a priest refused to give me the holy eucharist!

Philippines
March 2, 2009 11:42am CST
yesterday, i came back to the philippines after years of being away. i attended church for the first time. my family lives a few cities away so i was pleasantly surprised when i fund my brother, with tears in his eyes, sitting right beside me. i lost myself momentarily and hugged him. but we immediately regained composure and decided to finish the mass. well, it seems priests are rather strict here. the priest refused to give me and my brother the holy eucharist! he said we were giving "public displays of affection." i explained that the man who hugged me WAS MY BROTHER, and i apologized for the sudden hug but i haven't seen my brother in years! the priest was still scolding us for "not taking the mass seriously, like most of the youth nowadays." my brother was a little shellshocked and never went to mass there again. i was infuriated as i didn't mean to break any rules of conduct, and i never knew hugging a person in church was frowned upon. am i wrong to be mad? i also never knew that priests have the right to refuse to give the holy eucharist because you hugged someone in church...
3 people like this
13 responses
@1hopefulman (46075)
• Canada
2 Mar 09
I wouldn't waste my time worrying about this. Obviously this priest forgot the compassion and personal interest that Jesus showed for people. Remember your relationship is with God and not with a priest. Build a close relationship with God through prayer, Bible reading, and good conduct. God sees what is in our heart and that is what counts. We serve God and not priests!
1 person likes this
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
Hi Sandra, I'm sorry that happened to you... I'm also a Catholic and I can say you have the right to be mad too. There are some strict priests I know in our province but they don't do that. Refusing giving a communion is humiliating especially during the Eucharistic mass. And a good priest will never refuse something like that in a mass. that's what I know... It would have been better if the priest asked you after the mass... I feel so sad about this cuz we are in good terms with the priests in our province as a church choir member... Just put it down to experience and forgive what happened... We aren't perfect no matter what vocation we chose in our lives. ^_^ take care and God bless... hugs...
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
hehe. poor priest. i was thinking maybe he was sick and having a bad day, or maybe having the first symptoms of alzheimers disease (mood swings and behavioral changes). hehe. i could have given him a piece of my mind but i didn't. i wasn't entirely concerned about what he did to me but more of what he did to my brother. my brother is younger than me and he was really shocked any embarrassed by what happened. he's such a sweet guy and to be treated like he was a bad person really got to him. i was infuriated, but he was almost depressed. well, we avoided that priest and never went to his mass anymore to avoid trouble. we don't want him to remember us and refuse us the eucharist again. apparently, he called a teacher stupid and he got "reassigned." hehe.
@kissieme (777)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
that he might be... lol maybe to help your brother get over this experience is to make him realize that not all priests are like that... and that people are not perfect hehe... and you can kid your brother about looking so handsome that he can be mistaken as a chick boy hehe joke... well, it might work ^_^
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
hahaha it just might work ^_^ no worries, my brother is fine now. but i don't think he'll ever go back to that church lol ^_^ it's nice of you to try to think of how to soothe my brother. hehe.
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
you have the right to be mad, of course you should be mad. you're being accused of being homosexual when you're not!! if i were you i will never ever attend masses to that church every again. and i'd definitely lose respect for that priest, ah well but you know, as what the catholic church teaches - to err is human to forgive divine. point is, let go of it...forget it and move on to another church and maybe we should pray for that priest as well.
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
hi!he didn't accuse me of being homosexual (i'm a girl and i hugged my brother), but he did accuse us of being flirts. hehe, in either case, it's still wrongful accusations, right? and it's still not right for the priest to jump to conclusions... thanks for your reply! i feel a little better. yes, my brother has been praying for that priest. he's been doing it under his breath, though. hehe. my brother was really spooked by it...
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
HAHA!! LOL!! sorry i guess i have my own share of that same kind of mistake that the priest did ---jumping into wrong conclusions!! haha!! I initially thought that you were annoyed because the priest accused the two of you being homosexuals. HAHAH how funny is that?? ROFL...i have to laugh at myself excuse me!!
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
hehe that's okay. the sentiments were right anyway. ^_^ if i were indeed a homosexual and i was hugging my brother, i would still be offended that he refused to give me the eucharist. ^_^ it's alright, lol. it's rather funny. :D
@j1106e (53)
• Philippines
7 Mar 09
wow, really? that was disgusting.. am sorry to hear your story, but i dont think it's not right scolding you. Did he scold you in front while you were about to recieve the holy eucharist? Im a catholic but sad to say, there are some not so nice priest around. And sometimes it's very disappointing to realiaze that church people are more worst compare to those who seldom attended the mass.
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
yep, he scolded us while we were in line. right in front of the altar a lot of people in authority are not nice at all. :( it's just sad that a priest can be so cruel and malicious. hehe sometimes i do see churchgoers who actually gossip about other churchgoers right after mass. it's like taking a bath just so you can play in the mud right after! lol ^_^
@izathewzia (5141)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
I could not believe this. How come we are not allowed to kiss our brothers inside the church? I saw a lot even kissing on the lips when exchanging for "peace be with you". It is really confusing.
