taken for granted

@miccant (154)
United States
February 26, 2009 2:50pm CST
Do you ever feel like your partner takes you for granted? I have been feeling that way latley. My husband is worse than my kids at wanting me to wait on him. Last night I was going to the store so I told him to make himself some medicine for the cold he has and he said that he would wait for me to get home to do it for him. I asked what he would do if I was to die. He said that he didnt know. I dont mind helping him every now and then but he is taking it for granted that I will make his lunch, fix his medicine, and make his coffee. How can I break him of this? Is it possible to change this??? Please any advice would be great.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@koalatbs (2229)
• United States
1 Mar 09
Gosh miccant... I wish I had an answer for you. Sometimes I reallyyy feel exactly the same way. It is really frustrating, as you well know. My teenage son, who is 14, does this a lot. Like you said, I don't know what he'd do if I wasn't around to practically wipe his butt for him. LoL! My husband depends on me for a lot too, which is really hard because of the medical problems I've been having these past few years. Too much physical activity really aggrevates my condition in my legs especially. I don't work outside of the home because of it so I feel somewhat obligated to do more around the house but even still I could use a little extra help. I sat down with my husband yesterday and kind of laid it all out on the line. I think I went through a whole box of tissues! I hate it when I'm trying to make a point & be serious but end up crying my eyes out in front of him. A family meeting might help. We did this once and we're going to start it again. Once a week the family will sit down at the kitchen table with pads of paper and come to decisions together on what chores each person in the house is responsible for. This helps some because then there can be a little negotiation. Your kids & husband won't feel like a chore was given to them and they had no say in the matter. My son was complaining about taking out the trash this weekend and I reminded him that he is now "The Trash Man" in the house. LoL! It kinda helped lighten things up. Hope some of these suggestions help miccant. We women have to stick together! :) Jill
@cherriemae (3370)
• Philippines
27 Feb 09
hi there miccant... i had some boyfriends before who took advantage on me.. i had a boyfriend that he's thinking that i have lots of money..he always said that he has a problem about money, so he always ask money from me and i always felt that he took advantage on me.. he ask lod for his cellphone.. and that's so disgusting.. that's why i decided to stop communicating with him, he only using me for what he needed..i'm tired of that kind os people.. i learned from my mistake having relationship with him.. thank God i have learned early... about your case friend.. most husband really wanted thier wife to be their servant, that is our duty to them, but sometimes you feel tired of it, i know..but he's already your husband, it's just take time to talk with him and say what's bothering in your mind..it's a heart to heart talk... good luck and God Bless...
@ds6413 (2070)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I had that problem with my first husband. He expected me to wait on him, be at his beck and call. Needless to mention he is now my ex-husband. My b/f now does not expect me to be his slave. We do things for the other all the time.I am not sure how to break your husband of that habit. When it got to be too much I spoke up for myself, I guess it wasn't meant to be a long marriage for me and my ex. Good luck.