step mom

India
February 26, 2009 12:18am CST
why we don't get the shower of affection and warmth from our step mom?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Yori88 (1468)
• Philippines
26 Feb 09
I never had a step mother and I am lucky enough that we have a complete and single family. I can't say any experience with regard to how someone is treated by his or her step mom because I've never been into that situation. SO I just want to share maybe some ideas why we don't get the shower of affection and warmth from our step mom. At first, we know for a fact that a step mother will always be a step mother. She can never treat a child her own because in the first place she did not carried that child in her womb. She does not know how it feels to have a baby from your own blood and body. Next is that the only relation she has to the child is through his father who is her husband. So I think knowing the fact that there might be some competition when it comes to the attention that the man gives to his child and to his wife, that determines how the step mom will deal with the child. That could either get worse or get better. It also depends on how the step mom grew up. If she is fond of children even on her cousins, nieces, nephews and other children from their family then tendency is that she will love more her step-child because she like kids. Or she can just reason out her husband that if she loves her husband she must love and accept those people whom her husband loves. A mother's love can't be compared to any other kind of love in the world. But a mother's love to her own child if she has one can surely be stronger than her love to her step child. That is because her child is her own and not other woman's child. So those step children who found step mother who loves them so much are lucky enough compared to some children who are being maltreated by their step mom. Hope there will be no bad step mothers. Even if they don't feel any love or do not show affection to their step child, at least they should not any harm to them.
@ellen_mom (174)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I think step-moms don't know how to react to us. We aren't really their child, and if our birth mom is still in the picture, they feel like they cannot really be a parent. And if they have kids of their own, forget about it. I will never be as important to my step mother as her kids are. I think if we can get any response at all, we should count that as affection.
@nanayangel (7862)
• Philippines
26 Feb 09
Hi there! Well, not all the time I think. But mostly because we don't have much connection with our step mom and that more often than not, we try to compare her to our real mother and we all know that she will never measure up. Not even by half. I think that it's possible if we will be able to keep an open mind and know that they will never know us perfectly like our mothers do and that we should be open to a friendship, at least.
• United States
26 Feb 09
I never had a step-mother, so I don't know what that is like, but I do have a step-father and I can say that he was a total jerk to me. He was brutal at times to my brother and I, and my brother suffered the most for it.