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
i know! he said we should not have been flirting with each other during the mass. i said we weren't "flirting" because the guy was my brother. even after my explanation, he was still mad. he kept saying people no longer take the mass seriously. i feel that he wantedto make an example of us, which was both a case of mistaken identity (we were not flirting because we were siblings) and a case of being too conservative (hugging is not a foul thing). my brother was just as confused. while i was infuriated, he was rather depressed. he didn't get why the priest could do such a thing.
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
was this an old priest? it's strange. i find it strange because i actually hold my gf's hand when i'm in church and no priest i've ever met has done that..that's such a weird thing to do, because we are a religion that is supposed to accept others. it was just an assumption on his part which i don't agree with
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
i understand your question, i think perhaps an older priest is bound to be more conservative than a young priest. but surprise, it was a young priest, perhaps in his late thirties (if you consider that young hehe). yes, it's weird, isn't it? hugging and holding hands is not a foul thing, even in church. we kiss each other's cheeks when we say peace in church. we hug family members after mass. but i think he was concerned that we did it while the mass was going on. even then, i don't see why he refused to give us the eucharist. it's not like i killed someone in church! hehe
@jd107nette (1456)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
awww... that's not really nice... What kind of a priest was that to jump into conclusions and accuse you of such when he doesn't know anything! that's very unprofessional! We have a lot of strict priests here too, but they are not like that... No wonder you are furious...
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
oh well, poor priest, he has way too many judgmental cells in his body. i don't see why a sister and brother can't hug in a church. i know he though my brother was my boyfriend, but i did clear things out and i said i was his sister. but that didn't help things. i think it might have spurred him on further that i was not at all apologetic! hehe. oh well...
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
that priest deserve a good spanking lol. I wonder if he continues this kind of attitude people would still continue to go to mass. He has no right to do that of all the persons they should set a good example on virtues. Well I guess he lucks a some virtue then. He needs to go to a lot of orientation. Or maybe he had a bad hair day lol. Tell your brother not to mind this priest behavior maybe his turning into a senile person lol. I am a catholic what he did is unjustifiable I hope he realizes what he have done and to humiliate you and your brother publicly he needs to have a public apologies for that actions. Is he playing God hahahah. sorry but I just hate what he did.
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
actually, people still attend his mass. some people in my neighborhood are the righteous type. they usually hate our youth. i don't know if this is the case in other countries, but all catholic churches in our country now don't allow brides to wear sleeveless or tube wedding gowns. the shoulders have to be covered. i think that's too much; a tube wedding gown is definitely beautiful and not skanky at all. in fact, i think that most brides imagine themselves wearing a tube wedding dress. oh well... anyway, that priest is definitely misguided. i'll pray for him. :o
• United States
2 Mar 09
I can't blame you to get mad those time since the priest judging you both with your brother. But if i am in your situation, I calmly not argue or mad him at the point but i will talk the priest after a mass. There is a lots of old fashion priest and they have different view of point in there parish but as said if i am your situation I will looked and talk the priest after the mass not in the time he did and I am sure he will ask forgiveness to both you.
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
we wanted to have the eucharist, so i explained to the priest that the guy i hugged was my brother. still, he was mad. in his closing sermon, he even attacked us! my brother and i were too scared to approach him after that. we saw that he could not be reasoned with as he did not accept our story... even after i have cleared up the situation, he never apologized. instead, he attacked us during his last remarks.
• United States
2 Mar 09
Oh my gosh, I have never heard of a priest doing that. I would be mad to. Im catholic as well and i know that priest can refuse to give holy communion but I doubt that hugging in public is one of them. I wouldn't go back to that church either. I cant believe he did that even after you explained what happend.
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
yes, it's horrible. forgiving people is supposed to be part of his job description, right? lol even after i clarified everything, he just kept on ranting. i'm thinking maybe he has a psychiatric condition. maybe he has the starting signs of alzheimers disease. they say the first symptoms, aside from forgetfulness, are mood swings and behavioral changes. hehe.
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
11 Apr 10
I have attended Catholic Churches where you are expected to shake hands when giving peace. In close communities such as the Catholic charismatic renewal we even used to hug each other? What's wrong with hugging your brethren?
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
11 Apr 10
Hi sandragellar, I hope that you're intelligent enough to make a distinction between a well informed priest and not so well informed priest. It seems that priest have the right to refuse holy Eucharist only to parishioners who publicly live in sin and not according to the the Church's teachings. For example I am living with someone but not married according to the Catholic Church's laws. What you did is nothing wrong. I believe that the priest was totally wrong here. Best thing is to forgive but if I were you and I would meet this priest again I would have a one to one talk about this to ensure he wont do it again. Ifyou re not happy with his answer, write to the Bishop.
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
Priests think that they are the most holy creatures on earth when in fact they are also sinners like everyone else. You have the right to get mad.