First time pregnancy at an advanced age...

@kissieme (777)
Philippines
February 23, 2009 12:44pm CST
I am turning 31 this year and my biological clock had been ticking for the past few years and unfortunately I haven't gotten to the point where I can have a family of my own and have kids. I had been waiting for the right guy before and now I found him, He's thousands of miles away waaaaaah! To tell the truth, and embarrassing though it may be, I've never been intimate with anyone yet. I am in the point where I wanted to have a baby (Pronto! lol) but yeah with my circumstances, I'm still waiting to be with my man lol... I'm scared that I am getting old though I don't look or feel like it. But the frightening one is to get pregnant at an advanced age.I've heard that it is hard to get pregnant at a later age and when it does happen, it is risky for the first time moms not to mention the susceptibility to breast cancer and stuff like those... Can you give me ideas about this thing? Thank you so much and God bless...^_^
3 people like this
15 responses
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
9 Mar 09
Coincidentally, i'm already 29, though i don't look like my age either, much younger, i still don't have a kid. We only differ because i went intimate with some of my girlfriends. Are you in Manila? Maybe we should meet up then settle this once and for all. Lol! Just kidding! Don't worry, just don't think too much about it. Later on in life, when you're already a mom, you'll just laugh thinking about this desperation.
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
I feel like asking for your Friendster account. Lol!
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
9 Mar 09
gah! do i sound desperate? toink! hahaha. yeah I am somewhat lol but I still have my sanity lmao. And I can wait for my angel to come and get me when he comes here... yep, in manila and always busy working lol. I don't look my age either, people always mistake me for 21 or 23. and at some when I'm in a really chirspy mood and I look happy, some says I look like a college stude hahaha. bleh! I always say, "nah1 you just say that cuz I'm tiny..." lol
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
9 Mar 09
I mean chirpy* PS... and you are right. When i get to be a mom and I look back at this, I'd probably rolling on the floor laughing hehehe
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
24 Feb 09
Advanced age here for pregnancy is in your 40s, so you have time. I met most of the men I've known to date in school or by exploring my interests and hobbies. Like Martial Arts, Civil Air Patrol (where I met my husband), etc. The risks are more for the child in advanced age. If you search March of Dimes, they can tell you more. How to prevent many birth defects. That would be where I would start. Take care.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
6 Mar 09
Thank you very much, I appreciate best response, surprized, thank you. March of Dimes site, hopefully will come up: www.marchofdimes.com tells about preventing some birth defects and about having a healthy pregnancy, I hope you get time to check it out. So you want to go to the USA, find a guy here? Thanks and take care
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
25 Feb 09
wow! thanks friend. you can be sure I'll search for March of Dimes. Yeah, I worry about that risk for the baby. that's why waiting is kinda making me itch to grow wings and fly out to US if it's possible lol... Thank you for the info... hugs... ^_^
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
7 Mar 09
Hi... thank you I checked it out and there are lots of info there... I already put it in my faves hahaha... uhm as for going to US, well, I wanted to because my bf is there.. I'll sacrifice being away from my family just for love hahaha... my family understands that and they wanted me to be happy ^_^ I'm scared of going to another country but I will overcome all those just be with the guy I love hee hee... thanks writersedge... ^_^
1 person likes this
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
23 Feb 09
It's not a big deal until you are in your late 30's. I think 35 is when the risk of problems starts to go up. But lots of women have babies after that, even in their 40's. It's not as risky as it used to be because of advances in medicine and prenatal care. Just take good care of yourself, see your doctor and follow any advice he or she gives you regarding your health and how to have a healthy pregnancy.
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
23 Feb 09
Thank you, I will keep that in mind.I had thought that with the developing medical facilities and better prenatal cares, there are still unavoidable risks but you;re right, i have to be more positive about this... talk about me being a scaredy cat... =P I wanna have a baby lol... well, babies! hahaha
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I had my kids at 35 and 38. I have a girlfriend now who is 44 and recently found out she was pregnant. If you have good prenatal care and are healthy there is no reason why you can't have a normal pregnancy. You are only 31 so you still relatively young. I think the biggest drawback to having a baby later in life is at the school PTA meetings, where all the moms seem so much younger. Good luck to you!
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
wow! thanks Di. yeah I know what you mean when you are in a pta meeting and most moms there are younger than you are... my mom experienced that too when my lil bro is still in elementary... she's 43 when she had to attend PTAs for my bro ^_^
@koalatbs (2229)
• United States
24 Feb 09
Hi kissieme - Well, first off hon... you aren't at an advanced age yet! Don't worry, you have plenty of time to find the right man and settle down to have a family. Actually, you mentioned that you have finally found the right guy but he is thousands of miles away. I see you live in the Philippines. Where is the guy?! :) This happened to me too and I am now married to him!
@koalatbs (2229)
• United States
24 Feb 09
That is neat kissieme! I live in the U.S. also. My husband is from Jordan and was living there when we met online. He eventually moved to Michigan to live with his uncle who lives there and then after about a year we were talking more & more on the phone. My cell bill one month was almost $500 and then we knew we had to do something! We hadn't met face to face yet but he moved from Michigan, packed everything he could fit into his car and drove down to Virginia to live with me. That was 5 years ago and now we will be married 5 years come May! So, it can happen! I'm living proof and there are a lot of others out there who had long distance relationships that worked out too. Just be careful! How did you two meet?
