Accepting an excuse or an explanation.

@alokn99 (5717)
India
February 17, 2009 12:53am CST
When we are wronged, we expect an apology. When we set some instructions/rules or some principles we do not expect deviation from them.But when that happens we seek an explanation. To some the apology/explanations just do not seem to be satisfying enough and to some it's better to have any reason than to have silence. When do you find an excuse acceptable ? Are you one who easily accepts an explanation or an excuse ?
5 people like this
12 responses
@mimpi1911 (25475)
• India
24 Feb 09
It works both ways for me Alok. In case of my close ones, family or friends I would go to the crux of the matter and make their lives hell until they confess the truth. Its more about telling me the truth than being apologetic. And then, I would let go. Its up to the person then and his wish. Sometimes actions speak louder than words and even when he person does not apologise his action speaks about it. I would be normal again. On the contrary, in job place or in professional atmosphere, I rather not ask for explanation. I would maintain the decorum and decency and would let the person know through my attitude and gestures that I am unhappy.If he come forward to give an explanation, he is most welcome but most probably I would behave in an extremely professional way. May be await his written apology. Having said this, I have never been into practical experience as of now so this is based on assumption.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25475)
• India
24 Feb 09
Sorry I digressed! I find it extremely hard to accept an apology if it comes from an unreliable person. On the other hand, even if someone I know is sorry doesn't express it, I know that he actually is and I would be normal.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
24 Feb 09
It's more about knowing the truth Mimpi. And i believe intat as well,for the simple reason that it's easier for people to apologise then to give the truth. Accepting and revealing the truth makes one more responsible and the person is not likely to repeat the same mistake again. In a professional situation, a proper and simple explanation would be most apt and here again it is about sincerity. Thanks for the great response.
@mimpi1911 (25475)
• India
24 Feb 09
The person who can be blatant with the truth has already started to work on his wrongdoings. And he becomes a better person and try to learn fro his mistakes. This is something more than asking for apology. What's the use of it when you are not repentant! Its not just about a few words!
1 person likes this
@balasri (26549)
• India
24 Feb 09
I want to be very frank Alok.I hate excuses and explanations. I can readily accept an apology.I am sorry I have done a mistake will do.A person who believes that he can get away with excuses is a pain .He never learns and always is at the look out for excuses.And who need s the excuses and explanations which is taxing on us and our timeour time.
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@balasri (26549)
• India
25 Feb 09
Saves a lot of pain.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
25 Feb 09
It does. Thanks again.
@neha2k94u (408)
• India
17 Feb 09
Well, though I never expect something from anyone but as it is concerned with one or two dearest ones, I dont want any explanation/apology for something bad they do to me, just if they say sorry for that, I am all right, Mutual understanding is very important in relations. I dont let anything come in between. What about you...
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@alokn99 (5717)
• India
17 Feb 09
Me. As far as personal relationships and friends go i'm more or less the way the way you have described yourself. On a professional level and with people i don't associate myself a lot with , i would try to ascertain the genuiness and the sincerity behind the excuse/explanation given at the same time getting the message across that i'm not very amenable on it and don't expect to hear too much of it again. Thanks for the response.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Feb 09
and that is definitely the best way to go about the relations.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
19 Feb 09
Yes coolmailraj. Thanks
@ronharold (555)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
I easily accept excuses and explanation. It really doesn't matter to me if you wrong me now but what i expect from you later is the change your going to commit after the explanation you provided.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
12 Mar 09
What happens if the change does not happen ? Thanks
@CJay77 (4438)
• Australia
24 Feb 09
Hi alokn! I accept the explanation if it make sense and if I can see sincerity with the person. But I guess, sometimes it is hard to tell if the person is sincere, specially if you don't know them well.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
24 Feb 09
It gets easier to accept if see the sincerity behind it. With people we do not know very well, it's difficult and we either give them the benefit of the doubt or do not. Thanks Cjay.
