How can I deal with my daughter who is now a teen-ager ?

Philippines
February 25, 2009 5:20pm CST
Hi. I have a daughter who is in her teen-age year. It's difficult for me to communicate with her now. She's always quiet and talk to us just once in a while. Can you please help me to deal with this?
2 people like this
9 responses
@se7enthbird (8326)
• Philippines
25 Feb 09
hi cherry welcome to mylot. your post is so short that i didnt get much of what you wanted to say. you can get more advice here or suggestions if you elaboratedly explain what was this all about. are you and your daugther close then suddenly she acts like a total stranger with you? is your daugther extra talkative and now giving you cold shoulders? if you are not communicatng with her before when she was much younger then there is no point for you to expect that she will be communiating with you now that she is a teen. welcome again to the wonderful world of mylot. the secret of mylot is to post atleast four lines or more for your post to be qualified as an earning. hope to see you more around.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Feb 09
My daughter always talked when we were in the car. I had to pick her up from school everyday and there was a lot shared in that mile home. After that not so much. It was fresh on her mind. Sometimes she would just be blue and I would ask her if she wanted to go for a ride in the evening sometimes as midnight. We would go out in the country and while driving and just talk and talk. Now that she is older I miss it. I was awfully tired through those years. Be a good listener. Be honest. Love her. You'll get through. She will turn around and thank you in her twenties and maybe even tell you what a great kid she was in her teens. You will just smile. She is trying to sort out all that is happening around her. That takes a lot of thought.
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4397)
• Philippines
11 Jun 09
Do you guys go to trips as a family? Does she have any older siblings whom she confides more than she does with you? Family trips often help the members bond together, especially if it's a fun experience for everyone. I believe this is one of the good reasons why my family is bonded and why me and my siblings like spending time with our parents :D We've been psyched that parents = fun trips, therefore, parents = fun. As for having older siblings that you can relate to, maybe you can have a serious talk with this older sibling and ask if everything is fine with your younger daughter. An older sibling often understands the younger sibling better than the parent :P Thanks for the response on my discussion!
• United States
9 Mar 09
Its kind of hard to say without knowing if something has happened. Have you always communicated well before or are you just now wanting her to talk to you about her daily experiences. My girls are 11 and just this year since middle school we have started talking so much more than before. We always had good communication, but now they come home with stories from their day and we sit around in the kitchen and talk for quite some time until dinner or after. I hope that does not change, but knowing that things usually do change the older they get, I will just continue to make myself available when they want to talk, and let them know that I am always here when they need me.
@acmj1985 (25)
• United States
26 Feb 09
First of all, Good luck with a teenage daughter! I think that if you keep opening up to her then she will know that she can come talk to you if she needs to. The best thing with kids is to open and honest with them so then they are more likely to be open and honest with you!
@katsalot1 (1619)
25 Feb 09
I think teen-agers are living in a different world, so as far as they are concerned parents are from another planet. You can't force them to communicate, but maybe there are some things that you have in common that could help you. I used to find that humour helped - like watching a TV programme that you can both laugh about. One thing I used to do was I had some magnetic letters that I stuck on the fridge, and I'd leave a funny sentence, then next time I went to the fridge my daughter would have used the same letters to make another funny sentence - and so on. That way we were communicating without talking, which some teenagers have a problem with!
@hotviper (129)
• Philippines
25 Feb 09
all she cares is her allowance, why not lowering it, and she will talk to you what happened. lolz this is funny but will work. anyway, try to talk to her often like treating her as an adult, you can share your problems with her even little problems like you just hate mustard, of course not problems with your husband, you dont want her to hate her dad, if she will be comfortable with you, she will also share what she thinks , what are her problems etc. good luck
@spalladino (17923)
• United States
25 Feb 09
Welcome to the world of teenagers! I raised four children and all of them (except that swtjenlove wasn't so bad) went nuts at around 14 or 15 and didn't regain their sanity until they were around 18. You're lucky that your daughter is quiet! I have dealt with the quiet ones and the very rebellious ones who didn't know when to shut up. Just try your best to keep the lines of communication open, let your daughter know that you love her and, when she's ready, she will come out of her shell...a beautiful young woman. Patience is the key.
@meggan79 (436)
• United States
25 Feb 09
Are you just trying to get her to talk in General or trying to get her to talk about specific things?