Adjustment Period

Husband and Wife - Husband and Wife with their tounges waggling as they yell at each other.
Philippines
February 13, 2009 8:24pm CST
Me and my wife has been married for more then two years now. And i think the fist two years was the worst part of our married life. With the simplest misunderstanding, we started to fight and yell at each other. Several times that i choose to sleep rather than discuss things, that has been discussed before, as we go on around circles. Fortunately, after two years of adjustment, the fighting and yelling is not as intense and as frequent as before. I notice that all concerns is settled before we go to bed. Of course there are still some arguments that would go on to the next day but that is very seldom. How about you and your spouse?
2 people like this
11 responses
@jillhill (37379)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I am not married....I am divorced....but my sister gives all our nephews and nieces a piece of advice when they get married and she has been married for over 30 years....You have to learn to not always say what is on your mind....sometimes silence is golden!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Feb 09
Yes, we tend to hurt our lovedones with the thing we say when we get angry that is why i really opted to be quite everytime we argue. We can rationalize things when the heat is off. Thanks!
@mobhomeir (7565)
• Philippines
14 Feb 09
Hello lionheart..same here friend. Better for you, you already got adjusted after a couple of years..for us it took 3 to 4 years before we adjusted our each attitudes. Since I am the older than my wife, my adjustment are always "push on the wall" but sometimes you got irritated and you can't hold your temper, the most is my wife because she's a nagger type...shhhh don't tell to anyone okay..that would be just between us okay? thanks friend. That's an interesting topic...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Feb 09
It takes two to Tango, as the saying goes. The solution should come from both sides. And i am very thankful that my wife also did a lot of adjustments to make things work for us. Thank you also my friend. Don't worry i won't tell anybody about it... He he :)
1 person likes this
@marketing07 (6266)
• South Korea
14 Feb 09
hello my friend..it was a good question..i marry my husband without knowing the tradition, culture and of course the language barriers..i struggle too much on the first 3 or 4 yrs of married life ..cuz i cant express what i wanted too..knowing their culture, tradition and language makes me feel comfortable now..as i can yell with him..and tell what i wanted to..we fight a lot before, but now we discuss things first before we sleep and who ever started the misunderstanding will do the apology first..have a nice day
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Feb 09
I wonder how hard it is to express or tell him what you feel if you have different language. But, obviously, you did made the adjustment and i am happy for your family. Always take care, my friend, and God Bless. Thanks for responding. :)
• United States
14 Feb 09
My husband and I were good friends for 6 years before we got married. I think that helped with our communication. It's not that we don't have the occassional misunderstanding though. I think all couples experience this from time to time. It's not so much that you have them, but what you do about them and how you handle them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Feb 09
I totally agree with that. And i can say that we have learned to handle things maturely since we discuss our issues calmly.
@sedel1027 (17851)
• United States
14 Feb 09
Maybe it was different for us since we lived together before hand, but we didn't have any problems transitioning from non-married to married. My husband and I get along very good, we both have excellent communication skills so we talk almost everything out. We rarely fight.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Feb 09
Well, that's what they call chemistry. Congratulations!
• China
15 Feb 09
i have married four years, my personal opinion it's hard part to live with another person although you love him, there are many different between us,e.g. live habit detail.so i can understand.
1 person likes this
@pillusch (1148)
• Mexico
14 Feb 09
I believe that the most important part in your post is the fact that you don't go to bed with an argument still in your mind. It's like when people go to bed when they are extremly cold. You're supposed to warm up first, and then go to bed. It's the same with a cold in our minds.
1 person likes this
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
14 Feb 09
It is wonderful that you guys has come to the realization that arguing does not solve problems are make conscious decision. But always remember that it is good to cool down and seek solutions with clear heads.
1 person likes this
@bamrahkirti (1824)
• India
14 Feb 09
We have been married for the past two years and we have been doing great with each other.Ours was an arranged marriage and you can say that we have started to communicate freely with each other after marriage.We both are working and have busy schedules ,so we hardly get the time to fight or yell at each other but we do fight and misunderstandings do crop in but these are not very intense and deep.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Feb 09
i am not married yet, but this is almost identical to the situation i'm in with my boyfriend. we used to do that and it has started to get much better, like you sya. it used to be like we're so sensitive to each others' opinions that we would flip out over something minor and go to bed angry. we're much more understanding and calm with each other now, and it's worlds better :)
• Philippines
14 Feb 09
my husband and i seldom fight. i never yell at him and he never yell at me no matter how bad we got into each others nerves. I cant remember us fighting over something big. most of our fights are petty. if there are misunderstandings, i usually keep quiet and so does he. we let all the steam off first. we dont confront each other at the peak of our emotions coz we know that we say hurtful things that we dont usually mean when we are really pissed off. but we see to it that when we calm down, we discuss everything. we never go to sleep mad at each other....thats how it is with us from the day we got married until now, we'll be celebrating our 5th year anniversary on May.=) we dated for 9 long years, we are so familiar with each other. I never felt the need to adjust much when we got married.