February 24, 2009 3:24pm CST
hi-i had spoke about a daughter i gave up 25 years ago and was going to finally meet.i have triplet boys now that are 6 years old and did not want to leave behind with thier dad because they do not always get along.my husband and i have been married for 10 years and we live around his family. all of my family are over 2000 miles away.i thought i would have my husband and my boys go with me to meet my daughter my husband is very selfish and rude he complained the whole time we were there that he did not want to be there. he does this any time we start to travel some where that does not involve what he wants to do.he verbally naged me the whole way back telling me you gave up your daughter and never raised her.you are no good .whan we had our triplets i had to give up my job in the medical field because i needed to take care of the babys however he did not make enough to support us and all i heard was we have no money.i started cleaning comerical buildings at 2 o clock in the morning and coming home before he went to work and i would take care of the kids. ever year whan it is tax time i have to pay about 1200 dollars in self employment taxs when they take it out of our return money he tells me every year that i owe him 1200 dollars because he paid for my self employment taxs.i dont know if he realizes how much i have saved us in child care by geting up at 2 in the morning 7 days a week i really do not in joy these hours.but i have to do it for my kids.he has a full time job and has a hobby farm when he gets home he gos out to the cattle and stays out there until after 9 i am very tired by 8 and need to be in bed to be up the next morning at 2 again.he tells me what ever comes in the house with cattle poop on his shoes and mixes lamb bottles rite out of our kitchen.he never has money for the kids food but he is always buying things for the animals.i am really tired of all of this after 9 years and he will not listen he will yell tell me to shut up.what would you do if you were in my shoes?
25 Feb 09
if i were in your situation, i would work hard and earn my money so that i would not depend on him. i would also try to talk to my husband if we can divide the family expenses and equally share on paying them. my having a daughter with other man should not be an issue with him but as much as possible i would not be remiss on my duty with my triplets so that my husband would not make an issue out of it
• United States
25 Feb 09
thanks -i am the one that is with our triplets all the time evan with me working around the school ours and his work hours i made 40,000 last year cleaning this was very hard and i stay very tired but if i dont do this my triplets would be hungry he makes sure his cows and animals are fed first and takeing care of first.the more i do the more he tells me oh you dont do any thing he is a very hard man to get along with.thae house is calm when he is not here and when he comes home he starts yelling and arguing with the kids and they are all crying and upset before bed time.i really am afraid to thing of my kids having to see him alone if we ever did split up .i have been holding off for there sake for so long thinking if i can just hang in there until they are older.it will be one less year they will have to go thru this.i have tryed to talk to my husband about this but he acts very inmature and starts screaming and gets the whole house upset.i really do not think this will ever work like this.
25 Feb 09
Hello my dear friend deedeehall Ji, I think, this situation is out-come of non-single marriages, I think, un-like me, you have married more than once, whereas, i have married once only. In fact, it is very difficult to treat all children like one's natural children. The controversies would not have come up in single marriage. next, i also think, for each and everything, we enjoy worldly, God takes tax for this. Now, I do agree, your hubby should not be that harsh and must realise your sufferings. may god bless you taht you settle issues at the early stage. and have a great time.