February 20, 2009 10:42pm CST
have you heard of this term before? it was popularized in a tv series (s3x and the city) but it was coined way before the show used it. it's supposed to mean friends who are enemies. hehe, i know, it doesn't take much to decipher its meaning. ^_^ do you have frenemies? do you have friends who constantly berrate you for, say, the way you dress or the way you speak? do you have friends who seem to love contradicting you? do you have close friends who end up competing with you all the time? do you have "friends" who act more like enemies, yet you're still friends with them anyway?
3 people like this
21 Feb 09
I had a "friend" like that. I am not friends with her anymore because I finally reached the end of my tether one day. I haven't seen her for many years. We were friends around 15 years ago. She is one of those people who are terribly insecure and get gratification from putting others down so they can feel better about themselves. She was very unsure of herself and everything was always fine providing things were done her way and nobody was showing her up in any way. Nowadays I can' believe what I put up from her! She would turn vicious if someone ever paid me a compliment or if she felt I looked nicer than her at any given time. The arguments we had were too silly to mention; the stuff she used to get upset about was trivial nonsense and would generally start when she did not feel great about herself. We would make up after a fight and she would say something along the lines of, "It's not your fault you don't know how to be a friend" (!@@??) To cut a very long story short, everyone has limits including me. I cut off all contact from her a while ago. The way I see it she came into my life and taught me valuable lessons including how not be a friend!
21 Feb 09
wow. i think i've had a friend like that, too! that friend of yours makes me want to bare my teeth! *growl* don't you find it weird that psycho behavior aside, this friend is probably "friendly" to your in other respects? i think that's what makes things a little bit more complicated. the fact that someone can be a real friend one moment, then morph into an enemy the next. it's good you got rid of your frenemy. she must have really gotten under your skin! to hear her insult you must be bothersome especially because we are sure to value our friends' criticisms. again, i'm very happy she's gone for good. ^_^
• United States
22 Feb 09
Actually, my kind of "frenemy" tends to be people who're on the opposite side of things than I am...who I can't at all agree with their methods (and obviously, vice versa), or choices, but whom I like alot. I've had a few. It's actually plenty beneficial, 'cause though we're always tying to entice the other to the other side...it teaches me that tolerance is possible for anybody, and it keeps me open and humble. Our open critisism of eachother comes with a grain of salt and is taking humorously, almost casually I write books too, so often I take this more literal. Having people be friends on two sides of a war and such...because it's a fun concept (even though I never even watched a single episode of that show! haha).
• United States
22 Feb 09
I would like to say it is as simple as cutting those people out of your life. Somehow they always seem to end up in a circle of your friends so you cannot avoid them unless you want to dump the entire circle. And you can't try to get the rest of the circle to dump them because some of them like the frenemy better than you and then it will backfire. I like to say things like "I've never been so offended" or "How could you say something like that?" where I let everyone know that i don't appreciate the rude comments.