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
hello Koalatbs... I guess I'm still young hahaha but lots of women still prefer to have a family at a younger age and looking back at my HS and college friends, i got really way behind on that department lol. And yes I'm a Filipina... ^_^ And my bf is from US... I'm glad you and your guy ended up together. I just hope ours will make it and be able to make our plans of having a family come true... though we had talked about some plans of having a baby or two lol... thanks koalatbs ^_^... God bless to you and your family... ^_^
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
25 Feb 09
wow! we met online too... We haven't met personally but we've been seeing each other online for two years. just this day, I asked him to forgo the visit he planned to have this May too because of unfortunate circumstances on his part of the world. so I have to wait for that baby, too lol. In love, there are sacrifices to be made. I love this guy a lot. lol so yeah. Congratulations! thank you for sharing koalatbs. this means a lot to me... ^_^
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Feb 09
31 is certainly not an advanced age. The doctors do consider a first pregnancy after 35 or so to be a 'geriatric pregnancy'. And some risks, such as the possibility of having a Down's syndrome baby, do increase with age. My first pregnancy was at 38 and my second was at 42. I didn't have any problem getting pregnant either time and I didn't have any serious problems with either pregnancy. But some people do, so I don't want to downplay it.
@koalatbs (2229)
• United States
24 Feb 09
Hi dawnald - It is nice to hear that you had your first at 38 and second at 42. I have a 14 year old son from my first marriage. I am remarried for five years now and we do want to have children together, but I'm now 39. My husband is 33 but it really doesn't matter as much for the man. I've been nervous about even thinking of getting pregnant now. I'm glad it worked well for you. It makes me feel a little more at ease. Jill
1 person likes this
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
thank you dawnald. I caught that term from one of the materials I searched online a while ago. although I'm getting more confident about this issue, I still have a bit of concern on having risks on the future baby... But I'm going to take extra measures about my health first just to make sure everything will be ok when the time comes... ^_^ Thank you so much, dawnald... God bless... ^_^
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
3 Mar 09
It's always God's grace kissie. I wish you the best. But everybody else here said it's nothing to be scared about because of the advanced medical care and prenatal care. Just take care of yourself and get the best doctor and of course, prayers. Hmmmm....never been intimate with someone, huh? So I think you could relate to the sealed cheeseburger! LOL
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
3 Mar 09
modstar loves cheeseburgers but I never thought he'd equate that to a female V! Tsk....tsk... I never thought saying "anything sealed" could stir up such imagination. LOL
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
thanks Theresa... hahaha so that's what the sealed cheeseburger is all about hahaha. oh my goodness! lolllll
• India
24 Feb 09
I think you should draw the line at 35, beyond that it just might by risky, you never know. They say that the eggs mature with our age and aged eggs are not surely in the prime of their health to produce the desired healthy baby. Its all very true but nothing is certian...you may as well have a perfect baby at 40 but the chances of deformity are also there. So hurry up, you have only 4 years left
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
OH yesh! I will hurry up... ^_^ I have checked some of the parenting sites and they have positive comments on late parenting... As for the risks of having unhealthy babies, I hope it will not happen.I'll be more careful on what I do or eat starting now. I am healthy but I'll try to be healthier to lessen or avoid 100% of the risks invovlved in late pregnancies when the time comes... Thanks, friend.... ^_^
@cheenlly (3477)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
Oh gosh! same feeling here. I am in the point of my life which i am wanting to have a baby. I am nearly on my 30's and i am also worried about getting pregnant at an advance age. I have found the right man and we are miles apart too and we still don't know yet the exact time that we are going to be together to finally be as one coz there's still a lot of things to prepare. Probably it will a year from now and honestly i really wanted us to have a baby though it frightens me but i am certain i am very much like to have my own baby. I've been taking care and see my nieces and nephews grew as well as God childs but i haven't got my own. So i am pretty much pressure by all things around me including my age.
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
Glad you had responded kabayan ^_^ Yeah, same here... I am on the point where I wanted to settle down with my one and only and have babies lol... and late pregnancy espcially if it's the first can be daunting. It's been known that there are risks involved but the previous responses given to me were right. We've got more advance techs, facilities and medicines to make this issues possible. Plus trying to get ourselves fit and healthy are important to lessen or avoid the risk 100%... so Let's be mroe positive... ^_^ Thanks for responding... God bless... ^_^
@kaka135 (14921)
• Malaysia
24 Feb 09
I am turning 30 years old this year, and I'm going to deliver my first baby in a few day time. Well, I've been reading some pregnancy books, saying it's actually having higher risk when the pregnant women are at age 35 and above, also it doesn't matter whether you are first time pregnant or not, as long as you are pregnant when you are above 35 years old, there is certain risk. But it doesn't mean that you can carry your baby well, just that perhaps you need to take extra care when you are pregnant and also you may need to do some testing for the baby, as the baby may have more health problems.
