you move him. I sure hope he is not like my son.
