Should I add My SIL to friends on Facebook?

United States
February 19, 2009 3:40pm CST
I was browsing around Facebook the other day and came across my husband's sister's profile. I saved it to favorites, but haven't added her yet. I showed it to my hubby, but he didn't add her either. We haven't exactly had a good relationship with her for awhile now. We actually haven't spoken to her in probably a couple years. We didn't exactly have a falling out or anything, it's just she's got this attitude of she's better than everyone, and only wants to assosciate herself with people who have money and good jobs, etc etc. She doesn't speak to her parents anymore because they're poor and embarass her. I've really never gotten along with her, and my husband is pretty mad at her for what she's done to his parents (even though he's about to do the same thing, but for different reasons.) Anyways, I don't know, I just have this overwhelming urge to add her as a friend. I should probably just forget about it, but I don't know. What do you think? What would you do?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@gemini_rose (16264)
15 Apr 09
If the relationship is like that between you then I would not bother adding her, she does not sound like a nice person by what you have said here so I would not feel obligated to add her!! If you add her she might only end up winding you up by what she puts in her status etc, I have a girl on my facebook who really does my head in because she loves herself hehe!!
• United States
15 Apr 09
Well I haven't added her, and I haven't bothered to try looking for her again in awhile. I don't think my husband would be pleased if I added her at this point, because who knows if she's talking to his parents anymore, and what she might tell them. She could get to all the pics of my kids and show them off to the in laws. We don't need any of that, so I'm just going to leave it alone!
@GreenMoo (11834)
28 Feb 09
So why would you want to add her as a friend if she's not someone you want to associate with? I'm confused! I guess I've just never 'got' the Facebook thing!
• United States
28 Feb 09
I don't know... out of curiosity I guess.
• United States
22 Feb 09
Think of it this way, would she add you? If she wouldn't consider it then you're probably just wasting your time. She obviously has her own life and if she won't speak to her parents or brother than she has some issues going on. Family is the most important thing in the world and someday she will regret her decisions. If you want to try to reach out to her and open her eyes go for it but don't be upset if she doesn't respond. Good luck.
• United States
22 Feb 09
I don't really know if she'd add me, she might, but not to keep in touch, she'd do it to try to brag or show off what she has in her life, which in my opinion is nothing worth bragging about. But that's just how she is.
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
21 Feb 09
That is a tough question. I am not a member of facebook. I enjoy using gather.com. I have so many connections on there that it is hard to keep up with them all. I guess you will have to follow your heart. Can you take her off your friend list if it does not work out?
• United States
21 Feb 09
Yes, I can always remove her if I want to, not a problem.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I probably wouldn't add her if I were in your position. There are actually a few family members of mine on Facebook that I did not request because I really don't like them. One of them requested me the other day and I did accept, but we have not communicated.
• United States
20 Feb 09
If she requested my friendship I'd probably accept, just out of curiosity, and the main reason I want to add her is out of curiosity, just to see what would happen.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
21 Feb 09
I don't see any reason why you would want to add her. Everything you said says no. If you don't want her know about certain things going on in your life that she might be able to find out about on Facebook then I would not add her.
• United States
21 Feb 09
I'm not the type who hides things from people, so I don't care what she learns about me from my Facebook profile, there's nothing too intimate there anyways except for my IM address, no phone number, no actual address, nothing else. All she'd see is pics of my family. But you're right, we don't get along so no real reason to add her aside from curiosity, but she knows where we are and if she wanted to contact us she could.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
19 Feb 09
Well, I don't know. I probably wouldn't add her. If you add her then she will see everything you do on facebook. Not that you do bad things lol, but I just wouldn't want someone I didn't get along with seeing everything I do. I probably wouldn't blame her for how she feels about her parents. From all that you have said about them she probably had good reason to dump them, not just because they don't have money. Chances are though she knows you have a profile and she didn't add you either so maybe just let it alone. If she wants to reconnect with you guys then let her be the one to make the first move.
• United States
19 Feb 09
She had different reasons for alienating her parents, and they were a lot pettier than our reasons, at least in my opinion. And she isn't really the type to make the first move. Chances are she hasn't looked for us on Facebook, she probably doesn't figure we're on there. I'm not sure what she'd do if she saw us, if she'd try to add us or not. I don't know. You're right, I don't do anything bad on Facebook, and I have no problem with her seeing what's there. I don't have my profile set to private, so she can look at it all she wants without being my friend.
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
19 Feb 09
If you don't get along enough to call, talk, or visit her, I'd leave it alone. You may be sorry you put her as a friend on there. There are lots of people I would not add to my facebook! And one of them is a SIL.
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
19 Feb 09
I don't think I would. The biggest reason I haven't joined Facebook is because I don't want people that aren't really my friends in my business. I hear so many 'dramas' between adults because of Facebook I just don't want any part of it. 'OH MY GOD, did you SEE so and so's status, can you BELIEVE that?' is not something that people in there 30's should ever say, ya know? If you feel like she thinks you aren't 'good enough' in her eyes then don't add her, why would you want someone like that combing through all your stuff? Some of my in laws are the kind of women who would sit there for an entire evening going through every little piece of info and picture on someone's page and judge, judge, judge everything. I just wouldn't want to be subjected to that. But, if you don't feel there is any info or pics on there for her to be all smug and judgmental about then it isn't such a big deal.
• United States
20 Feb 09
I have loads of info and pics on my Facebook, but I don't really care much about what other's think, you know. I don't care if they're judging me or whatever. And honestly I don't think my SIL is the type to spend her day scouring through my profile to find things to judge me on. I think the main reason I want to add her is just curiosity, like would she actually accept my friend request, and would she try to make conversation if we were friends on there, ya know?
• United States
19 Feb 09
i tossed around the idea of adding my boyfriends dad. i ended up doing it but my boyfriend didn't. i sent him a message that told him that it was just to keep him updated on picture of our daughter.