My 12 year old son insist on faking sickness to stay home from school...HELP!
By Pleiades
@Pleiades (846)
United States
February 13, 2009 3:15pm CST
I have a 12 year old son who is a bright lad, but this year alone he's missed out on two weeks of school from various sicknesses. The reason his absences has gotten me worried isn't because of his health, but his lack of enthusiasm for life in general. He's also in Boy Scouts, but that seems to have been left on the back burner with him...like he's not interrested in it anymore. His grades hasn't been that great since we moved from a poor performing school to an excelling. I understand that because of this, he could be feeling the pressures of doing well but he knows that there are people out there willing to help him out.
What I don't like, is being lied to. He knows that he can't go to school if he's expelling fluids so he uses that as an excuse. On mornings of schooling, he'll frequent the bathroom at least three times in 45 minutes. Because of that, I'm forced to believe he's really sick and call him in that day. But, throughout the rest of the day, he's fine. I've even called him on that, telling him he didn't look sick and even adapted something a friend of the children has to go through: if they miss a day of school, they're grounded for a week. I like that and have used that with him.
But, how can I force him to understand that lying to me isn't going to help? He knows sick days are just for that...being sick. I even sent him to school yesterday yet he went to the nurse's office and claimed to have thrown up. I guess he fooled her too because several hours after I brought him home, he was doing well and even playing around. Yeah, I've told him that all this will catch up to him, but he doesn't understand. Even if I do send him to school he knows how to fool the staff.
Suggestions? Ideas?
*Pleiades
1 person likes this
7 responses
@lilaclady (28206)
• Australia
13 Feb 09
There must be some problem I would say, I hated school when I was a kid and I was was always actually making myself sick about it, but my mother wasn't one for letting me stay home, maybe a really good talk to see if there is an underlying problem, kids have a lot of pressures these days...
@Pleiades (846)
• United States
13 Feb 09
Lila, I know that kids are under a lot of pressure these days and I can sympathize with him. Yes, we're in a new neighbourhood and school, but we're in a much better place than we were before. You'd think that would encourage him to do better...but perhaps it's too much for him?
*Pleiades
@zhuhuifen46 (3483)
• China
15 Feb 09
I understand your concern. While searching for solutions for the issue, it is better off not to show your worry on face. Try to talk with him in a nice way to find out if he has any physical or mental uneasiness, and help him enjoy your company in a warm home, and find some class mates you are familiar to shift his reluctance to going schooling. Very often, the causes behind might be scolding by teacher, cannot follow study, complicts or even bullies from classmates, etc. Sometimes, direct solution does not help, you'll have to look around to remove all negative factors home and school, which is tough though.
1 person likes this
@reulin (101)
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
i suggest you need to talk with the school staff especially the school guidance, in that way you'll know what to do, but please don't your son that you'd talk to them coz he might do more excuses more than what you expect. and try to talk to him. ask him why is he doing it in a very calm and nice way of conversation. i guaranty you that you will know why he's doing all those things. but you're right, transferring him is quite difficult for him. maybe somebody bullied him or teasing him..just have a pep talk with your son okey...i don't want you to end up just what happened between me and my son...okey....take care and goodluck!
1 person likes this
@pickwick (858)
• India
14 Feb 09
Being a teacher I have this sort of problem many times in my school.There must be something irking him.Just try to find out from school by talking to his teacher and his friends.Counseling can be resorted to if nothing comes out.Is the child overburdened with academics?Checking that out will also help.
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@dmrone (746)
• United States
15 Feb 09
Maybe there is something going on at school that is making him physically sick to even think about going. Maybe you could try to go to school with him one day and see how thing are going at school. Maybe it is a teacher, or another student. If you can go with him to school and he does fine, then talk to him about the sickness. If he continues to fake sickness, then make him stay at home in the bed. Don't let him play a game system, if he has one. Make him read a book, or work on what the class was working on the day before in school.
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@Jae2619 (1482)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I would have to say he's having a hard time dealing with your move and this is his way of showing you. He is probably feeling like he don't fit in and having a hard time making new friends, this can be a very hard thing to deal with. Try talking with his teachers and see if they can help you out any. Sit him down and have a good heart to heart, because something is bothering him if he's putting everything on the back burner that he once enjoyed, which could possibly be from the move and him not feeling like he fits in. Change can be on of the hardest things on a child. My 6 year old can not handle it at all. He get's majorly upset to change. So we have to slowly work out way into it with him.. if we know something has to change in our lifestyle we start weeks in advance talking with him trying to get him to understand the change so when it happens he can accept it a little bit better.
Some children act out, as maybe your son is doing... try to be patient with him and just mainly ask him what is his problem, and how can you help him fix it, if possible.
Best wishes.
1 person likes this