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
thank you kaka... I think so since I've been reading up a lot of materials after I started this discussion and found out more about having babies at 30s and above. Yep, since modern techs are already developed to see if the growing fetus is healthy or not thru prenatal check ups and ultrasounds. it's good. I'm feeling more confident in getting preggy hahaha. And I'll just make sure I'm healthier starting from now... ^_^ By the way, congratulations! And good luck to your delivery... kiss the coming babe for me woot!
@maximax8 (31055)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb 09
My mum didn't get married until her early thirties. My sister was born when my mum was 34 years old and that in those days was considered quite old to be having a first baby. However she had her second baby that is myself when she was 39 years old. My sister has four children and she had them at ages 30, 33, 35 and 39 years old. I was 22 when I had my first baby but 34 when I had my second baby. One of my friends had her first baby at age 39 and she got pregnant again three months later. So both her children have May birthdays. Every lady is different and some get pregnant quickly and others take some time. A lady might have more difficulty getting pregnant after age 35. The risk for having a baby with down syndrome increases with the age of the mother. One of my friends had a down syndrome baby at age 34 and then a normal baby at age 36. She goes to a club and one lady had a down syndrome baby when she was 22 years old. Good luck becoming a mother. I think you have sometime yet if you want to wait a few years.
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
oh wow! that's good... btw, I'm sorry for the late reply.I'm actually doing this while at work lol. multi-tasking hee hee... And yeah, I have a friend who got married at 34 and they had a hard time trying to get pregnant. After 7 years, they had given up and they are considering adoption this year. That's what I'm most afraid of =p .. but since every woman is biologically different, then maybe I'd be able to have one or two... ^_^ Thank you for your encouragement, maximax... ^_^
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
23 Feb 09
I know I've always heard that there are more risks involved when a woman has a baby at a later age, and it may be true, but things are advancing more and more, and there are alot more older women having babies these days. I know this lady that has two girls they are healthy, she's healthy, she had her first one at age 41 and her second one at age 44. She didn't think she wanted children when she was younger, but she changed her mind, and had two beautiful healthy girls. So don't give up, it'll happen for you.
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
41? 0_0 wow! yay! I truly hope so... thank you, walijo... I'm sorry for the late reply... God bless... ^_^
@mammamuh (582)
• Sweden
24 Feb 09
Here in Sweden the age for getting their first child is almost 30 - so many women gets their first baby after 30! You are not to old! I got my last child (hopefully) when I was 32 and my best friend had her second now at 35 (her first came when she hit 30). I know several women that got their first child late (after 35) and they're doing just fine. Good Luck!
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
oh... That's the first time I heard about late pregnancies in Sweden. Thank you... I am more positive now that my Future babies and I are going to be fine... Whoopie! ^_^ Thanks mammamuh! hugs...
• Canada
23 Feb 09
Hello from what I have learned in school, and elsewhere...there are added risks with pregnancy later in life..this is for any mom..not just first time moms. I am not exaclty sure what all of these risks are...i do however know that after age 34, there is a higher chance of a women having an extra or missing (not sure) chromosone which can cause down syndrome. But that is after age 34. But many people have had healthy children well after this age, just as many younger and given birth to unhealthy children. The most important thing is to talk to a doctor or someone like that...who can adivise you of how to take care of yourself before getting pregnant, as well as when you are pregnant. Also make sure to have proper medical attention when you are pregnant. A lot of times this can help reduce the risk of complications. Good luck!!!
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
23 Feb 09
Oh! I forgot this one possibility. I've volunteered on Special education training and been on special kids camp... I know how hard it is for parents to deal with their special children though those kids have their own ways of worming their way into your heart. And girl, you made me feel guilty hee hee. I'm working always in front of the computer and sometimes with the work load and at the busiest times, I forget or even forgo eating just to finish things up and to stick to my work schedule. Gosh! I gotta work on my eating habits... lol toink! thanks Kayla... ^_^
@elysium (169)
• United States
24 Feb 09
It is not too late to have baby when you are in your 30s. My mother had my older brother when she was 30 and had me when she was 36. Do not think about getting old and pregnancy at an advanced age. Just think about how happy you will be once you become pregnant.
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
nice! thanks Elysium... I'm imagining patting my tummy already hee hee... I'm getting more confident with the positive responses about late pregnancies.. thank you so much... ^_^
@daneg33 (1128)
• Canada
23 Feb 09
I had my first when I was 31 and my second at 36. Many women are waiting until 40 to have their first, because of their careers, etc. I don't see any problem with having kids when you are older. Prenatal care is way more advanced than it was 20 years ago and you can even see your baby in 4D now on a scan. There are so many tests that can be done to see if everything is okay with the baby. I wasn't worried about having kids at an older age. The only thing is that the older you are the less patience you have... If you have any doubts, go to some parenting sites and take a look at the discussions in there. Maybe even ask questions.
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
23 Feb 09
wow! really at 31? whoop! now I felt more confident... I'll look in on those parenting sites you mentioned and get more ideas on this... thank you, daneg... =^_^=