What is wrong with SOME females these days?!?

United States
February 26, 2009 11:37pm CST
So long story short, I know a few women who are with men who beat them! And talk down to them and treat them like crap! I mean, I guess I just don't understand and I'm hoping some people can maybe help me understand this, but why would anyone want to be with someone who hits them?!? These females I know say it's because they love their SO, but seriously the way I look at it is that if he is hitting you then he doesn't love you. Not like you love him anyways. I just don't understand it. I mean one of these females told me personally that she doesn't like to be with a guy who treats her good. She likes to be beat because she feels she deserves it. Ok fine, but to the point where this guys almost killed you 4 times or more!!! Seriously, you need a reality check. I don't know I needed to vent, but any comments towards helping me understand why some females like this and why they deal with it is appreciated. Also I would like to know everyone elses opinions.
4 people like this
16 responses
@miamilady (4916)
• United States
27 Feb 09
wow, these are your friends? I don't know anyone who has been beaten that severely, but I do know it happens. I am suprised by the women who says she WANTS to be in a relationship like that. I've always assumed that it was because they were afraid to leave. I do believe that poor self esteem has a lot to do with it. Not sure what else to say!
• United States
27 Feb 09
Thanks to everyone who responded. I'm not sure that with one of the women, it has anything to do with low selfesteme. She's just plain stupid. Neither of the girls were raised in abusive homes. Ah, I guess as the saying goes...:The bad boy always gets the girl."
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
28 Feb 09
Sometimes women are just too afraid to leave. I stayed for almost 22 years. Now granted my ex didn't "beat" me. But he did knock me around a bit, shove me into walls, down stairs and call me every name in the book for most of those 22 years. It actually reached the point where I didn't even realize it was abuse. Yep, it wasn't until we split up that I realized I was an abused wife. I was in a doctor's waiting room and there on the wall was a check list of what abuse consisted of. Reading it I was shocked - I could answer yes to almost all of them. And I had apparently stayed, out of fear. The truely ironic part of all of this is I no longer fear him or any man. I just find him and men like him rather pathetic.
@shelllee (15)
28 Feb 09
OMG i totally agree!! If any man ever hit me id be gone like a shot! I've had a few friends that have had violent relationships and i have no idea why they put up with it for so long, thankfully they both free of their worst halfs now!
• Canada
27 Feb 09
A lot of these women have low self-esteem. They probably grew up in an abusive home so get used to it and think that it is normal and acceptable. They might think that the guy she is with really loves her, and that this is the best she can do.
@Archie0 (5175)
27 Feb 09
This thing happens mostly when a woman thinks she is helpless or she has the only person on this earth and that is his man.The fault is not the woman ofcourse when we gonna ask her she not gona reveal the truth that she hates her husband and cant leave because of some problems buta woman thinks deeper than a man does she thinks for the after effects may be she thinks of her childrens her society which will talk about their relationship and at last again she thinks about the husband who will be on a wrong way even more after she leaves him.its the sign of a sad and a woman who thinks she cannot take care of herself and her future, its a woman who depends on someone because she is helpless due to some past reasons.we never know and can never take out reason tilll we know the exct condition of her, she might be never wrong..because after all she is still with him
@suspenseful (40312)
• Canada
27 Feb 09
I have some theories. First, I think the woman feels that she is so bad that no one else will have her and he is the only man who will put up with her. Second, she feels as if there is no help for her, that no one will believe her if she says her man is beating her up. Third, she may enjoy it. Fourth, she is told that no matter what the man does, he is her master and her boss and he can do anything to her - so she made her bed and should live in it. I mean it is all how she was brought up and the only thing for her is to get a change of attitude so she can get the courage to leave or find someone who can help her.
@dmrone (750)
• United States
27 Feb 09
I wish i could give you a decent answer, but there is truly no reason for anyone to stay in an abusive relationship. My first marriage was an abusive one and when i finally got tired of being abused i got the nerve and got out of it. I stayed in it for as long as i did, because i thought i was doing the best thing for my children. I finally figured it out that it was harming them more than it was helping them. I got out of it and it has been alot better for my children, who are grown. Some women stay in it because thay think they can't find someone to treat them any better, or they have lost all faith in finding a man who will be good to them. After being it an abusive relationship for so long women begin to identify with their abuser and think that is the way a relationship is supposed to be, and they aren't willing to get out of it to try to find a man who will treat them better.
