Overbearing Parents and Grandparents
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
United States
February 19, 2009 11:04pm CST
I'm wondering about what creates this cycle in parents? Is it something we learned, is it that we want to recapture our youth and live vicariously through our children, or is it something completely different?
I think about those parents and grandparents that spent their entire life critiquing the things their children and grandchildren do, trying to control every aspect of their life. Why the need for the control? I mean, telling your child or grandchild that you wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit, well what does that say? Why not just live your life and encourage your child and grandchild to live their life? I'm not saying there should not be rules. I'm saying there does not need to be a critique every day, nor should they have to be like you.
Thoughts?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@zweeb82 (5652)
• Malaysia
20 Feb 09
Well, through my observations, it's very simple - what one does not have, one cannot give? Maybe they themselves did not receive enough love & encouragement & they're just repeating like wise of what they've picked up? So I guess we can make a difference by not following their footsteps yet at the same time understand them & show them the love they need? Just a thought indeed
1 person likes this
Thanks for the Best Response!~ Didn't see that coming!~ Thanks again!~
@zweeb82 (5652)
• Malaysia
20 Feb 09
Well, through my observations, it's very simple - what one does not have, one cannot give? Maybe they themselves did not receive enough love & encouragement & they're just repeating like wise of what they've picked up? So I guess we can make a difference by not following their footsteps yet at the same time understand them & show them the love they need? Just a thought indeed
1 person likes this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
20 Feb 09
Those are very good thoughts to consider. Thank you for sharing. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
21 Feb 09
I think a lot of parents don't even realize it. My mom thinks she was very encouraging and never said anything but encouraging and positive things and would never tell us what to do. But she does this all the time.
Hopefully its not something parents just slip into.
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
21 Feb 09
It is, but the wonderful thing is that the positive communication and reinforcement you and your husband give can counteract that. Although you may eventually want to say something because sometimes a negative outweighs and is more firmly ingrained than a positive in the impressionable years.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
21 Feb 09
I've witnessed my mom doing it with my neices, and it really bothers me. I mean, bad enough she did it with me, but to continue the cycle it's aggrevating. Thanks for responding. Namaste-Anora