@aprilten (1966)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
I think we can feel when a person's explanation/excuse is acceptable. So, if I feel his sincerity then I will accept his excuse.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
18 Feb 09
I think we can judge on most times as to whether it was sincere or not. Thanks
@wxx0418 (44)
• China
18 Feb 09
i think there's no ever enemy. If he or she is kind from their heart. sometimes, they do just for youself. But they adopted the wrong ways, perhaps deviated from you, you may get irrated. At the satat, you need get angry with them, but i believe you will get smooth after some days. if one alway oppose with you, he/she is helping you superficially, in fact, she is opposing you.i think I can't accept this kind of excuse.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
18 Feb 09
Thanks for the response and have a great day.
@Lindery (853)
• Latvia
17 Feb 09
I prefer an explanation, I like honest people and even if the explanation won't be a nice things to hear I still prefer to know it. I am not OK only with an excuse because I can't understand the point and if I don't know the reason I can't accept the excuse.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
18 Feb 09
If we know with some surety that the people are honest then it becomes that much easier for us to accept the explanation. Thanks
@coolmailraj (2461)
• India
17 Feb 09
I do not expect apologies or explanations but do accept them when they do arise. Life is not a discrete place where if something happens then anything else can't and that is why we may come across things that are not as we wanted them to be but are there and we have to do with them.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
17 Feb 09
I like that last part of your philosphical way of looking at it. Thanks for the response.
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
17 Feb 09
I have 2 different attitudes to things like this actually. The first being related to work and the second in regards to my personal life. I am far more tolerant of excuses in my personal life than I am at work! When it comes to personal situations, my level of tolerance is generally directly influenced by the level of sincerity behind the apology or excuse. If there's a lack of sincerity, then I have practically no patience at all to be honest. As for work, well my approach and subsequent attitude here is quite straightforward really. For example, I will discuss a particular task with a team or an individual and will then ask THEM when they expect it to be finished. I will then negotiate a slightly faster timeframe and seek an honest acceptance of these terms. If after all of this, they miss the deadline and then try to offer excuses and/or apologies, then the proverbial crap pretty much hits the fan! I believe my approach is very fair, so if they have made a committment then I expect it to be realized. After all, it's THEM that have given me the original timeframe and not me forcing one on them, so there's really no reason at all for excuses!
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
17 Feb 09
The attitudes like you say are different when it comes to personal and professional areas James. And yes the sincerity behind the excuses/explanations really matters. Thanks for the great response.
1 person likes this
@forslahiri (1042)
• India
17 Feb 09
Hi, To answer your question,myself do not encourage accepting excuse.When one thing is accepted to deliver,excuse of not delivering it within time-frame is an excuse only.Which is not acceptable.We may analyse the 'genuine reason'(sudden sickness/accident etc),if any, later and accept apology for the same.But if it happens frequently,then again it is 'excuse'.You can derive which is an excuse and which not, from your experience and attitude of ur people u r dealing with. =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
17 Feb 09
Our experiences will definitely help us in determining those excuses or explanations which are acceptable or not. Thanks Lahiri.
• Janesville, Wisconsin
17 Feb 09
I find explanations alright, as long as they are true and honest, and not made up. To me excuses mean something is just making up a fake explanation to escape something. Many times, I have had hard things hit me on and off like dominos since the year 1999 things went downhill more and more in my life... goes up a little down more... People do not understand or want to accept my explainations because one my life is weird, or two they do not believe my family and living situation ever got as bad as it did.. three they think I make things up because I seem to have the X-Files director had to have paired up with G-d to write my life that is how bizarre it is... So, my simple true explainations often are people yelling at me for making up lies,excuses, and bullstuff... But, I am sorry I had not had the pleasure to have a normal life like others but since I do not.. I am done giving explainations to anyone who starts the line out. "Don't make excuses" .. - DNatureofDTrain
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
17 Feb 09
That 's another side of the coin really where people do not try to make the effort to try and undestand the reasoning given to them. Some are suspicious by nature and some just do not want to listen. Live the life the way you want friend.No need to give explanations to those who do not want to listen to you. They only tend to make things worse. Thanks for the response. Appreciate it.