• United States
27 Feb 09
I know that that's hard to believe ; why would any woman or anyone want to be with someone who beats them. Many of the woman does have some type of mental problems and I don't mean to say that to be funny, some have low self esteem , others may not know what is the correct way someone shows that they love you and last the person that they are with started verbally abusing them and from that point it grew into beating them. From that transition it's easy to start physically abusing the person , because you already destroyed your self esteem and made emotionally unbalance. But from personal experience I can tell you with must woman that let it get to that point the abuser started emotionality abusing them it starts of small then the emotional abuse becomes more until their is nothing left and then the physical abuse starts. That's my theory anyway. In my case I was dealing with emotional abuse I left before it became physical. I hope this gives you some insight as to why some woman stay with guys like that.
@mansha (6301)
• India
27 Feb 09
At times when you have been brought up with abusive parents or seen your parents suffer an abusive relationship you just tend to accept it the normal way of having a relationship. Many times person getting abused gets so used to this cycle of getting beatings and then making up and herself gets conmvinced that she is the one who is at fault. Since she is told rep[ortedly by her abuser that she is the one who irritates him and provokes him to beat her up. She definately needs counselling and therapy to break this pattern.May be you can convince her to do so and see a therapist just for a while.
• United States
27 Feb 09
Wow this is pretty serious stuff. To answer you question about why, well there are a lot of reasons women stay. The idea that this girl thinks she deserves to be beat is probably a bull line to cover how she feels. She probably doesn't have much self-esteem going for her. That is one of the main ways the men get away with doing this to women. I actually have written and article about this very subject. Here is the link for that http://www.helium.com/items/866413-why-do-women-tolerate-abuse-from-their-men There are many other articles under this title so you may get an idea of some more reasons why this happens. I hope that you find the link helpful!!
• Finland
27 Feb 09
Most women nowadays feels they are much better being with a though guy than a cool guy that is ready to treat them nicely, they usually have a sentence for these guys 'hes too cool and nice..i dont like him'. Maybe they will be better with a broken nose and nice looking though guy..hehehe
• India
27 Feb 09
Oh my god!I didn't realize that even in these days you have girls who take crap coming from men like beating them up and they even enjoy it!There has to be something wrong with them.i feel that abuse of any sort whether physical or emotional doesn't need to be put up with and people who do need help.They need to understand that they do not deserve it and if they don't people around them should let them know.It's a psychological disorder if you enjoy being treated bad!
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
27 Feb 09
I agree...but I read a book on psychology that tackles that... I think I got what the author was saying, well, just in case you want to read that book it's "the road less traveled" it's a popular book. it's written by dr. peck... he's practiced psychitry / psychotherapy and his book really helped me in a lot of ways. and back to your question... it's a long explanation. hehehe.
• United States
27 Feb 09
If this woman thinks that she deserves to be beat and that's the only type of guy that she wants to be with, I would say that she really needs help. Something in her life has made her feel this way, I'm like you I can't understand it. I know women just like that. The trouble with a lot of the women is that the relationship starts out good then the man starts getting mean by playing mind games with her,telling her things like: your fat or your ungly no one else would have you, if you leaves you can't make it on your own, or you deserves what you get. So by the time the man starts beating her the woman has gotten such a low self esteem that they really believe that they deserve it. Myself, I've always told a men that he if he ever beat me he better do a good job because he had to lay down a sleep sometime. like the saying goes payback hell!
@elghrasya (501)
• Philippines
27 Feb 09
Those women were blinded by the power of love. They are not normal haha.. seriously they are not because if they are they should realized that if men love them they will not be hitted. Love is about caring and not hurting.
@ronharold (555)
• Philippines
27 Feb 09
Those females are blind to the truth. They don't know what love is. I think there are someone who really made them think that way. They just got influence by something. Its not normal to human to love being hit.